


25 Days of Christmas (Or How Sometimes Zoro Really Regrets His Life Choices)

by konimello



Category: One Piece
Genre: 25 Days of Fic, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Christmas, Multi, okay maybe a lot of bad language whatever, some bad language as expected of certain characters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-01
Updated: 2014-12-27
Packaged: 2018-02-27 16:59:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 65,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2700476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/konimello/pseuds/konimello
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zoro, Sanji, Luffy and Usopp share a house, and if that wasn't already crazy enough the rest of the year, then heaven help them at Christmas.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Christmas Music

**Author's Note:**

> I had a lot of fun with this when I did it a couple of years ago, and especially with my current OP obsession, I thought it would be fun to have a go at it again. I'm using my own xmas prompts list mixed with a few from last time (which I will happily share with anyone if they want). Meant to be separate drabbles, but they're all in the same AU and in chronological order so they're less separate than intended.  
> Relationship tags/tags may be added as it gets further on. Enjoy!

Unimpressed didn't even begin to describe it. It wasn't even December yet, there was no way anything should be allowed to be this festive yet. But It was, and it was everywhere.  
Zoro kept his head down, as if ignoring Christmas would make it go away. Once it was December there was no way he could stop it, not with Luffy around, but until that, Christmas was NOT a thing.

He could absolutely not smell cinnamon and spiced apple everywhere. The shops were certainly not full of tinsel and glitter and red and white and all sorts of things that clashed terribly with his hair. There weren't lights up everywhere of certain festive shapes and there were not bands of singers blocking every street.

Nope, absolutely not, Christmas was not a thing, not yet and it was just a normal day out, grabbing the few things he was actually trusted to buy from the grocery store. Normal day, like any time of the year, he wasn't irritated. He was not being harassed by the festive season. At all.

_"Oh I wish it could be Christmas everyday..."_  
Zoro's groan was loud enough to make the little old lady behind him jump. The green haired man cringed and stumbled out of the shop. Not the Christmas music. Anything else - anything else he could avoid, or hide from, or completely and utterly ignore. But Christmas music was another thing entirely.

Zoro spent the next few weeks haunted by Christmas songs and by the end of the month he already wanted the holiday season to be over.  
After that he avoided all shops unless he was really desperate, and he avoided all radios and TVs in an attempt to stop the repeated hell that was stuck in his head. He replayed everything he knew on guitar over and over until that was the only thing stuck in his head.

It was a pretty decent strategy. He had almost forgotten it was getting closer to Christmas, and it was pretty peaceful. That was, until he heard Sanji humming along to 'winter wonderland’ as he cooked dinner. This set the larger man off, and after the resulting argument Sanji made sure to play as many Christmas songs as he could whenever Zoro walked into the room. He started wearing Christmas jumpers around Zoro, and soon Luffy and Usopp were joining in, as if this was just the cook's innocent attempt at getting a housemates into the Christmas spirits.

Zoro swore he would kill the blond if he didn't get the younger two to stop, but with a smirk Sanji pointed out that he couldn't stop them even if he tried. Usopp was making perfectly shaped paper snowflakes (which were soon stuck all over the windows and doors) with a makeshift wreath hung on the door. Luffy pulled a pile of Christmas DVDs out of nowhere, and he insisted on playing one every single day until Christmas. No one was quite sure where they went after that first day, and Zoro would deny ever seeing them. He gritted his teeth h every time there was a Scrooge comment, stomping off to play his own music as loudly as possibly. It was was not Christmas. Not. At. _All.[/I >_

It still wasn't Christmas when Luffy sprayed fake snow all over Sanji's windshield and Zoro had to help clean it off. It wasn't Christmas when Nami started planning a party, and it wasn't Christmas when Franky tried to coerce him into Secret Santa.

It wasn't Christmas when Usopp covered the table in paint as he made his Christmas cards and it wasn't Christmas when Sanji started passing out cranberry sauce with every meal.

Zoro ignored the calendar he walked past every day, telling him how much closer he was to no longer being able to ignore the horror or the holiday season around him everywhere he went. The house would be devoured by decorations and Luffy reverting back to a five year old (not that that was an uncommon occurrence, but still) but so long as the calendar still says November, it was not Christmas.

Unfortunately for the green haired man, time did indeed move forwards. The last day of November gave him chills, and he had almost convinced himself that if he did not get out of bed all day, then the day wouldn’t happen, and that the day could not turn to the next, the dreaded first of December.

Of _course_ he wasn’t allowed to do that. Of course he couldn’t enjoy his last day of kind of freedom from the holiday season.  
 _Jingle Bell Rock_ blared out from under his head, and Zoro swore he nearly had a heart attack. He grabbed his phone from under his pillow, growling at the picture of the blond haired monster he lived with flashing up on the screen.

“The _hell_ did you do to my phone, shit cook?” 

He was greeted by a devious chuckle. “Did I wake you up moss head? I just thought I’d let you know that breakfast’s ready, and you know that Luffy’s prepared to take care of it if you’re late.”

“Why did you have to call me? Ugh. When did you even have time to ruin my ringtones?” He shifted further under the blankets, determined to ignore life for another few minutes. It would take Luffy that long at least to devour his own food.

“Do you like it? I thought you might appreciate a little Christmas spirit, since we’re so close to the big month and all.” Zoro heard snickering, and something that may have sounded like Luffy that also echoed up the stairs to his room.

“Fuck you.” He hung up, borrowing further under his blankets. Never mind breakfast, if it meant he could avoid his housemates tormenting him all day then he would gladly stay in bed. He ignored the next few phone calls, including a few different Christmassy ringtones that he assumed were programmed to Luffy and Usopp’s numbers. It’s a dream, he could tell himself. There is definitely no Christmas music here.  
Sadly his dream of ignorance didn’t last all that long as he felt his leg being yanked. He scrambled back up the bed to no avail before landing in a heap on the floor.

“You know, I can ring you literally all day. Surely that isn’t worth missing a little Christmassy spirit is it?” The cook stalked off, and Zoro considered crawling back to bed. His phone rang again, and he realised that Sanji might not actually be bluffing.

He sighed and trudged down stairs for his probably Christmas themed breakfast. His ignorance had been fun while it lasted but as always, his fun could not last around this house. Stupid cook with his stupid Christmas music and stupid childish housemates that couldn’t stop with an idea once it was presented to them.

Breakfast wasn’t actually as insufferable as he expected it to be, with Sanji mostly talking to Usopp about Christmas shopping plans and Luffy shoveling down food like this was his last meal. If this was as bad as it would get, Zoro could deal.

His day seemed like it actually may be peaceful enough, as he retreated back to his room. Once everyone had left, he picked up his guitar, running through a few chords before playing a few chilled out songs. Yeah, this could be a decent last day of sanity.

_‘Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock...’_

“Fucking shitty cook!”


	2. Advent Calendar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the first day of December, and the advents calendars are up. Sanji really should have known better.

Zoro almost expected to be woken up by shitty Christmas songs again, so it came as a relief when he was woken up by the sounds of yelling. He would have tried to stay in bed for the whole of this day as well, if not for the fact that even if the cook left him alone, Luffy would no doubt drag him into the middle of festivities to celebrate the real start of the Christmas season.

He rolled out of bed, pulling on a discarded shirt. He heard irate screams that could only be courtesy of the blond, and he hesitated on the last step. Peering round the banister, Zoro spotted Luffy, back against the floor with loose cardboard atop of him. He seemed to be looking up at what Zoro assumed was the cook, puppy dog eyes wide. He took a few steps further, careful to stay hidden lest the cook turn his wrath to him. That was one thing the green haired man could definitely not be bothered with this morning.

The blond looked just about ready to rip his own hair out. As he kicked the card board off the younger boy, Zoro recognised them as the advent calendars that Luffy had insisted they all get 'in the spirit of Christmas'. Zoro wasn't sure if he'd had ulterior motives when he said that, or if the kid really just could not handle temptation. He suspected the latter, but trying to guess what Luffy was thinking was just plain stupid.

"Damn it, they've literally only been there for half an hour. Half an hour Luffy, what the hell is wrong with you?" _Well,_ someone _woke up on the wrong side of bed today._

The younger boy cringed, picking himself back up. "But Sanjiii..."

Zoro retreated back into the kitchen, joining Usopp at the table where pancakes were piled up in a steaming plate. He grabbed the orange juice, pouring Usopp a glass before himself. At least someone in this house could be quiet and sane. He inhaled the food before piling his pancakes with bacon. This was a pretty convenient distraction; Zoro was glad for the chance to actually got some meat on his plate before the resident glutton did.

It wasn't long before the blond stormed in, Luffy dragged along behind him. As Zoro look closer, he noticed chocolate stains around the boy's mouth, and he shook his head affectionately. Really it shouldn't have been a surprise - this was Luffy after all, and the cook already knew to hide all food from him. Hanging chocolate on the wall was a pretty obvious mistake, in hindsight. Not like he was going to say that to an irritable cook first thing in the morning. It was too early for this shit; right now everything was pancakes.

Luffy shamelessly tipped half the pile of pancakes left on a plate, scrambling for the syrup before anyone could blink. Sanji turned around to the counter, ignoring the table of guys in favour of coffee. Zoro noticed the recently emptied mug across the table, and snickered to himself. It served the cook right for being so uptight; he wouldn't be so crabby otherwise.

The blond shot him a glare as if he had the psychic power to know when someone was thinking about him. That was actually kind of creepy. Zoro ignored him and dug into the sweet, sweet meat on his pancakes and sighed softly. For all that the cook annoyed him, he really did make good food. Maybe he felt a little bad for Luffy acting up. Just a little.

He paused his breakfast as he noticed the calculating stare on the blond say across from him, coffee in hand.

"It's nice to see you're up. I hope you remember what it is you're supposed to be doing today." Zoro sat up with a look on his face not unlike a deer caught in headlights. Today? What exactly was he supposed to be doing today? His plans were to laze around, maybe get a few new songs learned and just do things that weren't... Christmas. What had the cook decided Zoro was going to do with his own time?

Sanji's face was smug as the larger man's face fell. Christmas trees. _Fucking_ Christmas trees.  
"That was supposed to be today?" He groaned.

Sanji took a sip of his coffee. "Well, considering it's the first of December and we're already late in buying a tree - thanks a lot for that, by the way. We're getting a tree today and you're coming along to make your ass useful for once and to make up for forgetting to do it last week. No buts. And no, Luffy, you are not coming along."

The younger boy complained loudly, food spraying over the long nosed artist. Usopp sent him a look, shuffling further back on his chair. "You did kind of promise, Zoro. You can't exactly have a first of December without a tree. I'm nipping over to Kaya's to help her put hers up, so you kind of... Need to help him."

Zoro shot him a sour look, picking at the pancakes in front of him. Just what he needed, a day with the cook ordering him around. He was sure that no one had asked him to get a tree or even mentioned one, but considering how much of last month Zoro had blocked out... Maybe they were right.

"Alright! Trees! Can we get the biggest one? It'll be so awesome-"

Sanji sighed. "We'll get whatever fits. We won't be too long, Luffy, but please. Don't break anything."

Zoro snorted. It wasn't exactly like Luffy was a dog. Though the more he thought about it, the more the comparison seemed to work. He’d just begun to imagine walking Luffy on a leash before shaking his head. He definitely needed to wake up properly.

"But Saaaaanjiiiii! I wanna come! There'll be so many trees - I wonder if I can climb any?"

"That's exactly why you're not coming! Plus, you ate all of the chocolates, I'm not sure you deserve to come, whether you behave or not." The cook took sip of his coffee before finally sitting down at his plate.

The look of Luffy's face was pitiable. Sanji may have had a point, and Zoro may have already disliked Christmas enough, but... Who could really say no to that face?  
"Come on. He's just excited, that's all. There's no need to be a dick, shit cook." He paused for a second before pushing his plate forwards. "Seconds?"

Sanji's face held a heavy scowl. He sighed and got up, fishing the rest of the pancake mix from the fridge - he probably knew that at least Luffy would be demanding more. Zoro could probably manage without any more food, but if he was going to be slaved around later then he might as well take advantage of the situation while he could.

"You're going to be responsible if anything goes wrong, you know." Sanji narrowed his eyes at the green headed man. "It's going to be hectic enough already. No breaking things, no climbing, no getting lost - I'm talking to you, shitty moss head - and please, don't cause any trouble. The sooner we can get out of there the better."

Zoro could see the look of pity of Usopp's face as he watched the exchange. Lucky bugger, getting out of tree duty by being helpful and shit. He probably planned it, knowing that something like this would happen. 

"All right! This is gonna be awesome! Hey, Zoro, wanna have a competition to see who can find the biggest?" The smaller boy grinned. 

"No competitions!" The blond barked. Zoro watched an expertly flipped pancake land dead centre of the pan, and the next steaming heap of food was placed on the table.

"Hey, Luffy," Zoro whispered when breakfast was over and the blond was safely out of earshot, washing up. "I'll buy you a new advent calendar if you _do_ pick out the best tree. And by that, I mean the biggest, pointiest, heaviest one you can find."

The kid's grin grew wider, and Zoro smirked to himself. This would serve the cook right for being so annoying.


	3. Christmas Tree

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang (minus Usopp) go looking for Christmas trees. It could have gone better.

The ride there was short, and for that Zoro was glad. Luffy seemed to be acting even more hyperactive than this morning if possible, and the cook looked ready to kill. He wasn't sure if Sanji was really that bothered about Luffy and the chocolate or if this was just general Christmas stress, but the green headed man decided it was probably best if he ignored the blond for the journey. Zoro wasn’t going to suffer if the other man was stressing out. _Serves you right for being so festivey._

The place they pulled over at was huge, and Zoro grinned to himself. Now this is definitely a place where they could mess with the cook. He deserved it for being so fucking annoying.

Luffy practically ran out of the car, not getting very far before a long arm reached out and grabbed at his hood. Sanji sighed in exasperation.  
"We're here to find a tree which we can't do if you cause trouble. Stay near me, okay? And I'm talking to you too," he said, shooting Zoro a look.

“What?" Zoro defended. There was no need for the claws to come out so early. He was behaving. Right now. Since when was _Sanji_ the group care taker, anyway? Zoro remembered an incident from the summer involving the cook, a few girls, beach balls and a life time ban from said beach that definitely implied that Sanji should not be in charge. He shuddered.

The further into the compound they got, the more festive it got, and the frustrated parents and crying children they found. He could just imagine it, at the end of the day, Luffy in tears with an extremely flustered cook. That… did not make him look forwards to this trip any more than he already _wasn’t._

"Look at this one!" Luffy's eyes lit up as they hit the trees, and already he was racing ahead of them, losing himself in the branches and getting tangled up in two very close together firs. Sanji sighed heavily, long legs catching up to the man child easily. "I knew this was going to be a bad idea."

"Your fault for bringing anyone along." _Me and Luffy could have been doing fuck all at home instead, but noooo..._

The cook shot him a dark look before releasing both the tree from Luffy's grip, and Luffy from the tree's grip. One of the guys who looked like they may work there glared at the group, and they hurried on to the next group of trees before anyone could say anything to them. 

He wandered over to a few that looked particularly healthy and almost taller than himself. Unfortunately it was still probably just about small enough that Sanji would be okay with it, so that would be a no. Even if it meant getting out of there quicker, there was no way he was going to make it any easier for the cook. He’d already set Luffy up to cause some trouble anyway. Zoro smirked. Giving Luffy a helpful task was always a bad idea anyway, never mind when your helpful task was… really not that helpful.

"Hey Luffy-" wait. Where was Luffy? Where was Sanji in fact? Zoro groaned as he whipped around, nothing but trees around him. How were they separated already?

-

Sanji would kill that moss headed bastard. Luffy was a handful at the worst of times, never mind filled with holiday spirit as he tried (unhelpfully) to pick a tree. It didn't even seem like he was even giving it any thought at this point, everything he picked out was either too bare, too rotten or just... Crap. Sanji wasn't sure what sort of tree exactly Luffy was looking for, but it wasn't one that they were going to have in their house. Definitely not. Sanji would have a _perfect_ tree and a _perfect_ house when he made his first _perfect_ Christmas dinner away from home. Well, away from Zeff, anyway.

He was getting more and more dirty looks at this point as Luffy dragged him through rows of trees, branches catching on his hair. It was like towing a fucking five year old around. Except five year olds were a _hell_ of a lot easier to restrain.

"Look at this one! It's so big!" Luffy pulled the blonde to a stop in front of one of the larger trees that would obviously be a pain to bring home, Never mind the fact that their ceiling didn't even go that high. If only he could have locked Luffy in the car while he shopped. Though then he would probably be fearing for the safety of his car for the whole trip, so… maybe not.  
Sanji pinched the bridge of his nose, turning away from the boy to light a cigarette. He was going to kill that moss head later for making him bring that little shit.

He took a long drag before turning back around towards Luffy. Sanji blamed his lack of foresight on his lack of sleep; of course the resident trouble maker would disappear too. He sighed, taking another drag. Well, it wasn't like he was getting very far with Luffy in the way anyway. He strolled around the compound, much more relaxed now that he had at least five minutes to forget about his troublesome housemates. It didn't even take him long to find a tree that suited what he wanted - a vivid green, only just taller than Sanji himself with thick branches obscuring the trunk. He considered for a second finding the other two before making any decisions before shaking his head. They wouldn't know a good tree if it bit them in the ass.

It was a pleasant surprise when the tree wrappers offered to help attach the tree on to the car. Looks like he didn't even need to bring his two intellectually challenged housemates after all. He sat at the wheel, finishing his cigarette. He honestly wasn't sure if they would would give up or get kicked out first, though his money was on the second option. The peace and quiet was a nice change, the scenery around his car happy and Christmassy, so the cook lit another cigarette and watched people going about their business. After a few minutes, he decided it probably was worth trying to rope the two idiots he brought along back to the car. There was still plenty to do today, after all. He pulled out his phone, sighing as he dialed the moss head's number.

-

Zoro weaved in and out of the rows of trees, looking for any sign of Luffy or Sanji. Getting the kid to make trouble for the cook wasn't as fun if Zoro wasn't there to see it.  
He considered actually looking for a tree as he passed them, maybe to make him feel like he hadn’t wasted the whole day in a place that was kind of shit, but there was no doubt the cook would only complain and decide to pick one out himself anyway. Zoro rolled his eyes as he carried on through the forest of brown. It seemed endless, and he was sure he should have reached the end of the compound by now. And some of these trees... Hadn't he already seen that particularly disfigured one before? He shrugged. Maybe it was just kind of similar. Fucking trees.

 _'Jingle bell jingle bell jingle bell rock...'_  
Growling, Zoro took out his phone. He scowled at the image of the cook lot up on his screen, and he considered completely ignoring it.  
That would mostly likely not help him get out of this god forsaken forest though, so with a sigh he picked up.

"What do you want, shit cook?"

"Have you found Luffy?"

"Luffy?" He frowned. "Wasn't he with you last?" Zoro smirked. "Don't tell me, you got lost?"

There was a snort from the over end. “Hardly. I thought that was _your_ job, moss head. Anyway, I'm in the car. Find that little shit and bring him here, or I'm driving off without you both."

"So you already picked out a tree? What was the point in asking us here if you were just going to do it all yourself anyway? Thanks for wasting my time, dartbrow."

"I did need your help, but thankfully the staff here are a lot better at helping than you two. And you would have only been wasting time at home anyway. Now, go and find Luffy and don't take too long. Oh, and I'm not picking you up if you end up at the other side of the city again." With that the cook hung up, and Zoro gave his phone a dark look. _Shitty cook._

He put his phone away and ducked under a few branches to the next Isle. Hopefully walking along the edge of the rows he would be able to spot Luffy, but then again, common sense didn't seem to work where the other boy was involved.

-

It was another half an hour before Sanji found the trouble makers. Or rather, spotted them.  
Luffy was happily sitting on the moss head's shoulder, twigs and mud caked all over their hair and coats. Zoro seemed to be looking down, face tinted red as a security berated them.

Sanji couldn't help but grin. It looked like the two didn't make their getaway fast enough, stood at the door actually being told off like children. What idiots.

He rolled up to the entrance, stopping just short of the two. He took a drag of his cigarette before beeping. "You two delinquents need a ride?"

For once the green haired man looked relieved to see him - that was until Luffy literally launched himself at the blond. Sanji flinched back, shielding himself from the projectile, but Luffy managed to stop just short of the car. "This place is awesome! Can we come back again? Pleeeeaseee?"

He saw Zoro make a motion across his throat, and the blond smirked. "How about... No."

"But Saaaanjiiiiiii!"

Zoro picked up the boy from where he stood and all but hauled him into the back of the car before joining him. The moss head's face was still red. Sanji wondered what they had done to get themselves kicked out and reprimanded, but he guessed it was probably something he didn't want to know.

"Right, now that that's over, let's get home and get this thing up. And take your coats off, otherwise you're cleaning my car."

He heard the two shimmy out of the offending pieces of clothing, and he set off out of the compound.

"Oi, shit cook. We need to stop off at a shop first."

"And why's that?" Sanji raised an eyebrow.

Zoro looked sheepish. "I promised Luffy a new advent calendar..."

"I found the best tree!" Luffy grinned. "I tried to take it, but-"

"It probably wasn't the best idea," Zoro added hastily, before Luffy cut back in. 

“Zoro made a kid cry and we had to leave…” 

There was a pause, and Sanji looked suspiciously between the two. Nope, still didn't really want to know.


	4. Tinsel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tinsel. Baubles. Christmas trees.
> 
> Zoro doesn't know the first thing about decorating, and trying to help isn't always helpful.

"Luffy, move or I swear to god I will crush you with this tree." Zoro watched as the blond nearly made good of his promise before the shorter boy dodged the incoming piece of forest.

"I just wanna put the tinsel on," Luffy pouted.

Zoro took a few steps backwards after receiving a face full of fir needles, courtesy of the cook. "Hey, watch it will you? Tell me where you're moving it next time, shitty cook."

The blond snorted from behind the fir. "If I tell you to go backwards you'd probably end up behind me somehow. Just pay attention and you'll be fine. Anyway, it's pretty much sorted now. Just pivot, and... Yeah. Looks good to me."

The green haired man shrugged. It was a tree, as long as it was standing up it didn't exactly matter. He opened his mouth to comment, but with the cook being as prickly as the new addition to their living room, it really was not worth the effort. "We done now or what?"

Sanji raised an eyebrow. "Are you an idiot or something? Wait, don't answer that."

"Tinsel!"

"He's right. Moss head, grab the red and the gold out of that box." Zoro grumbled something about the cook being a lazy ass, who shot him a glare from behind the tree.

He decided not to waste time untangling the tinsel; if the shitty cook wanted it separated, he could do it himself. Zoro launched it at the blond, who swiftly ducked and caught it in one hand.

"Stop being so stupid and make yourself useful for once," he growled, throwing the tinsel back in full force. Zoro was getting pretty tired of this whole tree decorating thing already. Well, it was crap from the start but Sanji had that uncanny power of making everything ten times more annoying.

" _You_ stop being so stupid," Zoro retorted, looking for the end of either piece of tinsel. The shitty thing seemed to be stuck in an endless loop, and Zoro was tempted just to rip it in half - that would definitely make it easier to wrap around the crappy tree.

The blond huffed and grabbed the tinsel right back out his hands. "You're a fucking moron, you know that?"

Zoro scowled, shoving the cooks shoulder. "Do it yourself if you're so fucking bothered." He turned around, avoiding the very sparkly, decorated Luffy.

He heard it before he felt it. The cook's shoe slammed into his shoulder, making Zoro stumble. He braced himself against the wall, spinning back around to face the cook. He stepped forwards, about the tell the cook exactly where he could shove his Christmas decorations when-

_Crunch._

Everyone's head snapped around to look at the source of the sound.

Zoro's gulp was audible as he started down at the box of baubles his foot was lodged in. There weren't really any baubles left though, to be honest. Rather... Shards of plastic.

He prepared for another attack, but instead the blond turned and walked silently into the kitchen. Zoro and Luffy gave each other wordless stares. Should they go over to the shitty cook? Zoro didn't particularly care about the stupid decorations, but it was obvious that the cook's patience was wearing thin. The sooner this crap would be over, the better. He unwravelled the tinsel from the younger boy, who caught on what he was doing for once and pulled it over his head. Zoro grabbed at the tinsel, kneeling down and attempting to wrap it around the green branches like they did on on tv. It wasn't long before he started getting frustrated - how the fuck did anyone even get this shit on so even? Thank god he'd never really had to do anything for Christmas before. At least, while he wasn’t a kid. This was way more effort than it was worth.

After the stint with the trees and ruining the decorations the cook would no doubt have to go out and replace, he felt he should at least help. Even slightly. Sanji hadn't been _that_ stressed about anything else while they'd all been living together, so Zoro assumed there was probably a good reason behind doing it all 'properly'. Whatever. Hopefully the worst was over - ignoring Christmas Day, which he had heard many a horror story about. Thankfully that was a while away, so getting this out of the way with for now was probably a good plan. 

Once the Luffy tinsel was around the tree in a vaguely acceptable way, he considered grabbing the other tinsel and having a go at unwravelling it, but. Tinsel was fucking awful. He passed it along to the younger boy to put up, and Zoro slipped into the kitchen. Would the shitty cook accept an apology? Probably not. He could always go out and replace the broken decorations, but chances are they wouldn’t be 'right'. Stupid high strung perfectionist.   
Zoro paused in the doorway, watching as the blond filled his lungs with smoke. And he called _Zoro_ a bad influence, ha.

Zoro opened his mouth to say something - he still wasn't quite sure what, but before he could talk he was interrupted by a loud crashing noise. He noticed the cook's shoulders tense, back still turned away from the doorway and Zoro.

"I'll... Go sort that out," the green haired man grimaced.

Luffy looked up at him with an expression not unlike the one Zoro’s face after crunching the baubles. He shot the boy a sympathetic look, motioning for him to leave before his insides were ripped out and cooked for their Christmas dinner.

Slowly, Zoro hauled the offending piece of forest up, spitting out the green needles pushing their way against his face. Who's idea was it to make the most annoying tree ever the pinnacle of Christmas? There was crap all over the floor from the branches, and all of his hard work on the tinsel - okay, not so much hard work, but his attempts at decorating the tree were pretty much ruined. With a sigh, he unwrapped the tree, starting again from the base up. After that, he moved on to the tinsel that Luffy had managed to untangled before... What did he even do to it? Maybe he tried to tinsel the tree without moving around? Or maybe Luffy, being Luffy had just barreled into the tree, and bam. Whatever he did, Zoro managed to fix it, leaving minimal evidence behind that the tree had even been moved since Sanji placed it, branches and needles aside.

A light shove told him to move as he finished up the tinsel, and the blond began vacuuming where the carpet was covered in green. Maybe he wasn't too mad, if he wasn't making Zoro clean it. Or maybe he didn't trust either of the two to even do this right. Zoro assumed it was probably the latter; everything had kind of... Not gone very well today. Or rather, very obviously not gone Sanji's way. Ransacked chocolate, being kicked out from a stupid tree shop and a messy, horizontal half decorated tree wasn't exactly high on Zoro's 'shit to be bothered about' list, but that seemed to be substantially shorter than Sanji's.

Zoro moved over towards the bauble box. At least if something in there was salvageable, the day might not be ruined, right? He took the biggest pieces of plastic out that looked like they could possibly be whole, but he had no such luck. Why were they in such a small box anyway? If they were less cramped together then maybe he wouldn't have crushed all of them. Besides, it was the stupid cook's fault he was even near them. Zoro sighed; he didn't really have the energy to start a fight right now. He carried the box to the kitchen, leaving it near the bin in case Sanji wanted to keep any of that crap. He'd learned his lesson enough to just let the cook take care of it.

He returned to the living room as the Sanji was finishing up. The tree didn't look half bad to be honest, and the carpet was completely clear of green crap. Zoro flopped onto the sofa feeling redundant, and switched the tv onto some random music channel. Folding his arms behind his head, Zoro shut his eyes. He didn't need to look at a stressed out cook for any longer than necessary.

He still heard movement for another minute or so, before he heard the flick of a lighter.  
"Dinner will be ready in an hour, you best be awake for it, shitty moss head."

Zoro opened an eye, but the cook was already gone. Sanji sounded pretty normal, so maybe he wasn't too mad. If the blond was angry, it was usually pretty obvious. If he was something other than angry, that was a little harder to tell. Considering most things seemed to be resolved, he wasn't too worried.

 

Zoro wasn't sure how long he'd been awake for before he heard the door opening and closing. Usopp greeted him, and Zoro nodded a hello back.

"Place sounds pretty quiet," the artist commented, settling himself down on the other end of the sofa.

"Curly brow's doing food. Think Luffy is upstairs hiding. Or maybe sleeping by the sounds of it. Dunno." Zoro sat up and itched his nose.

Usopp looked questioningly at him. "What does Luffy have to hide for?"

"Uh. Let's just say it's been a long day. And we may have been kicked out of the tree place and then nearly killed our tree. And definitely killed our baubles," he looked away sheepishly. Maybe if the long nose bastard had been here, at least half of that could have been avoided. But no, he had to be all lovey dovey with that Kaya girl. 

Usopp blinked. "Well, that sounds... Eventful. I can definitely see why this place is so quiet. But, it just so happens though, that I, the great artist Usopp-"

" _Here_ we go."

The artist gave him a look. "That I, the great artist Usopp, have the best baubles any one has the great fortune of seeing, right here in my-"

"You what?" Zoro jumped up. "Baubles, gimme."

"Rude," Usopp muttered, pulling a newspaper wrapped pile of crap out of his bag. "Be careful with them, we only just finished them. I would have been home earlier, but Kaya insisted I make some for our tree too, so." 

The larger man tore into them, maybe not being as careful as he could have been, but at least he didn't break anything. Inside were brilliantly painted baubles, and Zoro knew that he must have either talked to Sanji about decorations earlier or he just knew the blond that well, because even Zoro could tell they would go well with the colours of the tinsel.

He grabbed a handful, rushing to get them on the tree. Maybe one at a time would be better; he was having a hard time of pushing them on the branches with only one hand. He placed them gingerly on the floor, before putting a gold one with red swirls onto the branch in front of him. He hung them furiously until he had to restock.

Usopp held the rest of them away from him, cocking an eyebrow. "You're eager to decorate. I thought you hated this 'shitty, nauseating holiday'?"

Zoro just grunted and grabbed for another bauble, but the artist was quicker.

"If you're going to decorate a tree, you can at least do it right. You don't want to piss him off more, do you?" Usopp said with a sly smile. "Don't put the same ones next to each other. You're lucky we only have a few colours to work with. And don't put them all in one place, I don't have enough for literally every branch, so think about it at least, will you?"

Zoro followed him back over to the tree, ignoring his own heated face. How was there even a specific way to stick crap onto a tree anyway? He was attempting to something vaguely nice, and he couldn't even get that right. He watched as Usopp took down a few of the baubles Zoro hung up, rearranging them to the other side of the tree.

He returned to decorating wordlessly, rerouting to another branch every time Usopp cleared his throat. It wasn't too long until they had all of Usopp's baubles up - not quite as many as Sanji formerly had, but it actually didn't look half bad. Zoro had to admit, he was actually kind of proud of their tree.

"You forgot to do the lights first, shit for brains."

Zoro's heart sunk as he fucked up for possibly the millionth time that day, but as the cook sauntered over with a smirk on his face, maybe it wasn't as bad as he thought. Sanji expertly weaved the lights between the baubles, moving just a few out of the way. It was a good job they didn't have more to hang up, otherwise they'd probably be pulling all of them down and starting again.

"Doesn't look too bad," the blond said as he took a step back. 

Zoro considered the look on the blond’s face before deciding it was safe.  
"What happened to food, shit cook?"

Sanji shot him an irritable, yet almost... affectionate look. "Go grab our little tree hugger and it'll be ready in five. Usopp, the table if you don't mind?"

The artist nodded, following the cook back into the kitchen, before popping his head back round the door and giving Zoro a thumbs up and a grin.

Zoro chuckled and headed upstairs. Maybe the day wasn't ruined after all.


	5. Decorations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zoro hates Christmas decorations.

Zoro rolled over, ignoring the stupid Christmas music blaring out of his phone. He really needed to figure out how to change that soon. Until then, ignore.

Today sounded pretty good, spending all day wrapped under his blankets, ignoring the shit cook and his shitty Christmas, but it wasn't long before he heard a thumping and scraping of chairs. Food time, probably. He pushed himself up before Luffy got there first, hitting the 'decline' button on his phone as he sat up. He could wake up on his own, the shitty cook didn't need to be his alarm clock now, too.

He shuffled over to the biggest pile of discarded clothes on the floor, grabbing what felt to be a shirt before throwing it on. He considered actually turning the light on and checking whether it was on right, but it was only breakfast. If Zoro looked as tired as he felt then everyone else could just _deal._

He stumbled out of the door, shielding his eyes from the light. Stupid winter, making him wake up in the dark so that he was practically blinded the moment he left his room.  
As soon as he stepped out, Zoro's head hit something weird, and he recoiled from the shiny gold... crap above his head. He blinked a few times, eyes following the trail of it across the ceiling, down the stairs connecting the hallway and Zoro's attic room. What the fuck was this?

He grunted, holding himself to the side of the stairs so that it stopped attacking him. The cook putting up more decorations would not be a surprise (although it could have been Usopp, but he'd have trouble considering the height) but why were they hanging that low? Maybe the other two could avoid it, but they were just perfect level for hitting both Zoro and Sanji in the face. Although considering it was pretty much only Zoro who used these stairs, maybe that was exactly their function. 

He mumbled something about 'stupid shitty cooks' as he stumbled down the stairs with his head low. It was too early in the morning for this shit.

More shiny crap greeted him as he turned towards the kitchen, garlands lining the wall and ostentatious plastic stars hanging from the ceiling. He couldn't be sure if it was Usopp’s work or Christmas shop crap, but he did know that whoever got up early to do this was fucking crazy. 

The artist was sat at the table, clearing away string and glue and all sorts of unidentifiable things. He was definitely the main culprit, but Zoro was pretty sure he wasn't the only one involved, considering the height one would have to reach to put up the death traps outside him room. Okay, so maybe death trap was a little harsh. Still, that shit was dangerous. Where was that cook, anyway? Zoro was tempted to tell him how stupid his ideas were (even if Zoro was vaguely aware that his brain power versus the cook's brain power wasn't exactly a good match at this time of day), but the blond seemed to have disappeared.

"Where's food?" He grunted instead. Usopp shook his head a he began scrubbing at the glue residue on the table. "Breakfast’s in the fridge. Sanji said that he got called in to the restaurant, something about being double booked and Zeff wanted him to sort it out? So we're on sandwiches. Save some for Luffy."

Zoro frowned as he pulled out a plate of cold sausages, and another of bacon sandwiches. "Why did he call me?"

Usopp scrunched up his face. "How should I know? Did you answer it?"

"No." He sat down, favoring the first bite of what seemed to be a very tasty and quiet morning. He assumed Luffy was still asleep if their personal alarm clock chef was absent. Although if he had called Zoro, maybe he had called Luffy too. But Usopp also had a phone, and he presumably hadn't had a call if he didn't know what Zoro was talking about, so maybe it was just him being tormented with more Christmas music. Great.

The larger man shrugged to himself, content just to finish his breakfast with no extra conversation of thinking involved. He poured himself some juice before setting the jug back down. Something seemed to be blocking it though, and with a frown, Zoro held it back up.

"Why the fuck is there a plant on my orange juice?”

"Okay, first of all that isn't _your_ orange juice," Usopp rolled his eyes. "And second of all, that's holly and you just crushed it."

“Who the hell is holly?" Zoro frowned.

Usopp’s head hit the table in exasperation. "I _swear_ you're no better than Luffy sometimes. It's a plant, associated with Christmas - deck the halls with boughs of holly, yadda yadda yadda - speaking of which, once, I, the great artist Usopp, got into-"

"But why is it on my table?"

"It's not _your_ table! Anyway, it's a popular Christmas decoration, and it makes the table look nice. It'll look even nicer too once the candles are out, so stop your moaning." Usopp took a sip of his coffee before heading to the fridge. "Enjoy the Christmas spirit, Scrooge, it's not like it’s every month. Plus, isn't it nice that we've all worked together to get this place decorated?"

Zoro grunted. He couldn't really say that Luffy had helped all that much, and sticking shiny crap onto surfaces to someone's stupid out of reach standards wasn't exact what he thought of when he thought of fun. How did normal people have the patience for this crap? Because this household was not exactly what he considered as ‘normal’.

He finished his food, leaving the empty plate in the sink to the artist's disdain before heading upstairs. The crappy decorations were bearable, at least. At least the shitty cook wasn't here to enforce any more Cristmassy tasks or whatever, so Zoro could finally have that lazy day he'd been craving.

A short shower later, he returned to his bed room, throwing the curtains open as he did.

The paper snowflakes did nothing to change his mood, nor did the plastic plants - holly - that were pinned to his windowsill. Zoro sighed. He could take them down, but chances are they'd just appear again anyway. Stupid house mates with their stupid festive crap. They could all shove it.

He closed the curtains again, shutting the door and obscuring all light as best as he could before climbing into bed again. It was slightly chilly, and took some shifting before he was able to get comfortable and warm. Sleep was great.

"Zoroooooooooo!"

He groaned, kicking a leg out to dislodge the heavy weight on his bed. The weight dodged, climbing higher on his bed before embracing the Zoro shaped mound.

"Morning! Even if it's not morning. Actually it hasn't been morning for ages now. What are you for the rest of today? I think you should help me decorate my room! I already started, but I can't reach as high and you and Sanji, but Sanji's not here, and anyway, he probably wouldn't let me use the glitter. Whatever!"

Zoro buried his head further into his bed. How had Luffy got his hands on glitter? He knew for a fact that it was banned after last time he attempted to make a birthday card for Usopp. Maybe the artist had a secret stash, or maybe Ace smuggled it in for him. Maybe whoever let Luffy get his hands on glitter needed a good punch.

Zoro slid out of bed, escaping the grasp of Luffy. "I hope you're not going crazy with this. It's like the house is Christmas mad or something." 

"Come on! It's fun! How often do we get to make everything all fun and shiny?”

"I thought that's what you did everyday," Zoro sighed, pushing himself towards the door. He followed Luffy through the low hanging decorations, attempting to avoid the first few before admitting defeat, and letting them whap him in the face. That stupid cook deserved... Well, Zoro didn't know what he deserved, but it was... Something annoying.

Luffy bounced through his open door, not checking to see if the taller man was following.

Zoro slumped his head against the door frame as he spotted all the crap on Luffy's floor. Among the dirty laundry and food packaging and unidentifiable objects was a tub of glitter, glitter glue pens, PVA glue resting on a pack of crayons at a very worrying angle and shit tonnes of paper clippings.

Why? Why was this happening to Zoro? All he wanted was some peace and quiet and not Christmasness. He loved Luffy, but... Ugh.

"Okay, what do you want me to do?" He sighed.

"Help me put this up!" Luffy replied with a grin. He held up a line of vaguely people shaped paper, each holding what was probably the next figure's hand. As he looked closer, he saw that there were faces scribbled on them, and he spotted what looked to be a curly eyebrow on one, and a long nose on the other. That... Was actually kind of cute.

Zoro picked up the tape, the fastest way of sticking the thing up. "You want it up here?"

"Anywhere on the ceiling!"

He shrugged and bit a length of tape off, sticking it onto the paper and repeating until it looked like there was enough to keep it sticky. Even if it looked kind of crap. It appeared to be working, so Zoro grabbed the other length and placed it so that the majority of the figures were hanging slightly lower than his head. He didn't go into Luffy's room too often, so it wouldn't be too annoying. Besides, the kid probably wanted to be able to actually see them. 

Zoro smiled as he noticed the tape every fifth of the way along the line. So that's how it was so long. Luffy had really put some effort into it. He couldn't be _too_ annoyed.

"Nearly done," Luffy grinned. "Lift me up!"

"Why?" 

"Finishing touches!"

Zoro looked at him dubiously, before leaning down to give the boy a piggy back. Luffy jumped on, resting something on Zoro's back as they ascended. He heard a cap open, and a squirt before Luffy wiped his finger over the body of one of the paper figures.

"Luffy, what are you doing?" He turned his head towards the boy. He wasn't doing anything suspicious, right?

"Stay still!" Luffy ordered, putting a hand on Zoro's face to still him. "Oops!" The boy giggled as he removed the hand, glue shiny and wet on Zoro's face. Before the taller man could protest, Luffy had the glitter open, pouring it over the vertical piece of paper.

"Luffy, NO!” Zoro twisted, grabbing at Luffy's arm in an attempt to stop him, but the damage was done. The glitter was all over the carpet, Luffy's hands, and Zoro's face. He gritted his teeth in an attempt to not berate the boy. "Luffy, get down." He did as he was told with a dejected look.

"Sorry. But it would have been fine if you didn't move. Now the glitter’s gone and I only did one person!" He pouted. "I think my hands might be stuck together." Thank god he didn't use super glue.

"Go wash your hands, Luffy," he sighed. Zoro nearly put his face in his hands, stopping before he realised what a mistake that could be. How did Luffy always, without failing, manage to do something like this? He shook his head and turned to walk towards the exit, but Zoro was once again attacked before he could get very far.

His face was obscured by paper and glitter, and with a huff he ripped it off his face.

Well. That's was Luffy's decorations ruined and Zoro's face looking like a preschooler’s piece of work or some shit.

Resigned, he walked down stairs to find the kitchen sink.

He cringed as he heard a key in the door. The blond stepped in, nose and cheeks red and hair windswept. Stupid cook looked like something off one of those cheesy Christmas ads.

Sanji stopped after his first step, eyebrow slowly raising at the sight of his glitter clad housemate.

"Always knew you’d show your true colours one of these days," He smirked, sauntering into the kitchen. Zoro growled, nudging him out of the way before the sink could be occupied for food reasons or Sanji Likes To Be A Shit reasons.

"Luffy's fault, not mine." He wasn't quite sure why he was defending himself; even the cook knew that Zoro would never willingly cover himself in glitter.

"Wait," the blond said, yanking Zoro's face out of the sink and back to eye height. "It's Luffy's fault that you're all glittered up? Luffy has _glitter_?"

"Shit," Zoro muttered. 

"LUFFY!"


	6. Frost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe the world just hates Zoro, and is actually trying to kill him after subjecting him to all the Christmas horrors.

If December was a person, Zoro would gladly punch it in the throat. Really.

Unfortunately, December was not a person, and he would have to deal with it without any threats of violence.

It was cold, but manageably so when Zoro set off. A long bike ride would be nice before he had to deal with the incessant squealing and screeching of bloody Perona. He was mostly helping out for the money; she was a pain, but after a year or two of having to deal with each other while working with that morbid bastard Mihawk, he felt it would be rude to ignore her.

Besides, there would be no doubt that Usopp and Sanji would be splashing out this month of stupid festivities and frivolities. Luffy mostly got money for rent from his grandfather, somehow acquiring more when ever he saw Ace (which hadn't been too recently). Zoro felt he should put a little extra aside just in case, but that was kind of hard without a steady job. He knew enough people that he could be a decent odd jobs guys - lifting, fixing, driving/delivering if he was provided within a car, and so far his luck hadn’t been too bad that he couldn’t (just about) live off that.

Today's job was helping Perona move in her new, hideous, slightly gothic Christmas furniture - fuck knows where she got it from. It could have been worse; her screeching was annoying and her constant redirectioning was bullshit, but it didn't take too long to get the furniture in place. Zoro was pretty quick when it came to heavy lifting, so after a few adjustments nearly everything was ready to go.

She nearly pulled him in to go shopping with her, but through some miracle he managed to avoid it, setting back off home on his bike.

Aaand that's when he noticed the frost. Stupid winter weather. Zoro refused to waste his hard earned cash on public transport, and a bike ride on ice couldn’t be too hard. He'd only go faster, right? It could be a challenge. See how quickly he could get home, back into the warmth, and maybe annoy someone into making him hot food (although that wouldn't exactly be a hard task).

Yeah, Zoro could beat this ice. It'd be pretty poor attempt if he couldn't. He bounced a little, warming himself up before hopping on his bike.

The descent from town to the quieter part he liked to ride in went pretty smooth, and the scenic route he chose to take actually looked quite nice with the god awful frost. He refrained from thinking the word 'Christmassy'.

Before long he was speeding down the hills at an almost breakneck pace. He pulled the handlebars, turning sharply. The bike skidded around the next corner narrowly missing the trees on either side of him. Whatever. That probably looked kind of cool.

He knew he was making good time, even though he was a few miles away still. This was a pretty fun way of riding.

Around the next corner the bike skidded a little too much, and Zoro's turn was less smooth as he intended. The bike juddered and he threw out an arm, catching himself before his head could hit the ground. 

He grunted as he felt a sharp pain in his ankle and disentangled himself from the fallen bike. He accepted riding a bike on the ice might not have been the best idea, but it would have been freaking awesome if he pulled that off. Zoro pulled his bike up, leaning for support as his leg buckled. He sat down again, rotating his ankle a few more times but the pain was still there. He put pressure on it and immediately regretting it. Well, his ankle was fucked.

He thought about his available options; he could cycle through the pain and hope to get home without further injury (ha), he could ring a taxi since he picked the scenic route and no busses seemed to know it existed, but that would be a waste considering he'd have to use a chunk of the money he'd just earned, so the last option was... That damn cook.  
He groaned. Of all the people to ask for help. Stupid cook would probably hold it over for him forever. Still, Zoro could maybe swallow his pride if it meant getting away from this death trap frost and getting somewhere warm.

It took another five minutes for Zoro to get up the motivation to call that annoying bastard.

The cook answered on the third ring, giving a suspicious hello. So maybe Zoro didn't call him (or anyone) often, that was still rude. Well. Zoro could do rude too.

"Oi, shithead. I need a favor."

"And what makes you think I'll do you a favor?" He could just picture the stupid swirly eyebrow raise on the other side.

Zoro gritted his teeth. "Because... Then I'll owe you one," he admitted sorely. Whatever. It couldn't be that bad.

"Well, isn't that interesting. Out with it then, what do you want me to do that your lazy arse can't?"

"I need a ride."

"I thought you were on your bike?"

Zoro glanced over at the hunk of metal and rubber that wouldn't be much use to him for a while now. "I'm not anymore."

There was a pause and a clunk, before the cook returned to the phone. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine." Stupid cook. No need to make such a big deal out of everything. "Just get your shitty car over here." He gave directions as best as he could, ignoring the cook's corrections, as if he knew better than Zoro where he was. Shut up. He was _not_ directionally challenged.

It was another 15 minutes before the cook showed up, shiny blue car pulling up alongside the bike. Zoro pushed himself up on one knee, bracing himself for the next movement he intended. Before he could move, a hand grabbed onto his arm, pulling him up. Sanji pulled the arm around his shoulders, moving to hoist up the rest of Zoro.

"I can walk damn it, stop babying me," he growled. Zoro broke away from the blond, standing and taking a step towards the passenger side of the car before his foot started complaining.

"I'm not babying you, I'm making sure you don't do anything _stupid_ ," the cook rolled his eyes. This time Zoro let the other man support him, thankful that the distance between him and the car was only small. He nearly slipped again, throwing a few choice words at the frost that got him into his situation. It's like December was _trying_ to make him miserable.

The cook left once the larger man was seated, and Zoro heard the boot opening before something heavy was deposited. There was some shuffling before it was slammed shut again and Sanji resurfaced at the driver’s door.

Zoro crossed his arms and looked decidedly out of his window. 

"Mind telling me why you thought cycling home when it's fucking _frozen_ outside would be a good idea?" He shot Zoro a derisive look, before buckling in and starting the car.

"Better than walking," he snapped.

Sanji scoffed. "You're a fucking idiot, moss head. Now, buckle in. Unless you _have_ actually got a death wish?" He challenged.

Zoro huffed, yanking the belt down and smushing it into place. "Shut up. It wasn't like this this morning, it's not like I had any _other_ way planned if getting home. And if you scratched my bike throwing it in there, I'll kill you."

"You probably banged it enough by whatever the fuck you did to end up on your backside."

Zoro pulled a face, shifting in his seat to rest his ankle lightly on his other leg.

"How does it feel?" The cook turned to him. "Have you broken it?"

"I'm fine," Zoro grumbled. 

Sanji sighed. "How much does it hurt?"

"Barely." Which was true; it hurt a little first, but considering he was so freezing from sitting outside on the frozen ground for so long (which probably wasn't good for him either but he wasn't about to point that out) he could barely feel anything, so. It was fine.

"Think you've damaged it, or are you just being a baby?" The other man taunted.

"Oh, fuck off." Zoro nudged his foot with his other, willing himself not to wince. That hurt a little more than expected. "It's _fine_. Probably just twisted a little bit. I don't need you giving me shit for it."

The cook shook his head beside him. "You're such a pain, do you know that? It's not _'just'_ anything when you're the type of person who will make it worse. I do hope you know you might have to keep off that foot for a while."

"What do you care?" Zoro snorted. Like he was going to listen to any shitty advice from the cook. It was just coincidence that that was what Zoro decided he'd do already.

Sanji gave him a strange look. "Well _sorry_ to care about people who obviously don't give a shit about themselves enough that they _need_ me to do it for them. Idiot. You do realize I'll be the one taking you to the hospital, right?"

"Ugh. I don't need you to look after me or to take me to some stupid hospital when it's barely an injury. I don't want your help."

"Except, you _clearly_ rang me up asking for help, so now you don't really have a choice. I'm an all or nothing guy moss head. I don’t just do half a job of things."

Whatever. It's was the cook's choice to waste his time on something that wasn't even a problem. A bit of rest, and Zoro would be fine."Just get me home, shit cook."

He saw the cook shake his head from the corner of his eye, and Zoro stared further out of his window.

-

The ice on his ankle felt nice, and maybe he did need to take a little more care, considering he was beginning to bruise up. It wasn't the worst injury Zoro had before, but it was still pretty uncomfortable. 

The cook slid in to the room, dragging the coffee table over and setting down a platter of sandwiches and a mug of tea.

"I'll be at work over dinner, so I'll leave you something before I go. I still think you should see a doctor soon though. Just in case."

Zoro rolled his eyes, grabbing at the nearest sandwich. "I'm fine. It'll fix itself soon. I don't need you acting like it’s life threatening or anything."

"I'm just concerned," Sanji frowned. "There's no need to be so rude. I could have just left your frozen ass there, you know. I'd have a lot more peace and quiet right now if I did. I'd just rather you didn't go out and injure yourself; Luffy's enough of a handful without me having to keep an eye on you too." He glanced over at the platter in the table. "I think he's at Ace's tonight, said something about meat, so I don't think he'll come back early, but. Keep an eye on your food just in case. I'll get started on dinner an hour or so and leave it here. Can't have you hobbling around if you're just gonna slip and break something worse. I hope you'll think a little more before doing something so stupid next time."

"I didn't _break_ anything. And I'm only gonna be hobbling around when I need a piss anyway, so your great plan to keep me bed bound won't exactly work. Well, couch bound. Whatever." Although food brought right to him was something he could appreciate.

Sanji rolled his eyes. "I'll be in work until around two, but ring me if you need anything and I'll get back to you as soon as possible."

"Sure thing, nurse." He sneered.

The blond huffed before leaving to the kitchen. Zoro smirked in victory. He took a sip from his tea, enjoying the nice change in temperature. The drink was gone quicker than he could appreciate but Zoro drifted off before he could really be too bothered about it. 

-

It was dark when he awoke, curtains drawn and lights turned off. Zoro shifted under the blanket the hadn't been there previously. Hmm. He sat up, moving his legs to the edge before wincing. Crap. He forgot about the whole ankle situation. He paused for a second, thinking before laying his leg back down and adjusting the cushion underneath. If nothing else, it was a good excuse for more sleep. After food.

He mashed a button on his phone, the screen lighting up before using it as a flashlight to explore the table. The previous platter of eaten sandwiches was gone, replaced by what looked like pasta salad. He dug in, savouring the peace and quiet he got to eat in. Maybe he could appreciate things being done for him for just a little while. But just a little; no need to let the cook get carried away.

But still. It was maybe kind of nice of him. Not that Zoro cared.

As he finished up with the food, he wiped his hands roughly on one of the napkins sat next to the plate and paused as a sticky note fell down.

He moved his phone back over the table after his hands were clean, squinting as he struggled to read the cook's writing in the dark.

 _'No moving from the sofa if you have to. Enjoy your excuse to do nothing for now; I'll be working you like a slave to make up for it when you're better.'_ Zoro had half a mind to hobble around and actually make his ankle worse if it meant avoiding that. _'See you in a few hours, dumbass.'_ He snorted as he threw the note back across the table. They’d see who the dumbass was when the cook would be running backwards and forwards for a guy who didn’t even have a real injury.


	7. Christmas Shopping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Franky is obvious and Sanji is oblivious.

Christmas shopping may have been easier on his own, but his blond companion did have some decent opinions and a car to lug everything around in. Usopp wasn't quite sure why Franky was there (or who he was even buying gifts for, since Franky didn’t really do gifts) but it was nice to hang out with him again. Spending time with fewer people at once was a nice change, instead of their whole crazy group of friends doing so much ridiculous shit that anyone barely had time to talk to each other separately. Yeah, this was definitely a welcome.

The Christmas markets were bright, and noisy, and the smells were just, wow, he could really go for eating any of that. _Right_ now. But he refrained; there were things to do after all, and the artist didn't have much time after this for something like shopping; he had a few commissions coming his way, with a little time put aside to work on his children's books. Out of everything he did, that was definitely the most fun. Making up tall tales and finely illustrating them; even if they ended up just as a present and not published, the process of creating one was just so great - and it made Usopp feel like he'd actually achieved something, after every one of them. No longer did he feel so insecure; people appreciated his work, and he knew, at least, that he could consider himself good at what he did.

Now was not the time to give himself a pat on the back though; he'd nearly lost Sanji already as he slipped through the waves of people, but with the blue haired man's large hands on Usopp's shoulders, he was manoeuvred into the right direction. He protested weakly, pointing out that he wasn't Zoro, and no, he didn't need help, Franky, _stop_ , but it was definitely useful as the throng of people got bigger.

He finally managed to spot the blond - mostly because he seemed to have stopped, and yep, there were two women at the counter of the stall in front of him. Usopp could hear the blond spewing complements and pleasantries and everything sickly sweet that seemed to happen whenever there were girls. He rolled his eyes, tempted to pull his housemate away, but Sanji was rifling through the items now, holding something shiny. The artist squinted; jewellery. He rolled his eyes. Of _course_ Sanji would be tempted with something like that, especially if presented to him by two attractive ladies.

"What do you think, Usopp, Franky? Aren't they just delightful?"

"At we talking about the girls or the jewellery? Because I’d rather not comment on one of those," Usopp mumbled. He glanced at the jewellery anyway. It could be a nice gift to buy for someone... someone who he completely wasn't subtly kind of dating. But it would be nicer to think about something like jewellery for a while rather than impulse buying. And besides, Usopp had already finished his gift for that certain person. Really, he would have thought the cook would have more sense than that, but, well, ladies.

"They're pretty cool bro, who you thinking for?" Franky leaned closer, examining the thin silver chains.

"For Nami and Robin, of course! Fine ladies deserve fine jewellery," the blond winked at the giggling girls serving them.

"Uh." Franky cleared his throat. "Would they appreciate it though, what if, uh... They were allergic or something?"

"They're hypoallergenic," the one of the girls gestured towards a sign not far from Franky.

"See! No need to worry!"

Franky still looked uncomfortable. "I don't know, I , um. I don't think Robin likes jewellery..."

Usopp, the master of lies and stories, could see through Franky's protests like looking through a window, and honestly that was a terrible excuse. He was pretty sure this may confirm his suspicions about another maybe dating-maybe not dating couple. Of course, he was a nice guy, so he wouldn't confront the larger man about it, oh no, no confronting needed. He grinned slyly though. He'd definitely keep an eye out on Franky and the dark haired woman in the future.

"I'm sure you could find them something more personal, Sanji. Jewellery can be too easy sometimes, don't you think?" Usopp interjected. Something more personal, like, oh, maybe a 3 foot painting of a scene from a lady's favourite story? Heh.

The other man frowned, looking from the necklaces to the artist and back again. "I suppose you're right. They deserve to have the utmost thought put into their gifts. I'm sure I can find them something just perfect, though; they deserve the best!" He swanned off, leaving Usopp and Franky to struggle through the crowds to catch up. Usopp saw the relieved look on Franky's face as he caught up to the larger guy, and grinned. Yeah, definitely something not so secret going on there. He wondered what Sanji would do when he found out his precious Robin was with someone else. Although, the storyteller was pretty sure that was just an act; he treated women all too similar to have a real interest in just one of them. Usopp shuddered to think what _that_ would look like.

A few more attempts were made at stopping Sanji from splashing out on crap he really didn't want or need, until finally Franky had to actually carry him away from a store selling creepy plastic santas that he certainly did not want in their house, manned by flirty woman with a very low cut top. 

Once out of there, they decided on a break. It was for the best.

The coffee shop they found was busier than Usopp would like, but considering the time of year they were probably lucky there were even seats free. He volunteered to grab their drinks before they could lose the soppy mess they were dragging around with them. Most people would assume that Sanji was the most responsible of the house of four they shared, but as soon as you left him alone near a woman he was like a kid in a candy store. Or Luffy around meat. He caused nearly as much trouble as the younger boy did sometimes, even as much as Zoro and Luffy together, which was definitely saying something. It was times like that Usopp wondered why he even shared a house with these idiots. Not that he could imagine it any other way.

Plus, it wasn't like the artist didn't have other distractions in the form of a very lovely, appreciative woman.

He eventually got back to the table without spilling anything, passing the cola to Franky and placing the other coffee in front of the cook with a very absent look on his face. Usopp sighed. "I thought you said to me this morning, and I quote, "I have so much shitty stuff to do today that I don't have time to get slowed down". Is that right? I'm pretty sure I'm right, but just confirm it for me, will you?" He smirked.

Sanji pulled his gaze away a woman with two very large baubles. "I _am_ getting shit done, thank you very much. And might I remind you that this is the time of the year to be appreciative? And I am _definitely_ feeling very appreciative."

"Bro. You _know_ that's not what it means."

Usopp shook his head at the blue haired man. There was no way of stopping him; Sanji had been like this since the artist had met him, and he seemed beyond help. Although he had only ever known Sanji to be single, so maybe that was why he was so bad. Hopefully. If this sort of behaviour carried on while Sanji was with someone, _well_. Talk about awkward.

They didn't stay for too long, with it getting noisier and busier. There were too many children banging into chairs, one nearly being knocked over by Franky as he pulled his chair out. The child looked terrified at the blue haired man, and they gained a few dirty looks from the other patrons around them.

A lot of the shops were getting repetitive, and to be honest, Usopp was getting a little tired of them. Sanji seemed to have lost some of his enthusiasm, but he seemed to have plenty of crap in his bags already. Usopp wasn't sure he'd seen Franky actually buy anything while they were there, although he always threw in a comment or two when Sanji found something else that could be a good present for their female friends. The artist figured it was probably a nice change though; Franky had spent a lot of time with the Galley-la guys recently, with their commission to make a huge decorative Christmas thing for the town even though that's not what generally what they did. The money must have been pretty good.

Usopp lost the cook again, and even Franky couldn't find him this time. The artist wondered if he should be worried; there were still plenty of women about, which meant plenty of opportunities for the blond to do something extremely stupid. He shoved past a few more people, throwing apologies behind him.

When he finally found the cook, Usopp felt a little stupid. Food. Of _course_ he at the food part. As he leaned closer, he could hear the blond having some sort of debate about bratwurst with a gruff man at the kiosk. Usopp assumed they'd be there for even longer now, but Franky was looking a little bored and Usopp was ready to leave. He turned to motion for the blue haired man and have him help move the blond, but he noticed the faraway look on his face. Well, Usopp could manage fine on his own.

"Come on Sanji, let's get going now. I think we've got pretty much everything we came here for, right?"

"Just a second," Sanji said impatiently, brandishing the bratwurst at the artist, before turning back to the counter.

"Bro, put your sausage away and let's get out of here."

Usopp snickered, but the cook was already ignoring them. When they eventually pulled him away, Sanji had a pile of different German meats and started chattering excited about what he found. Usopp couldn’t really understand what he was talking about, but he humored the cook anyway. It was always nice to see people talking about something they loved.

It seemed to take even longer to push through the crowd of people to get out of the market and anywhere near the car park. It was almost claustrophobic, and people seemed to be getting even ruder. They probably shouldn’t have left it this close to Christmas to visit the markets; it would only get worse from here on out, but at least it was over and done with. Plus, it was a little more Christmas cheer. Might as well.

Usopp paused as he noticed the ice rink sign on the next street over. "Oh, they didn't have this up last year! We should definitely go. Did you know I once won a gold medal for ice skating? Said I was the best skater they'd even seen, Olympic worthy performance. Everyone was asking for my autograph, I was practically famous."

Franky raised a skeptical eyebrow, whereas the cook completely ignored him. He really _did_ have such rude friends.

"So, I should relive my glory days and we should skate at some point. All of us! What do you reckon, guys?"

"You want everyone, including _Luffy_ , to attach blades to their feet?"

"It's not that dangerous, come onnnn. " although the mention of Luffy and blades was vaguely off putting, they could still have one good day without any accidents. Surely. He was sure it had happened before (although no examples came to mind) and it could be fun. But Sanji had a point, maybe they _would_ need to keep an eye on Luffy.

Sanji rolled his eyes, before pausing. "Do you think Robin and Nami would enjoy ice skating? Imagine them, so graceful in the ice! With... Sparkly dresses-"

"I'll come," Franky cut in. "Could be a good time. But I'm not gonna be on Luffy duty, just saying."

"He won't be thaaaat bad." As long as they didn't jinx it, everything would be fine. "It's a plan then! Let us know when you're off work and we'll all go."

Sanji looked thoughtful. "Think moss head will be bothered about not coming, with his ankle? Well, it _would_ serve him right for being so stupid."

"Oh, I didn't think about that," Usopp said, crestfallen. "Maybe he won't mind? I don't know if he's too bothered about ice skating, with it being kind of Christmassy round here. Hey, maybe it hates it even more after the bike thing."

Sanji shrugged. "Fuck it. We'll go whether he wanted to or not, it's not our fault he can't take care of himself. Might have to be next week though."

"Sounds good to me," Franky added. He paused as his phone bleeped, looking up a couple of seconds later. "Hey, mind dropping me off at Robin's on your way home? I, uhhh... Owe her some money. And I should give it back. Today. Yeah?"

Usopp gave him a look that showed just how much the artist believed him.

"Any excuse to see the beautiful Robin is fine by me! Let's get a move on!"

He wasn’t sure if the situation would get more awkward as the couple (presumably) got more serious. Usopp had been _wondering_ when Sanji would end up pissing someone off by flirting with their girlfriend so obviously in front of them, but Franky should understand that it was harmless. Although, yeah, he could see that being uncomfortable, but if Sanji didn’t know about them, there wasn’t much he could do. He suspected that the cook was sharp enough to have noticed by now if not for his infatuation with all women. It really was his biggest downfall.

"Let's not stay long, Sanji. I’m sure you’ll need to get that food in the fridge and I'm sure Luffy will be bouncing around the house waiting for us to get back."

The cook pulled a face. "I guess you're right. Our resident troublemakers probably need feeding again."

Franky gave the artist a relieved grin, and Usopp nodded back. Leave it up to the great Usopp to save the day!


	8. Gingerbread

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas is evil and so is gingerbread.

Having an injured ankle (that may or may not be fine) let Zoro sit on the sidelines as he watched two of his housemates work. Then again, he probably wouldn't have been allowed to help if he wanted to; the cook would say some crap about needing a 'delicate touch' and an 'artistic eye'. Whatever.

It was still pretty interesting to watch. The cooked rolled out perfect rectangles of dough, timing it just so he could switch the new piece of baking out with one just done in the oven, and start on the next batch of dough already.

Usopp had a few sheets of paper next to him, referring back to them every few minutes as he assembled the rectangles into what looked to be walls. There was a couple of smaller rooms made already, the artist working on one bigger one in the centre of the counter.

"Want me to get some smaller bits in the oven or more walls for now? Here, this last lot has cooled down now." The cook handed Usopp the gingerbread, before adding another lot of ingredients into the bowl.

"Uh..." Usopp took a step back, absently stroking his lack of beard as he studied the vaguely house like shape he had going on. "A few more walls, please. I'm thinking of making this place pretty big, maybe a second floor, even a garage, I could use these silver balls as Christmas lights around it!" The artist nodded to himself. "Let's make this a _masterpiece_."

"Sure thing," Sanji chuckled.

Zoro had to admit, it was nice to see both men in their element. He couldn't imagine the planning that went into making the things Usopp did, and Zoro knew if he managed to do that the end product would still come out completely wrong. And the blond was always interesting to watch when cooking. He did it with such finesse that Zoro wasn't sure he hadn't been born knowing how to cook. Not that he watched the blond cook. Often. But it was something he could appreciate.

He looked down at his own large hands. What they good for other than taking care of heavy shit? It would be nice to find that something he was as good at as the two in front of him were. He was pretty decent with his guitar, but it wasn't something he took as seriously at the other two. Maybe at some point in this lifetime. Zoro shrugged. He had plenty of good going on that he didn't need to worry about being a master at anything. 

"Try this." He looked up at the piece of gingerbread shoved in his face. "What is it?” Zoro scowled. “I already ate some of your ginger crap earlier."

"Just try it," the cook rolled his eyes. 

Zoro looked at him skeptically, but took the offered piece. It was usually pretty good when the cook was making something new, so he popped it in his mouth without further complaint.

He chewed for a few minutes. "Tastes just the - oh, _god_. Is there _chilli_ in this?" He looked incredulously at the sly grin on Sanji's face. "You're a fucking nutcase." Still, he made a show of eating all of the offered gingerbread, not breaking eye contact. They'd see who was laughing when Zoro finished it all and the cook's plan to annoy him didn't work.

Except Zoro’s eyes were in danger of watering now, and he was really wishing that glass of milk he had with the first batch of gingerbread was still here. That would be nice. _So_ nice.

"Wow, you seem to be enjoying it." Sanji smirked. "Maybe I should make that for you more often."

"Fuck off," Zoro muttered through a mouthful of evil.

"Walls?" Usopp prompted. The cook turned back to his workspace, checking the temperature of the most recent wall, before handing it off to the artist.

Zoro started to push himself up to find that drink, when he grinned. "Oi, shit cook!" Sanji turned to him with an unamused look.

"What is it, moss for brains?"

"Get me a drink. I'd do it myself, only someone ordered me to rest, _so_. Can't do it." 

Sanji narrowed his eyes, but grabbed the milk anyway and poured a glass.

"Wow, it's even _more_ like having two children in the house like it was before."

"Sorry, _mother_ ," He sneered. He dodged as Sanji aimed a shiny boot at him, but it was easy to see that he didn't put much effort into it. "Do you always try to poison children with that much chilli? Hmm, maybe I should ring the Baratie, let them know their cook is evil and probably shouldn't ever be allowed in a kitchen again."

Sanji snorted. "Right, as if you'd be happy if I never went in a kitchen again. And chilli doesn't poison people, moron, it's not my fault if you can't handle a little heat."

Zoro ignored the sigh from the background as Usopp shook his head at the two of them. Whatever. "I can handle _plenty_ of heat shit cook, but a bit of warning would be nice first."

They fell back into a comfortable silence as the blond went back to his work, and Zoro watched with his glass of milk. He stretched his leg out, tempted to find some other reason to make the cook do his bidding, but nothing came to mind and Zoro did kind of want to see the gingerbread house get finished. 

 

Another twenty minutes, and Usopp had pretty much the whole first floor set up. The icing was still damp, but each wall seemed to support the other very well, and Zoro was impressed.

"You know, I think I'm going to need some more stuff for the decorations; the walls are a little bigger than I was expecting. Not that that's a bad thing," the artist glanced at the cook. "But I might nip out while this is setting, and get started on the next part as soon as I'm back. That sound good?"

"Sure," Sanji nodded. "There's a few walls left here, but I'll get some more on while you're out. Want anything fancy for the roof?"

"Nah. Maybe, hmm, 2 inches shorter? Might not fit the garage underneath, otherwise." The cook got back to his station, and Usopp washed his hands before leaving.

Zoro watched the cook for a little longer. "Why don't you make this sort of artsy food crap more often? You seem to enjoy it."

The blond chuckled. "What I do and what Usopp does is very different. We like our work to be appreciated in very different ways. It is a nice excuse to bake gingerbread again, though."

Zoro leaned back in his chair. "Do you do this every Christmas, then?"

The cook barked out a laugh. "As if. We make the Christmas dinners and do the place up all fancy at the Baratie every year, but that's as far as our Christmas usually goes. Pisses Zeff right off, it's like he has a grudge again Santa Claus or something."

That... maybe of explained why Sanji was putting so much effort in this year. Although if someone’d gone this long without a real Christmas, Zoro didn't really see the point of starting now, but whatever. It meant a lot more food, he supposed. Christmas still sucked though.

"I'm going for a smoke," Sanji announced. "Don't touch anything. Unless something happens. Wait, no, just shout me if anything happens." The cook narrowed his eyes at Zoro, grabbing a cigarette from the half used pack on the table.

Zoro rolled his eyes. Shitty cook didn't trust him with anything. Whatever, maybe he could get some peace and quiet without the blond around.

He closed his eyes. The kitchen chairs weren't the comfiest place for a nap, he knew that, but it was better than nothing. He settled himself in, resting his arms on the table. He was just about comfortably drifting off when he heard a scraping sound.

Zoro opened one eye, hoping he could spot whatever made the noise in front of him. No such luck; he sighed, sitting up, and glanced around the room. His eyes landed on the gingerbread walls, the one closest to him caving in slightly.

Fuck's sake. "Oi, shit cook!" He waited a few moments before shouting louder, but all he got in response was silence. He gritted his teeth, tempted to go outside and drag the cook in and who was untrustworthy _now_ , huh, but that would be a lot more effort than it was worth. Not to mention the fact that he would either get an earful for walking on his sore ankle or Sanji would see that he was fine on it and start making him do work again. Pfft.

Zoro turned to the gingerbread house, threatening to fall apart right in front of him. Why did Usopp have to leave?

He stood up gingerly, rolling his ankle. It didn't feel too bad, so he hobbled over to the gingerbread house. It looked like the rest of the walls were fine, thank fuck. He glanced behind him, both hoping and dreading that the cook would walk through the door right now, but no such luck. He took a deep breath and pulled the wall back by the tip of his finger. It moved easy enough, and Zoro got It back in place before anything worse could happen. _Phew_. He released the breath he was holding and straightened up.  
"Shit," he hissed. Zoro grabbed for the counter as pain shot through his foot. Something crunched, and Zoro winced at the crumbs of gingerbread in his grip.

Stupid fucking Christmas dessert shit and stupid cooks leaving him here to look after this shit and _wow_ was he going to be murdered. He'd just sat there all day, watching as Usopp worked on the house and now Zoro had just gone and crushed it as if it was fucking paper or something.

He dragged a hand through his hair, cursing his luck and the fact that Christmas just wanted everything to fuck up and go wrong.

After a minute or so of self pity, Zoro stood back to see the damage, without removing his hand from the kind of house. Okay, the the front wall was now only half a wall and crumbs and there was also a crack along the left hand wall. Zoro wasn’t entirely sure when it got there.

"Right," he took a slow breath. He slowly released the wall, crumb showering over the counter. Nothing else seemed to move as he did so he assumed that was probably safe for now. Okay. He could fix this. He grabbed an extra wall from the cook’s space on the counter, and placed it gingerly next to the house. The icing sugar wasn't too far away, and he poured a teaspoon of it into the empty half dried bowl that Usopp was formerly using to stick the walls together. He hobbled to the sink before adding a stream of water. Zoro mixed it so that it was arguably smooth enough then as carefully as he could, he pulled the remaining half wall away. It gave some resistance from how it was wedged in at the bottom, but after a few tries he got it out. He dribbled a spoon of icing down each of the empty edges of wall and some down the new unconnected wall for good measure and slid it slowly into place. It stayed, for a second, and he quickly added some icing to the inside of the wall with a crack. If he could fix all of it then maybe it would be fine and there'd be no evidence he was here at all. Or at least if it was all fixed, no one could complain. 

Slowly, the front wall began to slide inwards, stopping 40 degrees away from where it should be. Zoro cursed and poured another teaspoon of icing down the wall, pulling it forwards. It was back in place again, icing dribbling down the front. It didn't look great, but, at least it was better.  
The wall slid down again.

Zoro was beginning to panic now, why wouldn't this shitty house behave?! He flailed as he looked for something, anything that would magically help, but the only choice was tonnes more icing sugar or to run and hide.

He heard footsteps as the cook returned, and he turned with a hysterical look on his face.  
"I was helping! But it's not-"

The cook pinched the bridge of his nose, marching over to inspect the damage. "You _really_ don't know the first thing about anything, do you? Move over, moss head." He sighed, grabbing another wall and putting it next to the not quite house. He frowned at the crumbs and shards of gingerbread. "What _happened_?"

Zoro looked away guiltily. "The wall collapsed, so I fixed it, and then... I crushed it." He eyed the cook, scrutinising his expression. He looked... Less murderous than expected. He guessed this wasn't exactly as bad as breaking their only box of baubles.

"You're a moron, moss head." The blond sighed. "We can fix this. Hopefully Usopp won't be back before then, _but_." He frowned as he picked up the bowl of icing. "How did you expect to stick anything with this? It's practically water! Did you not think to make it a bit thicker?"

Zoro frowned. "I don't make stupid icing often, shit cook, how am _I_ supposed to know?" In face, Zoro was pretty sure he'd never made icing before in his life, but he'd watched Usopp do it all afternoon and it didn't exactly look hard. But no, apparently it _was_.

Sanji gave him an exasperated look. He poured some more powder into the bowl, mixing it smoothly into the watery mixture. He put down the spoon, sliding the walls out with the help of the runny mess Zoro covered it with, and he iced each edge of the remaining walls with the newly thick white icing. He did the same to the new wall in his hands, pushing it into place and smoothing the icing out in the inside with the back of the spoon.

"That should hopefully do it, but it’s obvious it’s not Usopp’s work. We'll see what he says when he's back. Thank god you didn't break the rest of the house."

Zoro scowled. It wasn't his fault it broke in the first place, after that he only tried to help, but _no_ , appreciative wasn't in the cook's vocabulary when it came to Zoro. Whatever. Like he needed the blond's approval.

"Also, why are you up? Sit down, moss for brains, or I'll make you." He glowered at Zoro as he made his way over to the kettle and started busying himself.

"I'd like to see you try," Zoro growled. He hobbled over to his seat, throwing his arm over the table when he was settled. He rested his head on it, watching the cook pull out two mugs.

"Do you want to try a gingerbread hot chocolate? I got some new syrups for the season, although it might be a little too sweet for you."

Zoro barked out a laugh. "Fuck gingerbread. I don't want any of that."

The cook chuckled. After another couple of minutes he placed a mug of tea in front of the larger man, and settled down across the table. "If he asks, there was an incident and we dealt with it as best we could, okay?"

Zoro raised an eyebrow. That almost made it sound like he hadn't fucked up. And like he'd actually had some hand in helping fix it. "I can go with that."

He sat up straighter, warming his hands on the mug. "I did call for you, you know. Before I tried fixing it." _So really, the whole situation is your fault_.

It was Sanji's turn to look sheepish. "Phone call. Sorry." He took a sip from his own mug. "Thanks for trying to help though. At least we fixed it before the rest of the house went down, so. We're good."

Zoro nodded and stared absently into his drink. Maybe the cook wasn't such a dick all of the time. Still fucking annoying though.


	9. Christmas Carols

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Apparently carolers are the one thing about Christmas that this household does hate, but Zoro doesn't see why they have to be so extreme about it.

"Now, does everyone remember the rules?"  
  
"Yes," the housemates chorused.

  
"No lights."  
  
"No noise!"  
  
Zoro sighed as they looked expectantly. "And pretend we're not in at all costs."  
  
“That’s right," Sanji grinned. "Get your stuff and be in the attic in half an hour. Oh, and whatever food I bring up, can you _kindly_ not eat it all straight away, thank you. It's to last all night and I don't want to have to make more and there to even be the slightest chance it looks like we're in."  
  
It seemed like they were going a little far; Zoro hated carollers just as much as the next guy, but hiding out in your own house? Zoro's room, nonetheless. He volunteered just, hey, _ignoring_ them but once Sanji joked about hiding when the first knock happened, a plan was formed and now he had been roped in, hosting the getaway in his own room. Well, at least that meant he was closer to his own bed.   
  
He trudged upstairs as everyone ran about, gathering up all their crap for what sounded like a silent pyjama party. Whatever.  
  
Zoro changed into his sweats and a hoodie, getting as comfortable as possible on top of his bed before he was disturbed by the first housemate. It sounded like this was going to be a long night.  
  
"The great Usopp has arrived! Did you know, I once fought off a whole _horde_ of carolers-"  
  
"Can it," Zoro cranked one eye open.  
  
Usopp huffed, settling a pack of playing cards, a box of candles and what looked to be dominoes on Zoro's bed. He sat up to examine them; they were ... handmade?  
  
"Usopp, you should sell this crap!"  
  
The artist gave him an offended look, pulling his hoard closer to himself. "Well thanks a _lot_ Zoro, it's nice to know what you think of my hard work!"  
  
Zoro sighed, knocking his head against the wall behind him. "I meant you could sell this stuff, to people. It looks professional, I bet you could make cash out of handmade cards and shit."  
  
Usopp's face brightened. "That's... nice of you, thanks. I wouldn't have time though, commissions are fun and all but there'd be so many different pieces and packaging and it would probably cost me more making them than I would  get back. But it's kind of you to say." The artist smiled, releasing the cards from their box and shuffling them absently.  
  
Zoro reclined again in the peace that was left before -  
  
"Zoro's roooooom!" Luffy ran through the open door, practically bouncing off the bed.  
  
"Thank you, captain obvious," owner of said room snorted. Luffy settled in the empty space next to Zoro, resting both elbows on his crossed legs. "What are we doing first? We should do something fun. Like eat. Hey, I thought there was going to be food? Saaaaaaanjiiiiii!"  
  
Zoro winced. He held a hand to his ear and closed his eyes. This could be a looong night.   
  
A minute later, the cook emerged in the hallway, ducking under the stupid decorations in the way and flicking off the light switch to the stairway with a jab of an elbow. "Be quiet, you idiot. No one's supposed to know we're in, which won't work if you're shouting at the top of your lungs." He set a tin foiled plate on the bed, dropping the other snacks in his other hand near Usopp and putting the cartons held under his arm on the side table next to Zoro. He paused for a second before moving them to the windowsill, and closing the curtains behind them.  
  
He looked at Usopp and the artist passed him a few candles from his box like they had some weird psychic conversation going on. Zoro lived with some weirdass guys.  
  
The cook placed the candles instead next to Zoro, pulling out his lighter and making the room unnecessarily light. He strolled over to the main switch, turning the light off and leaving them lin candle light before taking his place next to the cartons and leaning on the window sill.  
"You best be careful, moss head. I'm pretty sure the carolers would figure it out if there was an idiot on fire, even if we _are_ up here."  
  
Zoro made a face at the shitty cook, but moved over anyway. Luffy was nearly leaning over him, but so long as he wasn't shouting in Zoro's ear again, it couldn't be that bad.  
  
They finally settled into a calm game of cards, taking up a corner of the bed each before Zoro itched to stretch his legs, pushing into Sanji's space and causing a fight that nearly threatened their candles. They eventually stopped, the cook retreating to his place at the windowsill.   
  
Usopp and Luffy proceeded to have a quieter game of dominoes, the hyper boy's face drawn in concentration as he tried to remember the rules every time it was his turn. The shitty cook was watching quietly, perched with his arms folded. Zoro considered finding something to bait him with, but the peace wasn't too bad, and they _were_ supposed to be quiet after all.   
  
He settled back onto his arms properly, crossing his legs. Well, if they had to be quiet, might as well.  
  
-  
  
Zoro felt something cold on his nose, and looked up to see a hand hovering over his face. The object fell, sliding down his cheek, and the man frowned.  
  
"He's awake!"  
  
Zoro tilted his head and was presented with the sight of Luffy leaning over him, hand full of coins. Further away was Sanji and what looked to be a small house of cards on the green haired man's chest, and further down on his stomach was what looked to be a Jenga tower of tea lights, the artist hovering awkwardly above it.   
  
"What," he deadpanned.   
  
"You were asleep!" Luffy grinned.  
  
The cook rolled his eyes. "I think he probably knows _that_. Then again, with moss for brains I suppose it could have been a surprise."  
  
Zoro huffed, removing his arms from behind his head and pushing himself into an upright position. The cards and candles fell, much to Sanji and Usopp's dismay.  
  
"Again, _what_?"  
  
"Buckaroo," Luffy whispered, face inches from the taller man's. Zoro shook his head and yawned. They really were freaking weird.  
  
"Just how bored are you guys to... Use me for Buckaroo?" He raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Pretty bored," Usopp admitted. "No one can think of any good games and people are still knocking so we still have a while to go."  
  
Zoro shook his head. "It's only carolers. I still don't see why you can't just ignore them like any other normal people."  
  
"Because this is fun," Luffy chimed in.  
  
The cook scoffed. "Just because the door isn't open doesn't mean they won't sing. Zeff had to threaten some with his wooden leg once to to get them too stop. early made good on that threat, too. That... Wasn't pretty."  
  
Zoro shrugged. "Doesn't mean we can't threaten them too if we need to."  
  
"Um, yeah, let's not threaten people for enjoying Christmas," Usopp suggested.  
  
"Whatever." Zoro shifted, nearly knocking a lit candle over. "Well, got anything else planned to do? Because sitting here doing nothing feels kind of stupid."  
  
"Right, because that's not what you do _every_ night." The cook smirked. He grabbed the cartons from the sill and glasses that came from nowhere and perched on the edge of Zoro's bed. The larger man frowned as more of his space was taken up. That wasn't exactly fair.  
He threw his legs over the cook's folded ones, challenging expression on his face. The cook simply gave him a bored look before distributing the glasses. He awkwardly twisted to grab the plate from the floor, presumably hidden from Luffy while the green haired man was asleep. Probably for the best.  
  
"May as well eat since you're all a bunch of attention starved children."  
  
"Hey, I resent that," Usopp pouted. He realised what he was doing at Sanji's raised eyebrow, and pulled his lip back in.  
  
Zoro shook his head. "Just give us our food already, shit cook. If I have to spend the evening with you invading my room then I think I deserve that at least."  
  
The cook scoffed. He passed out paper plates before removing the tinfoil from the plate in front of them, revealing chicken legs and potato salad and stuff that was pretty much amazing cold. Food in bed; maybe having everyone holed up in his room for a while was kind of worth it.  
  
Zoro ignored the chatter as he ate, attempting to grab what he could before Luffy could swallow it all. They were met with a disapproving look from the cook who pulled the plate away and began serving food equally on everyone's plates.  
  
  
They all settled back into their places once the food was done with. As Zoro reclined, his attention was drawn to the cook fidgeting with his lighter, clicking it on and off. He then moved to flipping it, long fingers expertly catching it every time until it almost looked like rehearsed choreography. The other two housemates were chatting away quietly, the words dinosaur and catapult popping up, so Zoro focused his attention on the lighter for a little longer.  
  
"Enjoying the show?" The blond smirked.  
  
Zoro shot him a glare. "You made me have fuck all to do for the night so the least you can do is give me something decent to watch."  
  
"It's not exactly my fault if you can't entertain yourself," the cook rolled his eyes. He sauntered over, taking his place back in the corner of the bed and picking up the cards. Zoro grunted, lifting his legs to settle on the blond's knees again. He was _not_ giving up his bed space.  
  
"How about we play higher or lower; you guess right, you win a snack. You don't, then you lose a snack, or just don't get one. That keep you entertained for a little while?"  
  
Zoro shrugged. He didn't have time to actually reply before Luffy was throwing himself away from his conversation with Usopp and at the two older men. "I wanna play!"  
  
The artist sighed, but shifted over to face the group anyway.  
  
It killed a decent amount of time, with Zoro and Usopp slowly winning and loosing snacks, and Luffy somehow managing win all the snacks in the end. The green haired man would have assumed it was a fix, or not for the fact that would Sanji was more for sharing than trying to fill up one human vacuum.  
  
They played a couple more games, allowing the other two to win a few bags of snacks back, before Luffy got impatient and tore into his food. Zoro shrugged and joined him; if the games were over now, might as well. The room was quiet again with only the sounds of Zoro, Usopp and Luffy chewing. The cook was messing with his lighter again and Zoro realised they hadn't played any games where the dealer could win snacks. He frowned before chucking a bag of dried fruit at the blond; Zoro wasn't too bothered about eating them anyway.  
  
Sanji looked up in surprise, catching the bag in one hand. He nodded at the larger man before digging into his own packet.  
  
Zoro sat bored when he was finished, watching as Sanji ordered Luffy to wash his hands as quietly as possibly in the upstairs bathroom. Something about not trusting his grubby little hands and how the cook would make the younger boy clean the bedding if he got it messy. Except that Luffy still hadn't actually touched the washing machine all while he'd lived here and Zoro suspected he probably never would, so that was probably an empty threat.  
  
Usopp dodged away from Luffy's sticky hands on his way out before taking the livelier boys place. The artist grabbed a small sketchbook from his box of crap and, stealing a lit candle, began to draw.  
  
Zoro shifted his legs to give the artist room, wincing as his ankle twinged. It was substantially less painful than before - like he said, it was barely an injury - but it still hadn't healed, and at this point it was just an annoyance.  
  
The cook frowned above him, yanking down a sock and examining Zoro's foot. The larger man yelped in complaint, pulling back as the cook's icy hand wrapped around his ankle. The blond's grip was firm, and Sanji gave him a warning look before carefully turning it over in his hand. "Doesn't look too bad now. I still don't want you riding your bike though if it's giving you trouble."  
  
"Whatever," Zoro rolled his eyes. He hissed as the cook pressed down harder, rubbing the area just under his ankle. " _What_ do you think you're doing?"  
  
"Shut up and relax," Sanji ordered, and for once the green haired man did what he was told. It was still vaguely painful, but it actually felt good as he watched the cook work his way over Zoro's whole foot. Maybe he needed to get injuries more often if this was what it resulted in.  
  
Not that he _wanted_ any massages from the cook. But. It did feel kind of nice.  
  
Usopp offered to go and check on Luffy since the younger boy still wasn't back, and he flashed the two a look that Zoro couldn't decipher. He shrugged and ignored it, closing his eyes as his foot was attended to.  
  
After another minute or so, the welcome pressure stopped, and his legs were placed back on the bed as the cook slid away. Zoro popped open one eye, watching as the cook returned to his window perch and looked outside.  
  
"Luffy's asleep," Usopp informed them, climbing back up Zoro's stairs. "I'm not sure how he got distracted, but he's in bed. Well, _on_ his bed anyway. Also I could hear some really loud knocking when I was on the landing downstairs. it didn't really sound like carolers, but I guess they could have been very enthusiastic ones," he shrugged.  
  
Zoro and Sanji gave each other a look, before the green haired man lifted himself off the bed and, gingerly rolling his foot, made his way over to the door. The cook followed after, nudging Zoro to move who in turn gestured to Usopp for them all to retreat downstairs.  
  
The cook pushed Zoro's head down, and Zoro was about to complain and push him back when he remembered about the low hanging decorations above him. Every single time he managed to forget about them, and every single time he managed to nearly get caught up in them and fall down the stairs. He was betting that the cook was regretting putting them up right about now.  
  
As they got further down the house, Zoro heard the knocking, and the artist was right; that really did sound a little too loud and insistent and for your average caroler. He considered grabbing something he could use as a weapon, just in case, but it must have been obvious as Sanji pushed his way in front of him and shook his head. They stayed silent as they made their way through the living room. The knocking was ten times louder now and there was no way this was carolers. It sounded like the police, or someone really fucking pissed off. Zoro was hoping for none of those options.  
  
Usopp crept to the window attempting to see who it may have been through the gap in the curtains, but he had no such look. The artist padded back behind Zoro, and they stood waiting as Sanji silently fished out his keys.   
  
The lock clicked, and the cook opened the door to reveal an extremely frozen looking Ace.  
  
"Shit, what happened to you?" Zoro raised an eyebrow. The older boy pushed his way through the door, throwing himself on their sofa.  
  
"Does no one answer their damn _phones_ in this household?"  
  
The three looked at each other.  
  
"We had them all on silent," Usopp said apologetically. "We were trying to be quiet, and... avoid letting carolers... hear... us." It definitely sounded like a stupid plan when he put it that was.  
  
"Well, I'm pretty sure I saw _no_ carolers every time I knocked, so great plan guys. _Thanks_."  
  
The cook moved back past his housemates, throwing the blanket they kept in the cupboards at the older boy. "Tea?"  
  
" _Please_ ," Ace sighed.  
  
"What made you need us to open the door so badly?" Zoro frowned. It must have seemed like they weren't in - they did a pretty good job of hiding out if he did say so himself, so anyone else probably would have just left before now.  
  
"I left my keys and phone here when I was hanging out with Luffy earlier, and since Marco's away this week, I couldn't get into _my_ house. I called Luffy before I came over but I didn't get any answer. I assumed at least one of you would have been here to let me in." He gave them an unamused look before pulling the blanket around his shoulders and wandering in to the kitcben. "You got anything to eat or what? I've been freezing my balls off out there all night, I-"  
  
"Coming right up," Sanji interjected, and Zoro heard the clink of ceramic that must have been the tea. "Oi, morons, get your arses in here." The other two housemates did as they were told, slipping into their respective seats at the table. Zoro hummed appreciatively as he picked up another mug of tea in front of him, and saw Usopp do the same with what looked to be hot chocolate.  
  
"So, you were the carolers after all?" Usopp laughed nervously.  
  
Ace shot him a sullen look and the artist shut up. "Who the hell hides from carolers anyway? Couldn't you just, I don't know, _ignored_ them?"  
  
"That's what I said!" Zoro said smugly.  
  
Sanji sighed at he set a plate of sandwiches in the middle of the table before returning to a pan at the stove. "Sooner or later someone would have snapped though. I've seen what too many carolers can do to a man, and it isn't pretty."  
  
"Yeah, well, have you seen what a pissed off, frozen guy can do to a man? Because, let me tell you, _that_ is definitely not pretty."  
  
Usopp gulped.


	10. Snow

It was snowing. Of everything to happen,  _snow._ Admittedly it wasn't the most surprising thing in December but of all the things to make the month worse, this shitty weather had to make the whole house fucking freezing. Zoro had to turn to his duvet and Sanji's hot drinks more often than he'd liked to admit just to keep warm. The other man had been more than happy to oblige, but not without throwing a few insults here and there about Zoro's tolerance and if he needed some warm milk to help him sleep next. The green haired man noticed the cook's own attempts to keep warm with extra layers though, with vests obvious under his shirts and the occasional sweater vest thrown on top.  _Hypocrite._  
  
Zoro managed to avoid the snow as best he could for the next few days, getting lifts directly to and from where he was going from (again, courtesy of the cook and he really needed to stop depending on him for this kind of crap) then hibernating as soon as he got in, mostly food and toilet breaks pulling him out of his room.  
  
As always with his housemates, that couldn't last forever and it wasn't long until Zoro was dragged out into the freezing cold. He was forced to wrap up to the point where he could barely move, but everyone else looked as ridiculous as him so it wasn't all bad. Luffy kind of looked like a huge ball of red wool, with just a head and feet popping out. Zoro wondered if he could get away with rolling him down a hill and seeing just how far he got, but there was a risk of losing his hot drink or car privileges if that was the case, and yeah, no. He'd it save until the snow was gone and he wouldn't be bitched out for riding his bike (although with the snow gone Luffy would be harder to roll, so... maybe not).  
  
He trudged out behind his housemates, pulling his coat tighter around himself. Last year wasn't this bad. Then again, last year he'd stayed to do some work on Mihawk's stupid manor and that was much more south, so it kind of made sense.  
  
It wasn't long until they got out to the field near their house, empty apart from footprints of dogs and dog walkers. Zoro wandered further out, marvelling at how much nothing he could see. The sky nearly blended into the snow, disturbed only by his steamy breath in front of him.  
  
Something barreled into Zoro, and before he could attempt to say anything through the mouthful of snow he acquired, a painfully loud voice shouted into his ear.

"SNOW ANGELS! Come  _on,_  Zoro!"  
  
He felt Luffy's weight lift off him, and Zoro sighed. He couldn't even appreciate the snow for one minute. Not that it deserved appreciating but it wasn’t _all_  bad when it wasn’t doing things to make Zoro’s life uncomfortable.

  
His face was freezing, but it felt like more effort than it was worth to get up right now. Besides, all of his layers felt cushiony underneath him and apart from the freezing temperature it was actually pretty comfortable.  
  
"I think you killed him, Luffy."  
  
"Stupid moss head's probably asleep," the cook snorted. Zoro was tempted kicking a leg out and hope it would hit the smug bastard, but he would look extremely silly flailing at nothing if the blond wasn’t there. It was probably best not to.  
  
Zoro huffed as he pushed himself up, dusting snow off of his face and gloves before flicking the remnants on the blond who dodged and kicked a substantially bigger amount at him in return.   
  
"Aww," Luffy pouted. "You didn't make a snow angel."  
  
"Yeah, _Zoro_ , you didn't make a snow angel," Sanji smirked.   
  
He was about to retaliate when Luffy gave him a dejected look that looked so wrong on the boy’s face.  Zoro sighed.

"Fine. I'm not doing it first though."  
  
"That's fine," Luffy brightened up. He threw himself down before his sentence was even finished and began vigorously waving his limbs in the snow. He looked more childlike than usual, and that was saying a lot. It was kind of cute. But only because it was Luffy.   
  
The red clad boy definitely left an imprint in the snow, but wow, he must have really been able to stretch his limbs because the ends of his arm imprints and leg imprints weren't that far apart. It was definitely... An interesting shape.  
  
Zoro noticed the boy turn to him, ready to speak.

  
"I bet Usopp could make a great snow angel," he quickly cut in. Luffy bounced in excitement as he launched himself at their curly haired housemate, hair half hidden under a large wooly hat.  
  
"You know, I once fought off a whole horde of vampires with a snow angel I made. They were so scared of its awesomeness - it was huge, and it's holy power just made them go poof! Melted right into the snow."  
  
"What vampires are _you_ thinking of," Zoro muttered but Usopp was already shuffling into place.  
  
He had to admit, it was actually a pretty perfectly shaped snow angel. It looked like the pendants or the typical angels you'd find on a Christmas tree and Zoro had to commend his flailing skills.  
  
"Well, looks like it's moss for brains’ turn," Sanji said merrily, stand a way aways as if that would put off the inevitable.

"Don't think you're getting out of this," Zoro growled. The blond held up his hands, shooting everyone an innocent look.  
  
"I was only reminding you that you said you'd do it. Can't have you backing out on something you promised to Luffy."  
  
Zoro folded his arms. "I'm not doing _shit u_ ntil you do it."  
  
"I never said I'd do it, so that's not exactly fair, shit head."  
  
"Luffy, don't you think that Sanji should have a go too?" He gave a frozen grin to the instigator who nearly bounced out of his layers in excitement.  
  
The shitty cook sighed. His own fault for piping up in the first place.

  
He walked over to the group of snow angels and their creators. The cook leaned in towards the snow as if he was actually going to do it before catching his ankle around Zoro's uninjured one and the larger man went down like a ton of bricks. Was knocking him in the snow a thing today or what?  
  
 _"Oops,_ Zoro tripped. Might as well make a snow angel while you're already down there, moss head."  
  
Zoro scowled, aiming a heel at the Sanji’s shin. The blond nimbly dodged it, smirking a few metres away.

"What would you have done if I fell awkwardly on my ankle and made it worse?" He snapped. Zoro wasn't worried about that in the slightest, but it made the cook's face fall slightly, which was a victory. Kind of.  
  
"Well you didn't, _did you_ , you shitty bastard. Just make your snow angel before I make you."  
  
" _I'll_ fucking make _you_ -"  
  
"Just make the snow angel," Usopp sighed. "We'll be here all day otherwise. Sanji _will_  make one after you, so just get it over and done with. Please.”  
  
Grumbling, Zoro lay flat again and swept his limbs out. This felt awkward as fuck with people watching him and snow was melting into his scarf making it really fucking uncomfortable.  
  
"There," he mumbled. Zoro brushed himself off before yanking the cook's scarf and propelling him towards the space next to his angel.  
  
"I can get there myself, thank you very much," the cook scowled, but he still hesitated. Zoro considered 'helping' like the blond did to him but in one smooth movement Sanji was lying down, his arms and legs looking fucking graceful as he made just one set of movements and pulled himself up.

"Happy now?"  
  
Zoro pulled a face. The cook didn't even have the courtesy to look stupid while making snow angels, that was fucking unfair.  
  
"Wowwww! They look awesome!"

Zoro raised an eyebrow as he reviewed their creations. The first shape was almost unidentifiable. The second was the perfect snow angel, and his looked too clumsy and big in comparison. The last one was a better shape than Zoro’s, but with the length of the cook's legs and the lack of bulk from layers that the other Angels had, it looked strangely elongated. Still, the blond took a picture of the four indents and Zoro raised an eyebrow.  
  
"What?" Sanji defended. "It's our first Christmas together, you can't stop me from documenting it."  
  
"Didn't say anything," Zoro held his hands up, imitating the cook's earlier stance. The blond pulled a face, before pulling out a cigarette and lighting it.

He felt a tug on his coat before he could say anything else. "Do you wanna build a snowman?"  
  
Zoro turned to Luffy. The younger boy grinned, and Zoro couldn't deny him with that excitement on his face. "Sure, let's build a snowman." He trudged over to the ball of snow Usopp was already rolling, and listened to the artist’s instructions as he ordered Zoro to make the head. It was a pretty relaxing task actually; he had a lot more luck with it than most things this month. The snowman wasn't perfect, but acceptable as the trio stepped back and admired it.   
  
Zoro turned as he heard a shutter go off. The cook pocketed his phone as the green haired man approached.  
  
"I don't see _you_  enjoying the snow when you're the one who pulled us out here."  
  
"I _am_  enjoying it," Sanji frowned. "I don't have to make a snow man or snow angels to be enjoying myself." Because standing there taking pictures was _all_  the fun in the world.  
  
"Stop being, weird shit cook, and come and join us." Zoro turned, but before he could get far, he felt something icy on the back of his neck, and shivered as snow trickled down his neck.  
  
"Do I look like I'm enjoying myself _now_?" He could all but hear the smirk in the cook's voice, and Zoro spun around to a face full of snow.  
  
"You evil little-"  
  
"What's that? I can't hear you over the sound of being a _loser_!"  
  
Zoro growled and picked up a lump of snow. He compacted it as much as possible before launching it at the blond. Sanji raised an arm just in time to avoid it hitting his face, but his blue sleeve was left stained with snow.

"Oh, it's _on_."  
  
There were snowballs flying everywhere before Zoro found shelter behind the snowman and began piling snow around. He made a stack of projectiles as he dodged the ones flying over the barrier, and it wasn't long before Luffy was helping him build ice balls. Both threw them with raw power that looked like it really stung when the cook or artist who joined him got hit. Luffy and Zoro got hit more often though as Usopp's aim was scarily accurate even when they barely popped their head over the barrier. Both teams seemed to be in a kind of stalemate, and Zoro decided it was time to pull out the big guns; he grabbed the pile of snowballs he already had, and started smushing them together.  
  
" _Mega_  snowball?” Luffy whispered, excitement apparent in his voice.  
  
"Mega snowball," Zoro nodded. They were hit by more snow even as they had their heads down, and Zoro patted their snowball to make it extra firm.   
  
"Luffy, you run left with the leftovers, get their attention on you and I'll go for it." He doubted a distraction would work, but it was always worth a try.  
  
"I want to throw the _big_  snowball, though."  
  
"Yeah, but _look_ , you can barely hold it, your hands are kind of tiny.” Compared to Zoro's own, anyway. Luffy eventually relented, and Zoro prepared to catapult the giant snowball as the other boy ran out. He took a deep breath and launched it at his two targets who were foolishly standing close to each other. He saw the cook's eyes widen before roughly tackling the artist out of the way. Zoro was disappointed as it narrowly missed, although it did spray a bit of snow on the two when it crumbled not far from them.  
  
“That’s fucking dangerous, you idiots!" The blond yelled. "And what was _that_? Come out and fight me like a man instead of using your shitty dirty tricks! That's not a snowball!" He dodged as a turret of snowballs flew his way courtesy of Luffy, catching the last few along his side.  
  
"Fine!" Zoro yelled back, grabbing handfuls of their barricade before compacting them and launching them. The first one met Sanji's head on, and both snowballs fell in a flurry of white. Zoro was vaguely impressed that they'd managed to do that even by accident. He ducked again to grab a snowball, peeking out and feeling snow just graze past his hair.   
  
Zoro popped up from behind the shortened barrier that just about covered his crouching form as quickly as he could. He heard a sharp yelp as his snowball hit his target, and Zoro snickered. He was nearly done with his next snowball when he heard footsteps, and suddenly snow sprayed everywhere as a something heavy hurtled into him.  
  
"You're still hiding, I thought you said you were going to face me like a man?"  
  
Zoro brushed the snow out of his face as he looked up at the blond pinning him down. He received another face full of powder before closing his eyes and grabbing hold the cook to flip him over. He pushed Sanji roughly into the snow, grabbing a handful of evil weather and shoving it down the slimmer man's scarf. He heard a gasp, and Sanji began kicking at him. _This_  was more like it.  
Zoro moved a knee to pin at least one leg down, but the shift in weight gave the blond the momentum he needed to roll and push the green haired man underneath him. Zoro shuddered as he inhaled snow that rained on him from the cook’s scarf. His whole face was beginning to freeze now - in fact, most of his body was as snow infiltrated every gap in his clothing, and Zoro scowled. As nice as it was to have a fight with Sanji without the other worrying about his ankle again, this needed to end soon. It was fucking freezing.  
  
Zoro ignored the next wave of snow in his face and the leg kicking at his own. He grabbed the cook's scarf, throwing his whole body at the one in front of him, toppling them back over so that the Sanji was on his back. He noticed how rosy the blond’s cheeks were, and even with his hair out of place from the fight, he still looked like something from a Christmas advert or something. Stupid cook, still didn’t even have the grace to look as dishevelled as he should after tumbling around in the snow.  
  
With Zoro's whole body on top of him there wasn't much Sanji could do to move, especially considering how much more he weighed than him. The bigger man grinned.  
  
" _This_ good enough for you?" He bit.  
  
Sanji raised an eyebrow. "Depends, this good enough for _you_?" He smirked, but there was something in his expression that Zoro couldn’t quite read.  
  
He frowned as he tried to work out what the cook meant, grasp faltering slightly. The blond flicked another wave of snow at him before Zoro could open his mouth, and as he recovered the cook threw him off, hauling himself up and dusting the snow off his coat. He lit another cigarette, taking a drag before turning back to Zoro, slumped in the snow. "Don't take too long getting back in. I'm making drinks and I'm not going to reheat yours if you get lost."  
  
Zoro made a face, pushing himself up from the ground and tearing his scarf off, attempting to shake off any leftover snow so that he could be marginally less uncomfortable. Whatever. Just because the cook was being weird, didn’t mean he hadn't won. He'd clearly had the upper hand there. Zoro wiped himself down. Usopp and Luffy were nowhere to be seen, and hecouldn't tell if they were inside already or just buried in the snow; it could probably go either way with them two. Still, he saw no movement in any of the snow, and he retreated inside before the tips of his ears fell off.   
  
His mind flashed back to the cook's stupid rosy cheeks as he tried to figure out what the cook was saying. Was he just saying anything to get the last word in, or what? Zoro grumbled as he reached the door, releasing himself from his layers and flopping into a chair. He could hear the younger two in the living room, and the cook gestured towards the doorway as Zoro looked over, before carrying steaming mugs in. He reluctantly got up, grabbing the other two mugs and following him. Whatever; for now he could just defrost, relax, and not worry about any stupid pink cheeked blond.


	11. Hot Chocolate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hot drinks are great in winter.

Luffy nearly knocked over the hot drinks as soon as Zoro carried them in. He released the mug to the younger boy cautiously, but Luffy managed to keep it from spilling as he bounced back over to the sofa. Luffy commandeered the remote, flicking the TV onto some kind of stand up comedy show before anyone could protest.  
  
Zoro couldn't particularly concentrate on anything other than warming up, so without complaining he flopped himself down on the sofa, propping his legs up on the coffee table. The cook shot him a disapproving look and Zoro smirked. Sanji yanked the coffee table closer to the sofa as he set his hot chocolate down and crossed his legs. Usopp sat on the end, one arm thrown over the edge of the sofa, chin resting on top.  
  
They watched the TV in silence for a while (minus the occasional chuckle), sipping drinks and enjoying the fact that they were no longer freezing. Though hot chocolate would not have usually been Zoro’s drink of choice, it was slightly less sweet than usual and Zoro realised there was some coffee in there as well. He gave the cook an appreciative nod, while keeping his eyes trained on the TV . It was nice to live with someone who understood your tastes, but he didn't want the cook to get a big head about it. He was already up himself enough, no need to make it worse. The sofa shifted next to him as a mug clinked down on the table and he caught the cook shivering from the corner of his eye. Zoro frowned.  
  
"Where's that blanked we had out when Ace was here?"  
  
Luffy nearly knocked the mug out of Zoro's hand once again as he jumped up, grabbing the piece of material from down his side of the sofa.  
  
"Here," he grinned triumphantly, throwing it at the green haired man, but not before claiming a corner of it for himself. Zoro threw the blanket over himself and the other two beside him. He nodded at Sanji to pull the artist under it too.  
  
The blanket was stretched pretty thin as both younger boys pulled a corner over themselves, and he could hear Luffy getting frustrated as he kept having to cover himself.  
Zoro shifted himself closer to the black haired boy, and noticing what he was doing, the blond followed suit, dragging Usopp behind him who tried desperately to cling to the arm of the sofa. He eventually relented, sighing and laying his head on the cook's shoulder instead.  
  
Zoro felt him chuckle more than he heard it, and he cook shifted to lean more on Zoro, giving Usopp the angle he needed to get cosy.  
  
The green haired man grumbled quietly about it, but he was actual quite comfortable with the warm weight resting on him. He was having to lean slightly on Luffy himself now, but the younger boy kept shifting and Zoro received more than a few elbows in his ribs. No one commented as they all settled down together. He enjoyed the peace and the fact that their strange friendships let them do something like this without any comments. Before long Zoro felt himself drifting off.

 

  
  
He was awoke by the smell of food, and Zoro let out a particularly loud yawn. It took him a second to realize that the weights on either side of him were missing. Luffy was sat now with his back against the arm of the sofa, legs draped over Zoro's own and the empty space next to him. No prizes for guessing where the cook was.  
  
"How long has as it been?" He asked the artist sat back at the end of the sofa, sketching.  
  
Usopp rubbed his chin with the end of his pencil. "An hour and a half?"  
  
The green haired man stretched, taking his legs off the table in an attempt to get some feeling back in them. He adjusted Luffy's legs where they were making Zoro's feel almost dead, and he settled back down. He could comfortably sit here all night. It was still vaguely chilly, and right now the blanket felt like the most perfect thing in the world.  
  
He heard the sound of ceramics hitting the counter, and he commended himself on his sense of timing. Waking up just as food was ready? Perfect.  
  
He ignored Sanji's shout for someone to help him with the plates. Zoro saw the artist shake his head from the corner of his eyes before moving, and a couple of minutes later the less lazy housemates returned from the kitchen.  
  
"Oh, _finally_ awake now, sleeping beauty? You better not make a mess, or you're getting a boot to the face. Just saying." The cook settled Luffy and Zoro's plates on the coffee table before handing out cutlery and setting himself down to accept a plate from Usopp.  
  
Zoro shifted again as Luffy settled into a new position and the cook took up the space Zoro had been enjoying.  Sanji kicked the blanket off to the displeasure of everyone else on the sofa, before threatening them with the task of cleaning said blanket if it got dirty. That shut the housemates up, and Zoro enjoyed the meal with minimum snark thrown his way. It was lovely and warm, which made up for how cold he was now that he was uncovered. It was then that he noticed everyone seemed to have another layer of clothing on, and he regretted not thinking about that earlier. The temperature was pretty much perfect under blanket though, so he couldn't complain too much.  
  
The cook collected their plates when everyone was finished, and Zoro decided to wait a while before reaching for the blanket again. He was feeling very full, slightly warmer, and even sleepier after the meal. He was pretty lucky to get meals made for him. Zoro noticed this was at least the fifth time he'd had that same thought this month, and he hummed as he realised how much everyone took care of each other in this house. It was nice. Not to say that it couldn't be fucking annoying, but he was lucky. Ugh, his was the sort of sappy crap people always talked about at Christmas, and he was irritated at the season once again. What was it about the holiday that managed to make them people so soft? Whatever. It wasn't as if he would ever say any of that stuff out loud anyway.  
  
He listened to the clattering of the washing up, having lost interest in the comedy shows on the TV long ago. They weren't particularly funny anyway, and he was pretty sure he'd seen them before whenever Luffy had the remote. He closed his eyes, paying more attention to the sounds of water and clanging cutlery and let himself relax.

 

  
  
When he woke up for a second time, the cook was settling back down onto the sofa, and Zoro could feel the heat from both Sanji and Luffy's mugs on either side of him.  
  
"Sorry," the cook said quietly. "I didn't realize you were asleep. _Again._ Drink on the table of you want it."  
  
Zoro sleepily reached for the object, pulling the warmth closer to his chest. He was freezing without the blanket, so he savored his hot chocolate even though having two in one day was a bit too much sugar for him. He wondered what happened to the caffeine in his earlier coffee flavored hot chocolate, but he couldn't tell if it had been decaf or if he was really that tired that his body just... Ignored it. Either way, the warm drink was exactly what he needed right now. He mumbled a thanks and pulled the blanket back over himself. He offered a corner to the cook and Sanji budged up next to him, wrapping the corner around himself now that Usopp wasn't taking up the end of the blanket. When had the artist left? He craned his head over the blond to see if Usopp was sat on the floor sketching or assembling something as usual.  
  
"If you're looking for Usopp, he's not in. Left to go to Kaya's not that long ago." The cook smiled. "Must be nice for him."

  
Zoro grunted noncommittally. Having a secret girlfriend sounded like a pain more than anyway, considering how much Usopp tried and failed to be subtle about it. 

  
He nudged the mugs to the end of the table with a foot, earning himself a glare from the cook, and he threw his legs back up. Much better. He slid the remote from the youngest boy’s grip, realizing that Luffy was already asleep after being watered and fed. That explained why it was so quiet, then. He turned the channel to some stupid game show involving obstacles and water and people making a fool of themselves. Zoro snorted as a guy missed a jump that he himself could so easily make blindfolded. Half of the people on there almost looked like they were being terrible on purpose, and he chuckled as one ran headfirst into one of the foam obstacles, bouncing off like something from a cartoon.  
  
He felt the cook shiver beside him, and Zoro looked to his right to see him pull the blanket tighter over himself. It began to slide off Luffy, and Zoro muttered something about 'cruelty to children'. Sanji gave him a sour look and relinquished the blanket, crossing his arms tightly across his chest in what looked like an attempt to stop shivering. They really should look into some better heating.  
  
"Come here, shit cook, and stop fussing." He grabbed at the woolly sweater and the cook moved along with it, his shoulder pressed against Zoro's. Sanji pulled the blanket tightly around himself again, this time leaving enough to cover Luffy with. The extra body heat and soft wool against Zoro was a lot more comfortable, and it was almost worth having to spend more time next to the blond. Almost. No doubt he'd find some way to piss Zoro off and make him regret not just hibernating in his own room. Right now Zoro was sleepy enough to ignore the cook, and settled into the warmth. For what seemed like the millionth time today, Zoro drifted off.

 

  
  
Something tickled his nose, and Zoro stifled the urge to sneeze. He opened one eye, slowly becoming aware of the blond hair against his jaw. He scowled; he wasn't a damn _pillow_.  
  
He considered just pushing the cook off the sofa, but figured that was just a little too rude. Besides, his hair was soft and Zoro was warm and comfortable.   
Not that he would admit that to anyone.  
  
He noticed that Luffy too had disappeared, and carefully he pulled the empty part of blanket around his other shoulder. The blond stirred at his movement and Zoro paused.  
  
"Is it time to open up already?" The cook mumbled, before a blue eye slowly opened. "Oh. Sorry, must have fallen asleep, didn't..."  
  
Zoro shrugged turning his head towards the TV but not really focusing. "'S fine. Warm.'  
  
The cook chuckled. It felt weird against his side and Zoro was acutely aware of how uncomfortable his arms were. "You're fucking boney," he complained, attempting to shift into a more comfortable position.  
  
"Sorry," the cook mumbled again. Zoro was almost disappointed; he _must_ have been tired if he wasn't taking up the excuse to argue with the green haired man man.  
  
Zoro frowned; he wasn't sure how much sleep the blond got with his late shifts at the Baratie and insistence on cooking for most of the meals that the housemates ate. Zoro was actually surprised that the cook didn't nap more often. Probably some crap to do with pride and routine or something.  
  
"Come here," he mumbled, sighing as he prepared himself to do something that he wouldn't have considered, if not for the the fact that he felt he owed the cook (just a little) for all of his small fuck ups this month.   
  
He hooked an arm hesitantly around the cook's shoulder, tugging him closer. Sanji looked at him in surprise, before pressing slightly against him.  
"You don't have to do that," the blond mumbled.  
  
He was still feeling lethargic enough that he knew he still didn't want to move for a while, and this could be as warm as it got. "Just get comfy and shut up," he grumbled. And by shut up, _don't breathe a word of this to anyone._  
  
The cook hesitantly shifted, leaning his shoulder more on the larger man's chest than his side. Sanji moved his long legs on to the table - which he could no longer reprimand Zoro for doing now that he's done it himself - and shuffled so that his head was resting on Zoro's shoulder.  
  
Doing this felt extremely weird, but it felt good having a solid weight against him and soft hair to rest his chin on. Maybe he could get used to this - if it was anyone else but the one insufferable person who really knew how to push his buttons. Stupid cook would probably hold it over him or use this against him; there was no way he was content to do this just for the sake of being warm. Probably.

Zoro abandoned that train of thought, deciding to enjoy it while he could. This definitely beat spending a fortune on heating or wearing layers of itchy woolly clothing; it was practical, and efficient, and that _definitely_ wasn't an excuse to do it again.


	12. Ice Skating

"Today... Is the day." Usopp stood proudly, in a overly large sweater that looked all kinds of ridiculous.  
  
"Are you really that excited about it?" Sanji raised an eyebrow.   
  
Usopp gave him a scandalised face. "Of course I am! Did I not tell you my Olympic worthy story? I-"  
  
"Yeah yeah, master skater, whatever. " he sighed. "Really think we'll be able to handle Luffy on ice?" Handling Luffy was a concern wherever they were going, but as he was technically an adult now they probably should be relying on him to take care of himself... but, _Luffy_. To be fair, he hadn't been as bad in the last few months, until he was with the green haired man at least, and all hell broke loose once again. Sanji was sure he shouldn't be having this kind of problem with a group of adults, but he knew what he was getting into when he agreed to live with the group. His own fault.  
  
"I'm sure he'll be fine." The artist’s voice didn't hold the same confidence his face did. "What damage could he do with ice... and blades..."  
  
"Not helping." He considered who else they hadn't asked who could possibly help out in case the younger boy got out of hand, since Usopp was obviously intent of enjoying this rather than keeping an eye on anyone, and Zoro was more of an enabler than a handler, if he could even make it. Franky dropped out last minute, and the beautiful Robin and Nami already had plans, and insisted they were fully booked for the month (such a shame). He briefly considered asking Ace since he kind of had more responsibility for the boy than him, but it was possible that could end in much more disaster than Luffy on his own. Chopper was in university today but wasn't the best choice to handle that much energy, and that was pretty much everyone they could ask on such short notice. Sanji really hoped Luffy behaved today; it would be nice if it all went well. The month had already improved, considering the... incidents they'd had the week or two before.  
  
"I'm sure we'll manage," he shrugged. "Mind setting the table? I'm going to wake those two lazy arses up." He moved out of the way of the other guy, wondering which to tackle first.  Waking Luffy first wouldn’t give him a chance to make sure all food was accounted for, so with a smirk he pulled out his phone, pulling up his contact list and clicking one with the contact picture of a Christmas tree. He knew that the moss head still hadn't changed his ringtones back, as evidenced yesterday when Perona tried ringing him and his phone blared out _Last Christmas._ Zoro hadn’t found that funny.  
  
Sanji's  first call was ignored, but it was reasonable to assume that the moss head was now awake. He could go up and double check and _really_ wake him up, but slow torture by Christmas music was a much better option. He called again, hearing a click on the seventh ring.  
  
"Fuck off," a low voice grumbled into his ear.  
  
" _Someone_ 's in a good mood today," Sanji said with exaggerated cheer in his voice.  
  
He heard an irritated groan. "Food?"  
  
"No, I just called you up to chat. Obviously. Because you're such a _great_ conversationalist. Grab Luffy on your way down, will you?"  
  
He rolled his eyes at the grunt on the other end, and hung up. It was quite a good strategy; wake Zoro up by annoying him, and getting him to wake up the other boy. Sanji could guard the food all the while, and already start the day knowing that he got to the green haired man before the green haired man could get to him. Victory all around.  
  
He would have to find a new annoying song in January though; even he wasn't evil enough to give the moss head the pain of Christmas songs all year round, but he'd have to do it before Zoro got annoyed enough to figure out how to change it himself.  
  
Sanji finished up in the kitchen, plating and serving everything that needed doing. He poured out mugs of coffee - another hot chocolate for Luffy, because everyone knew how it went when _he_ had caffeine.   
Usopp was already sat back in his place, pausing as he waited for the other housemates. If only everyone else was that polite.  
  
The black haired boy bounced into the kitchen vibrating with energy already. How he did that, Sanji would never understand. Zoro shuffled in after him, scraping a chair along the floor before sitting down. The cook gave his chair a light kick for that dreadful noise, and the moss head looked back unimpressed.  
  
Breakfast was largely uneventful compared to their usual craziness.  
  
"So... Luffy, have you ever been ice skating?" _Please say you hate it. Do us this one favor._  
  
"Yeah! Gramps took me and Ace one time, and now I go nearly every year. It's so fun!”  
  
Sanji cringed. "Well, good. We're going ice skating today."  
  
"Whaaaaat?" Luffy grinned, necking his hot chocolate. "That's great!" He bounced away with unnatural energy, and the cook shook his head.  
  
"Where are we going?" Zoro asked through a mouthful of food.  
  
"Rink up at the Christmas markets. I'm not too sure if you should be skating on that ankle though." He had trouble imagining the moss head on ice sore ankle or not.  
  
Zoro rolled his eyes. "I'm _fine_. It wasn't even that bad to begin with. I'm good."  
  
Sanji scowled, jerking his foot up to give the other man’s a light nudge.  
  
"Well _that_ was uncalled for." Zoro kicked back, and Sanji caught it square in the shin. He cursed before getting up. Might as well leave it before a full on fight broke out. It had been a while since the last one, but it was always nice to blow off some steam. Not right now, though.  
  
"Just checking to see if you were lying." At the lack of response other than offence, he figured the other guy was probably telling the truth. He considered mentioning the fact that someone should probably be on Luffy duty, except the cook had seen the many times that Zoro had failed at that, and, yeah. No.

He gathered up the empty plates and mugs and began the morning clean up routine.   
  
"Thanks for your faith in me, really. You should feel bad."  
  
Sanji snorted. "Go get ready, idiot. We don't have all day." He turned to see the reclining moss head who looked like he had plans to do anything but. The artist has disappeared already and was he getting sneakier or what?  
  
"Whatever."  
  
He watched as the other man finally left, and Sanji finished up the dishes in peace. He appreciated his last bit of peace before they left to do something possibly disastrous, and the fact that he thought that before doing  _anything_ with his friends made the blond chuckle. Only this household.  
  
It took some sorting out to make sure that people were adequately layered, Nevermind how much they could 'whether any weather'. Not that they looked as bad as when they were out in the snow, so no one had any cause to complain. Apart from the lack of gloves. Well, they could suck it up and deal, or not go at all.

There were the usual shotgun arguments, the artist winning the seat by simply slipping into the car and ignoring the whole conversation, to other other boys' annoyance. Sanji smirked and got in himself. Maybe it was all of the sneaking around to see Kaya that made the curly haired man a lot quieter. The artist had stopped being too subtle recently and usually just mentioned that he was seeing Kaya with no further explanation, but old habits died hard he supposed.  
  
He got buckled in, checking that the others had before starting up the car. Sanji scowled as he felt a long leg kick his chair. It was the green haired man's fault in the first place for sitting behind him; he was not relinquishing his own leg space to make room for the stupid moss head, and as driver Sanji got priority anyway.  
  
He flicked on some Christmas music in retaliation, and felt a second harder kick.  
"If you don't stop, I _will_ find a way to play this crap at you for every minute of your waking and sleeping life."  
  
"So you admit that this is crap?" The other man smirked behind him.  
  
"Of course it's crap, but it's Christmas crap so it doesn't count. Now, stop acting like a child before you put me off driving." They all knew that wasn't likely to happen, but the other man relinquished for long enough for them to pull into the nearly full car park, and with some difficulty they made their way over to the ice rink.  
  
It took a bit to get Luffy strapped in, even if he had been skating as much as he said. Sanji got his boots on with ease but stood up shakily; this felt a lot different to how he remembered. To be fair, the last time he went was when he was 14 with Zeff and, well. The younger Sanji had plenty of distraction in the form of beautiful women, and maybe it hadn't gone too well. Now though, he had the power of self control (at least, that's what he told himself). He made his way over to the rink entrance, _so_ not clinging onto the lockers along the wall as he tried to get his footing. Not being able to feel the ground was a lot more awkward than it should have been, and he wished that the ice skates felt at least a little more like boots; maybe then at least it wouldn't be so awkward.  
  
"Having trouble there?" He heard a smug voice from behind him. Before Sanji had time to turn around and face the moss head, Luffy shot past, nearly knocking him over and flying into the ice. He had surprisingly good balance, although the speed he was going at was.. a little worrying. Sanji had bigger problems right now though. The artist was the next to enter the ice, disappearing into the crowd already.  
  
Sanji swallowed as he pulled himself to the edge. It was easy. Look at how easily the younger two boys did this, of course he could manage. He took a tentative step forwards. When his foot was solidly on the ice he pulled himself forwards to stand fully. The blond let out a breath he hadn’t realised he was holding. Without warning, his left leg slid forwards, and a firm arm pulled him back before he had time to fall flat on his ass.  
  
"Stupid cook, you took us here and you can't even skate?"  
  
Sanji huffed, keep his himself facing forwards and ignoring his heated cheeks. "I _can_ skate. I've done it before. I just need to... readjust."

He pulled away from the bigger man's grip and took a breath, putting one foot in front of the other. He was wobbly as fuck, and it was only a few steps before he had to grab on to the edge on the rink in frustration. It wasn't supposed to be this hard.  
  
"Try to keep your feet flat," Zoro suggested, sliding to a halt in front of him. "Don't get carried away." He faced the cook, moving slowly backwards and gesturing him to follow.  
  
"I _am_ doing," Sanji growled and damn it, why did the moss head find it easier than him? Who knew that giving him a couple of blades suddenly made him good at something.  
  
Sanji pulled himself along by the barrier along the wall, tentatively sliding forwards. His skates kept going in different directions, and if he didn't already know that he could do the splits quite easily, he would be kind of worried.  
  
Growling, he stomped his feet back together. Before he knew it, he was lurching forwards, and he only just managed to grab back on to the railing. He heard a pair of skates stop just short of him, and felt an arm under his free before he could sink down.  
  
"Looks like we found your weakness," Zoro smirked and the cook was almost tempted to kick him right there and then. Thankfully he didn't.  
  
"I've done this before, I can _manage_." Still, he let the other man pull him up, and Sanji huffed. He could do this.  
  
He snatched his arm back, taking longer strides in an attempt to imitate the fucking graceful way the moss head had been skating in front of him and _damn_ it that was unfair.  
  
He traveled a lot further this time, his legs keeping a lot straighter but after a few more seconds he felt himself losing balance, and shit, he could not actually remember how to stop. He grabbed on to the railing again and slowed his feet as best as he could.  
  
Okay. That was definitely better.  
  
Zoro pulled up next to him once again. "Put your feet together. Like this." Sanji glanced at the man's feet, attempting to imprint the image in his mind for next time. He would get this. "That was better that time. Seriously though, did you really expect to be able to skate? Because it looks like you haven't done this ever."  
  
Sanji felt his face heat up. He wasn't about to admit how many years exactly it had been, but.. He just assumed it was like riding a bike; it just comes back to you naturally. Apparently he was wrong.  
  
"It didn't take me long to get it last time and it won't take me long again. Go and skate, moss head, leave me to it." The last person he needed to see him fall flat on his arse was  _Zoro_.  
  
Zoro looked uncertain, before his face fell back into his default stupid expression. "Whatever. Just don't come crying to me when you're covered in bruises because you couldn't figure it out on your own." He was so, so tempted to give the other man a kick right now. Luckily Zoro listened for once, giving Sanji a chance to try and move again without being watched.  
  
He pulled himself up straight, positioning himself how he was before. His ankle buckled a little. Sanji ignored it and began to move again, attempting to keep his movements as he did when he actually moved. It worked for longer, albeit with a few near fails. He even got cocky enough to wander from the barrier, which was a big mistake. Someone brushed past him, and Sanji didn't have a chance to readjust as he slipped.

He was definitely going to be sore for a while.   
  
Getting himself back up was much harder when he didn't already have a hand on the barrier, and he didn't trust himself when it came to pushing up off the floor and attempting to balance on the thin blades of his skates. He considered calling for one of the people working there skating around, but that would be embarrassing. Then again, just sitting here flat on his arse would _also_ be very embarrassing.  
  
"Sanji! You okay?" Luffy came from nowhere, skidding to a halt and nearly taking the cook's fingers off.  
  
The cook scowled, but it was a little harder to be embarrassed in front of the younger boy. "I need some help," he grumbled, kneeling up before Luffy hauled his arm up.  
  
"Are you having some trouble?"  
  
"Forgot how to skate." He made sure to hold onto the wall again, and he'd do this if he had to until he could finally skate properly. If he got the legs down at least, it couldn't be too bad.  
  
"Aww man," Luffy pouted. "I'd help but I don't know how to explain it. It's just easy. Why don't you ask Zoro? We come here every year, he knows what he's doing. I bet _he_ could help."  
  
That explained a lot. Really though, out of everyone, who would have thought that the green headed man and the hyper little monkey of a boy would be decent ice skaters? It made no sense, and Sanji was unsure if he could relinquish his sense of pride for long enough to ask _him_ for help, especially after already making a fool of himself. He may be getting along with the other guy slightly better, but admitting weakness was still something that was a touchy subject with them.  
  
"I'm fine. But thank you." Sanji ran a hand through his hair, looking at how far he still had to go to manage one lap around the whole rink. The answer was quite a lot, and he had no idea how many times the rest of his housemates had made it round by now. Not that it was a competition. Although a bit of showing off would kind of maybe be tempting if he could; a little ego boost never hurt.  
Unfortunately, his ego was probably getting as bruised as his backside and Sanji wasn't sure how much of that damage could be undone right now.  
  
Luffy shrugged. "Well, if you need help again just shout. I’ll find you." He sent the blond a brilliant grin and shot back off.  
  
Sanji shook his head fondly before getting back to the matter at hand. He knew at least that he could manage a small distance although he still hadn't quite mastered stopping, but staying glued to the wall should at least help him stay upright. He moved again, taking slower steps. It wasn't quite as fun as the accidental speeds he got to earlier, but he was moving, and Sanji wasn't feeling too scared of falling.  
  
Before long he got harassed by a parent and two small children, children who also needed the use of the wall. The woman with them was stunning though, and Sanji melted at her smile; yes, of course he would move out of the way for them. He took a step to the side, sharply clicking his legs together as Zoro said. He stopped, but his balance was slipping and _wow_ he really hoped they moved really fucking soon. They were taking forever just to navigate that one stretch of wall and was that how bad he looked doing this? Except ten times worse because he was an obviously in shape adult and by Sanji's standards, should have been able to do it perfectly.  
  
He managed to stay upright a little longer, correcting his balance, but Sanji realised he actually had no idea how to start skating from this, not without a wall there to support him. He wondered about his chances of getting back to the wall without injury, and honestly it didn't look too good considering how much he could barely balance still. The only way might have been forwards, but he was feeling considerably less confident with every second that he swayed.  
  
"You look fucking stupid like that." Zoro pulled smoothly up beside him. Damn it.  
  
"Well _you_ look fucking stupid all the time, so."  
  
The  green haired rolled his eyes, and grabbed Sanji's arm. The blond moved to pull away slightly, but the larger man didn't relinquish his grip and maybe he was actually helping the whole balance situation. Whatever.  
  
"Maybe you need to try being on the ice. Like, properly; not just stick paranoid to the wall, shit cook."  
  
"What do  _you_ know," Sanji shot back, despite that fact that moss head clearly knew more right now.  
  
Zoro sighed. "Well, considering I know that you’ll be ten times more annoying when we're home if you don't get this right, can you at least let me take you around the ring? Just once, see if you feel any better in the ice or not. Plus, I don’t want to leave you here so you can break some bones and I can’t get a ride anywhere anymore." He was so sweet, really. Sanji had half a mind to put salt in his coffee tomorrow.

Zoro’s suggestion sounded absolutely terrifying with nothing but the moss head to stop him from falling, but his chance of falling otherwise was just as high.

"Unless, of course, you're too chicken."  
  
Oh, it was _on_. "Fine. Just don't let me fall, moron."  
  
"No promises," the other man grinned. "Hold on to my arm and don't trip me up. If you can keep to that, we're good."  
  
"Whatever," Sanji snorted. Still, he put his arm through the other man's, clinging a little more than may admittedly be necessary. He didn’t care what this looked like right now, not if it helped.  
  
They started off nice and slow, and he felt quite steady on his feet. They slowly picked up speed and Sanji struggled a little more with keeping his feet in line, but it wasn't too bad. It was actually... Kind of fun. He had to grip the others man's arm even tighter once or twice, wary of falling, but they got halfway around the ring and it was pretty fucking great.   
  
They turned the corner - slightly awkwardly on Sanji's part, but he recovered, feeling much more confident.

"I'm letting go," he said to more himself than the the other man. Zoro opened his mouth to speak but Sanji already untangled himself and took a few more cocky steps forwards. He was doing it! He was flying forwards, and he was barely wobbly, and yes, this is what he remembered. The green haired man caught up, skating along him, and, what was that? He was smiling. Only slightly, but he still caught it. He felt his cheeks heat up; stupid moss head.   
  
He dodged an incoming child and got back on his path rather shakily and before long he was nearing the corner. Wait... Maybe he had got a bit of ahead of himself because how the fuck did you turn a corner? He hadn’t exactly done much work the last time.  
  
He swerved, narrowly missing the edge, and Sanji flailed as he failed to stand back up straight. He felt himself slipping, and the cook reached out towards where he could feel the other man skating. His hand hit something solid and he grabbed on for dear life, nails digging into what he now realised to be the other man's hand. He nearly dragged the green haired man down as well, but he was pulled up in time to carry on moving.  
  
"If you needed your hand holding while you skate, you should have said," Zoro smirked, but still he helped the blond up. Thank fuck he hadn't fallen, because being helped up by the other man would have been even more annoying. Not that this whole situation wasn’t embarrassing enough.  
  
"Shut up."  
  
"You did okay there," Zoro offered. He waited while Sanji completely straightened up and got his balance back, before skating again and picking up speed.  
  
Sanji noticed that he was still gripping the other man's hand rather tightly - in fact, it looked like it was going white. Sanji loosened his grip, but the other man wrapped his own fingers tightly around the cook's before he could move them away, leading him on a straighter path further from the wall. They continued like that for a few laps, with nothing but a few wobbles, and he even forgot to be embarrassed as the crossed past Usopp and Luffy a couple of times. The cook would be lying if he said he wasn't starting to enjoy this Maybe the moss head wasn't so bad after all.


	13. Pie

  
For some reason, Zoro just couldn't get to sleep for most of the night, and he was thoroughly irritated as he sat there as 6am with the realisation that it just was not going to happen. Strange, considering how easily he could usually fall asleep at any time anywhere. _Maybe_ it was the weird thoughts floating around his head. Well, he could always try again. He picked up his guitar for a few minutes, hoping maybe a few soft chords would help him relax, but he was still too tired. Zoro sighed, getting up to take a shower. Might as well start the day. All he was doing right now was wasting time which wasn't all bad, but he wasn't even wasting time enjoying himself.  
  
He shuffled into the kitchen, picturing the most strong, perfect coffee he could possibly get when he noticed the cook. Was he always up this early?

Sanji turned, surprised. “Moss head?”

“Curly brow,” he rolled his eyes. “What are you doing?”

“Baking.” Sanji gestured at everything he had out on the counter

“At this time of the day?” Zoro took a seat.

“It’s relaxing. Unlike running around a stupid shitty restaurant having to sort out other peoples’ incompetence and recooking things for shitty customers because ‘that’s not how it _usually_ tastes here’,” the cook muttered.

"So... You're making a pie. Because you're stressed at your job, which is cooking things. Am I getting that right?" Zoro raised an eyebrow.  
  
"I'm not- ugh." Sanji paused, pinching of the bridge of his nose. "I'm just tired, that's all."  
  
"Which is why you're up _early_ , baking?"  
  
"I'm baking so that you all have something decent to eat," he snapped. Sanji sighed, flicking on the coffee machine and pulling down two mugs. "Sorry. Cooking just... Makes me feel better. That's all. We had some new kids working last night, said they had a couple of years experience each but they didn't fucking act like it. I know it was a lot of work for one of their first days, but ugh. We don't have time for incompetence. I _told_ Zeff it was more trouble than it was worth hiring newbies at Christmas."  
  
"They'll get better. I'm sure _you_ were pretty shit when you started out," Zoro smirked. Maybe he could bait the other guy into a fight, release a bit of tension that was keeping him from sleep. Not that he particularly thought of the other guy as quick way of releasing tension. Except, it did pretty much work like that. But he was already relying on the cook enough right now, with the weather and trying to avoid another not-injury to his ankle, _and_ the food, so he didn’t to add 'stress-reliever' to that list. Ugh.  
  
Sanji scoffed. _"I_  didn't start out at Christmas, and we were a much smaller place, so that's completely fucking different." Zoro heard the mugs clinking as the other man prepared the coffee, and he stifled a yawn when he remembered what a god awful time of the day he was up.  
  
"Did I ever tell you about that time I was so proud of the soup that I made that I insisted on bringing it out to the customer myself? Well, I wasn't used to carrying a heavy bowl of hot, boiling liquid. Dropped it everywhere, half way there. Stained my only pair of work clothes, nearly gave myself burns, and I was so embarrassed that I refused to soup for another three months after that."  
  
"So you've always been a fucking idiot then," Zoro grinned. He eagerly reached the mug of coffee in the cook's hand, before said cook pulled it sharply away.  
  
"Considering how much of an idiot you've managed to be in _just_ the last month, I'd say you have no room to talk, moss head." He finally placed the coffee down and wow was that _hot_ but so _good,_ why has it taken so long to have coffee already?  
  
Sanji frowned. "Slow down, I'm not taking you to the hospital for burning your whole throat out." He sat across from the other man, gently holding his own mug between his hands. "Why are you up so early anyway? I didn't think you'd ever heard of this time of the day. You're much less cranky than I thought you'd be."  
  
Zoro shrugged. "Just woke up early. Couldn't get back to sleep." Completely not because he had been thinking about how it something had changed and he had been considerably less hostile with a certain annoying blond fucker in the last few weeks, no not at all. "Thought I might as well just get up. Coffee. How come _you_ didn’t just sleep longer if you had such a late shift?" He challenged.  
  
Sanji chuckled. "Body clock mostly. Drilled into me from when I used to work early shifts, there's no way I can get out of it now. Might as well, gives me time to sort out what I'm doing today and get started on breakfast for you lazy slobs." He took a sip of his slightly cooled drink. "I thought you could drop asleep just like that. You know, like a _child_."  
  
Zoro scoffed. "Better than not sleeping at all and looking as pale as a vampire."

Sanji was about to argue when Zoro cut him off. "So why pies?"  
  
The blond looked confused for a second. "Oh. Don't know, just felt like making something festive."  
  
"That's not festive. That's all year round goodness, don't ruin it with your festive, Christmassy crap. Pie is _pie_."  
  
The blond took a longer sip of his drink before shaking his head. "You  _are_ an idiot. Anyway, it's another thing I haven't had the chance to make for a while, so why not. Give you all something a bit different. Plus, I need something that takes concentration."  
  
"Why?" Zoro frowned.  
  
" _So_ , I don't have to get annoyed at stupid employees and thoughts and putting up with idiots like you."  
  
He rolled his eyes, but Zoro noticed the word thrown in the middle of there.   
  
"Thoughts?" He asked nonchalantly. As if he completely wasn't wondering if it could have even vaguely been about the same subject that was keeping Zoro up. It was unlikely though; stupid cook would just attribute it the the Christmas spirit. Maybe that _was_ all it was. Stupid Christmas. Not that getting along with people was a bad thing, but it was still weird.

The cook pulled out a cigarette, lighting it and taking a puff before bringing his mug over to the sink. He returned to take Zoro's mug and, even though it was clearly finished and ready to be cleaned, he held on to it anyway. "Well?"  
  
"Nothing," Sanji sighed irritably. He took another drag, straightening up. "Just Christmas. Puts me in a weird mood. Makes me… I don’t know. Just thinking some weird thoughts. Projecting stuff. Doesn’t really matter.” He snatched the mug up out of the other man's grasp. "It's none of your business anyway."  
  
Zoro was tempted to press further, but decided it probably wasn't his place. He and the cook were usually at each other's throats; they weren't exactly confidants. if the cook didn't want to tell him, whatever. It wasn't as if Zoro was going to mention anything in his head either.  
  
He placed his head above his arms on the table, settling down. The caffeine and shower definitely made his mind feel much more awake, but that didn't mean he didn't miss the few hours of sleep he lost last night. Speaking of losing sleep...  
  
"How much sleep do you get when you work late?" He wasn't _worried_.  It was just... Conversation. Maybe about noticing the cook looking very tired the other day. Whatever.  
  
Sanji looked at him from the sink with a vaguely surprised look on his face. "Uh. Depends, sometimes the bar's open later. I'd say... 5, usually? Don't give me that look, it's plenty. We're not all as lazy as you."  
  
Zoro frowned. Five hours was certainly not fun, he knew that from his high school days, staying up at stupid times to play video games until stupid times with Luffy. And for someone who put in plenty of hours of work throughout the day and most nights, that... Didn't seem like a lot. "I don't see how you don't need to take naps. Could do you some good."  
  
Sanji snorted. "I don't need naps. Five hours is plenty. I eat the right things for energy and I take care of myself so it's fine. I know what I'm doing." He laughed, drying his hands on a towel. "It's sweet that you're concerned though," the blond smirked.  
  
Zoro immediately felt his face heat up. "I am _not_ concerned." He wondered if that sounded just as obviously like denial to the cook as it did to him. "I just think you're crazy is all. No offense cook, but you look like shit."  
  
"Yeah, well, you don't look much better yourself."  
  
"That's because  _I_ didn't get enough sleep," Zoro pointed out. That shut the cook up.  
  
Sanji moved to the oven, taking out the pie and filling the kitchen with ten times the beautiful, beautiful smell of food. Zoro's stomach rumbled, and the cook sighed.  
  
"You don't even usually have breakfast this early, can you at least wait another hours or two? Actually..." The cook paused, before pulling ingredients back across the counter. "Well, I suppose I was going to make more than one anyway. If you can just wait until it's cooled down, I'll cut you a slice."  
  
The one upside to the cook; always willing to feed the hungry. Zoro would seriously wonder what he was doing living with this annoying piece of shit of not for the fact that he got so much tasty food literally as soon as he was hungry.   
"I am _definitely_ fine with that."  
  
The cook nodded, carrying on with the other pie for a while, until he judged the first to be cool enough. Zoro got quite a hefty slice, and yep, that would make up for the annoying shit cook. For now.  
  
He took a bite, and wow. It was better than expected - less sweet than he thought which was great, and that was a good call on the cook's part considering how much ice cream and crap the two younger boys insisted on piling on their pies every time.  
  
"What, skipping out on breakfast too, curly brow?"  
  
Sanji scowled at him. "I usually wait until everyone's eating. Although, I suppose you have ruined that for today, idiot moss head." The blond looked at his unfinished dessert for a minute, before washing his hands and taking himself a slice. Zoro watched as long hands treated the cutlery as if it was the most delicate tool ever, and for all he knew, that's how the cook may have thought about his cooking stuff. Not that he was watching the cook. Just. Noticing.  
They ate in silence, save for chewing and metal hitting ceramic noises. It felt like Zoro hadn't eaten for weeks. He felt like every pie he'd ever eaten before was a lie; _this_ was real pie.  
  
"Enjoying that?"  
  
Zoro opened his eyes to see the cook smirking at him, at which point he realised his eyes were closed, and shit, did he just say that out loud? No, the cook would have taken the piss if he did. It was fine. He was fine.  
  
"It's passable," Zoro shrugged, as he took another bite. He jumped as a boot hit him squarely in the shin. "That was fucking uncalled for! You could have made me choke!"  
  
"That would have been nice," Sanji mused and pulled away from the table before Zoro could kick him back. Shitty swirly browed blond.  
  
"Oi, you making this for the party? That one that Nami and Robin are organising?"  
  
"I wasn't intending on it. Why?"  
  
"'S good, 's all. Well. Compared to your usual shit."  
  
Sanji rolled his eyes. "I guess I could make it. Maybe Nami and Robin would enjoy pie, I could try something different, an orange one, black ]current, I bet they'd enjoy something different, I could always-"  
  
"This one."  
  
Sanji looked at him. "But Apple is so... Normal. I want to make something nice."  
  
"Orange is not going to be nice. Just make this, shit cook. Classic and… all that."  
  
"Pfft, I don't take orders from you." He snatched up Zoro's finished plate, and hey, when had all the pie disappeared? "You just have very unrefined taste. Orange could be great. I'll see what else I'm making closer to the time though; they haven't let me know what they want, so we'll see."  
  
Stupid women, getting priority. Not like Zoro deserved priority. Although giving orders to the cook was pretty fun, just because he knew almost all of the time the blond would follow them when it came to what the house wanted to eat. It was probably one of the cook's only decent features.

"Whatever." He yawned, stretching his back and arms out over the chair. The green haired man was feeling plenty relaxed now; he was clean, watered, fed, meaning he had nothing left to do apart from… finding something else to do, or go back to sleep. Why was he still sat here talking to the blond idiot?  
  
"I'm going back to bed. Don't let Luffy eat all of that."  
  
"Two breakfasts, whatever next?" The cook said dryly. "You’re helping me clean up, moss head. You don’t extra just because you’ve managed to be a little less lazy for one day."  
  
"Whatever." Zoro knew that the cook was likely to keep everything fairly clean anyway; the worst that would happen would be having to dry and put away the plates, cutlery and cups from the meal which really wouldn’t be too bad; he could assume that all actual cooking equipment would be away by then. It was a small price to pay for more pie.

He headed back up, throwing himself on his bed without even changing. He fell asleep much quicker, mind emptier after being distracted. Or maybe it was the pie. Pie magic. Now _that_ was something Zoro could get behind.


	14. Sledging

"You know, Luffy. It's usually a good idea to actually _have_ a sledge in order to go sledging. Just a thought." The cook blew out a stream of smoke.  
  
"I'm sure we can find something," the younger boy grinned. "Hey, Usopp, you're an artist, you can make something, right?"  
  
Usopp raised an eyebrow. "Being an artist does not magically make me able to make _anything,_ Luffy." Still, he looked around for anything worth considering.  
  
" _Someone_ we know has some big ass baking trays." Zoro grinned at the looked on the cook's face, ready to to kick him for that comment.  
  
"You're so funny, _really._ Carry on with that thought and we'll use your dead body to sledge on."  
  
He snorted. "Good luck with that."  
  
"Who goes sledging at this time of night anyway?" Usopp mused.  
  
"But it just snowed, we haveeee tooooo!"  
  
"Find something suitable to use and we can. Nothing from the kitchen," the cook warned, and Luffy immediately shot off, Usopp in tow. Zoro considered looking with them; sledging did sound pretty fun especially considering how quiet the field and hills near their house had been last time they it snowed. However, they _could_  just wait until tomorrow and buy a sledge. The snow would more than likely still be there, and they could probably see what they were doing more. Not that Zoro didn't know what he was doing; it was only sledging, but, whatever.  
  
Less than ten minutes later he heared a thundering down the stairs, and expected a small red clad monkey to go past when instead he saw the artist head into the living room. Usopp reemerged a few seconds later, sofa cushions in each hand.  
  
The blond and the green haired men gave each other a look. The cushions were left at their feet, and the younger boy whipped open the cupboard under their sink, grabbing the roll of bin liners.  
  
He snapped one off, depositing a cushion inside, and holding it up. The cook looked unimpressed, but Zoro thought maybe it could work. It sounded crazy, but... Maybe.  
  
"If you ruin those cushions, you _are_ paying for them."  
  
Zoro took that as the cook accepting the idea, then. He left to grab Luffy, letting the other men deal with their new crazy idea.  
  
"Oi, Luffy. We have something sorted out. Where are you?"  
  
The boy popped up from under his bed. "Hey Zoro! I was seeing what I had under here that I could use. I found a lighter, two different shoes of Usopp's, a phone charger and a ball of rubber bands! Isn't that awesome?"  
  
Zoro shook his head fondly. "I don't even want to know what else is under there. Anyway, we found something. Get your coat on, I think we're okay to go."  
  
"Woohoo!" The younger boy slipped out of his hiding place like a slinkie. Zoro could practically feel him vibrating with excitement as he started getting ready, and the older man left to himself out.

Before long both were wrapped up warm, sitting on their makeshift sledges in the now empty kitchen. He could see Luffy getting impatient, and… he had an idea.

"Hey, Luffy... Why don't we test these out inside?"  
  
"But... There isn't any snow inside?" The green haired man grinned, hauling himself and his sofa cushion up. He legged it up the stairs, Luffy not far behind. After they were both at the top, he sat on the cushion, motioning for Luffy to get on. He probably shouldn't give the boy the first test drive, but two people may be too much on the stairs, and he'd only be argued with otherwise.  
  
"You ready?"  
  
"Yes!" Luffy cheered. Zoro let go, giving it a slight push, and watched as Luffy bumpily descended the stairs. The whoops and cheers definitely got the attention of the other housemates.  
  
"Oh god, now he's going to do this all the time. Thanks a _lot_ moss head, just give him even more chances to ruin the sofa. Really good job there."  
  
"Shut up, he's having fun."   
  
The cook sighed, pushing past and climbing down the stairs before Luffy could ascend. Sanji dragged him by the makeshift sledge into the kitchen.  
  
The other two followed suit. The blond began to duct tape the end of the bin bags shut - probably a good call - and wrestled with Luffy for a bit until he could get him up.   
  
They trudged outside, the temperature ten times colder than it was earlier on. Okay, maybe this wasn't the best idea but they'd got this far now; there was no way they could get Luffy back in. The younger boy ran towards the hills, and Zoro sighed. There was no way he could find the boy if he didn't catch him now. Besides, it was a pretty good way of warming up.  
  
Luffy ran up the the steepest part of the hill that they'd no doubt be sledging down. He threw some more power into his legs, catching up and over taking the boy.  
  
"No fair," Luffy pouted. He slapped the sledge down, getting ready to settle himself.   
  
"Can we not at least wait for the others? I can't actually see where they are and we may be killed if we nearly hit them."  
  
"But I wanna go _now_ Zoro, we're already here!"  
  
"And what if you hit someone and stop them from being able to cook for a few days?" Not that hitting the artist wouldn’t be bad too, but food _was_ the easiest argument.  
  
"Thanks for the concern, again, but I'm not going to be put out of commission by a kid on a sofa cushion," the cook raised an eyebrow as he appeared. He pulled out a cigarette, lighting up and exhaling over his shoulder.  
  
"You're going to have to put that out in a minute," Zoro pointed out.  
  
"Usopp," was all Sanji said. The green haired man frowned, walking to the edge of the hill and peering over. There was Usopp at the bottom, practically crawling through the snow.  
  
"You tired him out with your running. Give him a few minutes."  
  
Zoro chuckled before settling down onto the sledge that he'd brought up. Might as well make himself comfortable.   
  
"Well, now we're not going to hit any cook!" Luffy grinned, throwing himself down behind Zoro and pushing off.  
  
"Luffy-" Zoro was interrupted as the air was pushed back in his throat and _fuck_ this was going extremely fast. He barely felt any bumps, which was great, but - shit - Usopp -  
  
"Nooooooooooo!" He felt them barrel into the artist, the curly haired man sliding down the hill as the sledge pushed him. Thank god he was close to the bottom, because Zoro did _not_ want to see how that would have played out.   
  
"Sorry," Luffy gasped, lying back. "But that was freaking awesome!"

The sledge _was_ surprisingly comfortable, and it actually worked pretty well. Maybe they'd have to do that more in the future. Minus the knocking people over, of course.  
  
"I don't think you should sledge when there's some one walking up Luffy," Zoro tried to catch his breath. That was really fucking fast, and he could feel his heart trying to break out of his chest; hitting Usopp was terrifying, but the other man was getting up, giving them a look that would be scary if it was anyone other than him.  
  
"Sorry," Zoro said before Usopp could. "Let's get back up to the top."  
  
The artist looked up at the slope, extremely reluctant.  
  
Zoro sighed. He grabbed the curly haired boy, easily tossing him over his shoulder as he began to climb again.  
  
"What? Zoro, let me down, what are you-"  
  
"No offence, but, we'll never get get up there otherwise." Zoro was still considerably faster carrying Usopp up than the artist was walking by himself, but it didn't take too much extra effort to carry him. Luffy ran up behind them, dragging the sledge as he went. Eventually they both reached the top, where the cook was waiting with crossed arms.  
  
"I have half a mind to push you two right back down that hill if not for the fact that you'd probably enjoy it. Do _not_ do something that stupid again. Usopp, you okay?"  
  
The other boy nodded, sitting himself down on a sledge, and laying back. Still out of breath. Zoro felt kind of bad.  
  
"Again!" Sanji gave Luffy a look before sighing. “Give Usopp a minute." He hovered behind Usopp's sledge for a moment, finishing his cigarette off before discarding it. Settling himself on the back on the younger boy's sledge, he pulled the artist upright and reached around him to hold the front. "You ready?"  
  
Usopp nodded, leaning back on the blond as if recoiling from the snow. The cook motioned to Zoro, who pulled Luffy over and settled himself behind him. He mimicked the blond, holding the front of the sledge and effectively trapping Luffy between his arms. He didn't really expect the younger boy to fall off, but it was a good idea just in case.  
  
The other pair seemed to anticipate Luffy pushing off almost as soon as he got on, and both sledges set off at roughly the same time. They gained speed like, and Zoro nudged the sledge slightly out of their path.  
  
He considered pushing with his legs for a bit of extra power, but he wasn't entirely sure if that would work with the speed it was already going at. He tried to think less about making it a competition as much as just having fun. Zoro spat out the black hair getting caught in his mouth as Luffy leaned back. He should have really made the younger boy wear a hat.   
  
With no obstacle to slow them down like last time, Zoro nearly felt himself flying over Luffy as they got to a flatter part of the hill. He let it slide a little extra across the field, ignoring the sledge beside them that had already stopped. Luffy's whooping nearly broke an eardrum, and he tipped the the boy off as he pulled the makeshift sledge up.  
  
"Again!" Luffy yelled. The artist looked a little green at the suggestion, but held a thumb up anyway. The boy pulled the sledge back out of Zoro's hands, speeding back up the hill. Zoro grabbed the other sledge that Luffy wasn't holding, and grinned at the cook, picking up speed as he began to climb.  
  
"Your turn to help Usopp!" The blond did not look impressed and almost looked like he was going on catching up - probably could with those longer powerful legs and the lack of anything in his arms, but Sanji simply shook his head and threw the curly haired boy over his shoulder, much to Usopp's dismay.  
  
They were barely up the hill when Luffy went flying past, sledge almost not touching the floor. Actually, it may not have been at first. Maybe the sledge worked a little too well.  
  
"Well, that's one sledge gone. Wonder if he'll let anyone else on it for the rest of the night?"

Zoro shrugged, dropping the sledge he brought up. He relaxed on it, giving himself a minute.  
  
"Oi, move over, moss head. You've had an extra turn already."  
  
"Fuck off." Zoro readied his sledge, getting a firm grip. He wasn't going to give up his enjoyment for the shitty cook.  
  
He felt a weight behind him, and grumbled as a pair of slim legs settled either side of his own. "Get your _own_ sledge."  
  
"Well I can't, seeing as though someone else has taken it, and I'm not out here freezing my arse off for now reason, so _go_."  
  
"I'm not a damn chauffeur," he muttered, and no, that was Sanji's job, wasn’t it? Zoro smirked to himself, before pushing off with no warning. He heard a small gasp behind him and felt hands scrambling to hold on. The cook had said to go, it wasn't exactly Zoro’s fault if he was unprepared.  
  
The wind whipping at his face was not fun; at least with Luffy between his arms the effect was dimmed a bit but this time he got the whole force of it. On the other hand, his back felt a hell of a lot warmer.   
  
The grip around his midsection tightened as they carried on picking up speed, and Zoro leaned into it if only to stop him falling forwards, which he may been in danger of if the cook carried on like that. He ignored the thought that this was rather comfortable, other than the wind.  
  
He cursed - or attempted to, instead biting down on his lip when they ran over a rock, jolting up and his skull hitting the one behind him. They slowed down, and before long the sled came to a halt. Zoro leaned forwards, rubbing the back of his head. It felt a little sore, but not too bad.  
  
He felt Sanji snatch his arms back behind him, and the cook swore.  
  
"You okay?"  
  
"I _would_ be, if your fucking head wasn't so hard."   
  
Zoro turned around, pulling the cook's hand from his face. It was a little too dark to see anything though, apart from the cook's eye narrower than usual and his face twisted into a grimace. He imagined involuntarily smashing your face on someone elses’ head was not fun.  
  
"Do you _mind_?"  The blond stood up, swearing again as he batted away Zoro's hand and clutched at his face. With his free hand, he pulled out a cigarette, lighting it in his mouth as he began to walk away fro the sledge. Zoro jogged a couple of steps to catch up.  
  
"You sure you’re okay?  Pretty sure the hill’s that way.” He knew _that_ was right at least - even he couldn’t sledge down a hill and not being able to figure out which direction he came from.  
  
"Just go and look after those two."  
  
Although that was a good idea (although admittedly better when handed to someone other than himself), he noticed the cook was walking with pretty much one hand covered over his eye and his never moving hair over the other.  
  
He pulled on the blond’s shoulder, slowing him. "Can you get back okay? And I'm being serious, you look stupid as fuck walking like that."  
  
Sanji snorted. "As if I'd be better off being led home by a directionless moron." He sighed. "Go and have fun. I need to get some ice on this. And I _can_ still see otherwise I wouldn't be walking in the right direction, idiot."  
  
He shook his head and considered returning the insult, but it wasn’t worth it. Zoro returned to the sled, dragging it back up the hill. One of these weeks would pass without incident, surely.  
  
He stayed for a while longer, going down once or twice more with the other boys. He wondered whether he should make them go down separately, just in case, but what was that saying; lightning never strikes twice, or something? Whatever. He wasn’t so much in the mood for it now anyway, with his sore head and mood. If his head was still slightly painful, he wondered how the cook’s face was. Would it be worth going out again another time and trying to make up the lost time sledging with the cook? Probably not, since the snow would likely have melted and the excitement would probably have passed.  
  
When they were sufficiently snow filled and worn out, they trudged back towards the house. Usopp lead the way before Zoro could get a word in and he was offended that the artist would even imply that he could not find his way to their own house. Saying that, he didn't exactly _recognize_ the way back - but that was completely because of the snow everywhere. Not his fault.  
  
The house was so warm, and Zoro began removing his layers instantly, getting rid of any excess snow. The other two did the same, throwing their crap over a chair and heading to the warm blanket in the living room. Zoro noticed the cook hunched over the counter, flicking the switch of the kettle and moving over to the fridge to pull the milk out. He noted that the cook was holding a frozen bag of peas to his face.  
  
Zoro watched as he poured milk into the mugs and stirred - probably hot chocolates then.

"How's your... How are you feeling?"  
  
The cook made a noise, and sat down while he waited for the kettle to boil.

"It murders. Don't think there's any serious damage, but I might need to find some concealer or something tomorrow."  
  
"If you get a bruise, just show it off. Make it look like you were in some badass fight or something."  
  
"Uh, yeah, no," the cook snorted. "Pretty sure that would just make me look like I lost." Sanji got back up to finish the drinks when the kettle clicked. He pulled out a tray, setting the mugs down. He picked it up, with both hands, motioning towards the living room.  
  
Zoro frowned as he remembered that the blond usually carried this tray with one hand, acting all fancy ass waiter and that. Was he just being careful with the boiling hot liquid, or was something wrong?  
  
Zoro followed close behind, just in case.  
  
"Move out of my _space_ , moss head."  
  
" _You_ move," he argued out of habit. The cook huffed, setting the drinks down harder than usual. He paused for a second, before picking up his mug and mumbling something about bowing out. The younger boys complained, Luffy making grabby hands as if he could stretch his arm out and catch the blond.

Zoro grabbed his mug and sat down, watching the cook leave. He wasn’t sure if he should be worried at this point; the cook hadn’t exactly been unsteady, but usually he put all the effort in to carry and serve things smoothly, _show off_. He looked between the two boys and the doorway, sighing as he got up and made his way into the kitchen.

“Sit down, cook.” Sanji glared at him from his place at the sink. He was gripping the edge tightly, bag of peas present on his face again. Zoro steered him back over the table, pushing him onto a seat and holding him there until the cook relaxed.

“I’m fine, moss head. No need to go all mother hen on me.”

“No, that’s _your_ job,” he smirked. Zoro settled across from him, hands absently wandering around his mug.  “Do you have a headache? Feel like you’re going to be sick?”

“I’m _fine._ My face just hurts, that’s all, thanks to you and your stupid rock hard head.”

Zoro rolled his eyes. “You _know_ it would hurt whoever was in front of you. And don’t give me that shit, you pretty much interrogated me when I hurt my ankle.”

The cook huffed, resting his elbow on the table, holding both his face and the peas above it. “I’m being serious. Just standard pain from hitting something hard.”

“Dizziness?” The green haired man prompted.

Sanji sighed. “Tiny bit. It’s a lot better than before though, I’ll be fine in a minute. Stop worrying, it doesn’t suit you.” Zoro frowned; dizziness was not a good sign in this situation.

“I just need to make sure you’re not concussed, it could be ser-”

“I am / _not_ concussed. Believe me, I know what concussion feels like and this isn’t it.” He huffed again, but Zoro saw his lips turn up ever so slightly underneath the peas.

“ _Or_ , it could just be a milder concussion than you’ve had before,” he pointed out.

“ _Honestly_ , I feel completely fine apart from my face feeling like I hit a brick wall.” He took a sip from his mug, and Zoro followed suit, forgetting he even had a drink. “If it makes you feel any better,” the cook said reluctantly, “I’ll let you know if I feel worse. Which I won’t, since it’s already getting better, but if it stops you from nagging, well.”

“Now you know how we feel,” Zoro grinned. He could accept the blond’s terms though. It was better than nothing, at least.

They stayed there in a companionable silence as they finished their drinks, and Zoro wondered at what point it was that they could sit for this long in a room together without a fight breaking out. It was peaceful, sure, but it was just… strange. Maybe he should say something just to rile the cook up. Or maybe not, considering how crap the blond looked already. Zoro got up awkwardly, grabbing both empty mugs and rinsing them out in the sink. If he couldn’t be mean, he supposed he could be...nice.


	15. Wrapping Presents

"Shit." Zoro tried ripping the tape off his finger, but it was just getting more and more wound round his other hand as he did. Stupid sticky crap, how was it this hard just to hold tape? He remembered why he never usually wrapped presents. Not that he usually bought a lot of presents.  
  
"Stick it down!" Luffy held out an extremely wonkily wrapped box, managing to keep the wrapping paper closed at all corners as he held; he must have had extra stretchy hands to reach that far around it.  
  
"Just give me a second," Zoro grumbled. He had to resort to pulling one end with his teeth, giving his other a hand a chance to find a looser bit of tape and pull. He finally managed to get out of it, spitting out the tape. Well _that_ was fucking gross.  
  
He ripped off another strip, severing the end with his mouth because the scissors were still on Luffy's side and the boy was already looking impatient. Zoro stuck the tape down haphazardly, twisting and and noticing the rather large finger prints on the underside of it. Whatever, as long as it stuck together, it was fine. He did the same with the corners, tossing the finished present on the bed. He didn't particularly want to look at their handiwork. No doubt even if they were proud it would looked extremely shoddy next to Usopp's, and he didn't expect the cook's to be half bad either.

It was the present that counted, not the stupid wrapping paper.  
  
They swapped for a while, Zoro on the wrapping and Luffy on the tape - he didn't understand how just one person could do this job. It was fucking awful, and he regretting even deciding to wrap gifts in the first place.  
He held down the strangely folded paper, letting Luffy tape it down. He felt the sticky crap pass over his fingers, but it was already stuck down before he could move.  
  
"Aww, come on, could you at least look at where you're putting it?" He pulled his hand away, but that only pulled the present with it. He grabbed it with his other hand, but he couldn't get away without ripping it. With a huff he tore a hole in the wrapping and yanked his hand away.  
  
"Oops. Sorry." Luffy didn't sound sorry at all. Zoro sighed.  
  
"Let's swap back." His tape job looked crap, but at least it was on the presents and not on people. He wondered why they thought just the two of them would be a good team for this task.

 

  
  
  
"Hey, Luffy, where are the tags?" Crap. “Labeling them... probably would have been a good idea.”  
  
"Uh." The younger boy frowned, lifting up scraps of paper and snack wrappers. "I'm not sure. Usopp might have some sharpies though, they probably won't mind if we do that?"  
  
"Sounds great," Zoro replied. "If we can figure out who's is who's, that is."  
  
Luffy paused for a second, and the two gave each other a look before grabbing presents and rapidly shaking them.  
  
"It's no use," Luffy moaned. "I can't even remember what I got people, never mind figure out which is which!"  
  
Zoro wanted to slap himself for forgetting to think about something so simple. What was the point of wrapping a present for someone if no one knew who it was for? He considered the idea of just throwing any present at anyone, but somehow he didn't think they could get away with that. He looked dejectedly at the presents, willing himself to think of any way to get around their mistake - but no. Zoro sighed.  
  
"I think... We're going to have to start again."  
  
He saw Luffy's face drop, and he shrugged in apology. It was both of their faults, but he felt guilty. "Only thing we can do." Zoro had an idea. "But that does mean you get to open some presents now. Even if they're not for you."  
  
Luffy's face lit back up, his smile infecting Zoro. The younger boy tore into the nearest if presents without any warning, and he was a whirlwind of energy until he was finally done.  
  
"I’m not going to lie, that was kind of worth it."  
  
"It best have been," the older man mumbled. "Do you mind grabbing that sharpie?" He began pushing all of the used wrapping paper to one side as Luffy trekked off in search of the permanent ink that he probably should not be around. That was a problem for another time though; they promised this would be done for tomorrow, in time to give out to people as ordered by Sanji. Getting it out of the way now rather than half an hour before was probably a good idea, considering their track record this month. Or, ever.  
  
Zoro grabbed a new roll of wrapping paper, throwing an uncovered present on top and roughly cutting out the size needed to cover it. The line was completely jagged, but as long as it got covered, it was fine. He cut some tape off, sticking it on his wrist for safekeeping. It wasn't like he had anywhere else to put it, and working with the younger boy wasn't exactly getting him that far.  
  
The first present was as much of a success as Zoro would have expected, messy and crinkled but just held together. He waited for the younger boy to return. There was a definitely chance of him forgetting what the gift was or who it was for if he didn't label it straight before starting on another.  
  
Eventually Luffy reentered, holding a selection of what looked like pretty expensive markers.  
  
"I'll take them," the green haired man offered quickly, sticking them behind him and out of the way on the younger boy. He grabbed the black marker and scribbled on the gift almost illegibly, but it was obvious that the name started with a 'U' so it was clear enough. Luffy could write his own gifts; especially considering he bought so many more than Zoro. His own were bought more out of obligation than anything. Christmas was stupid and commercial but considering it was pretty much expected  of everyone to give gifts to people they were close to (no matter how reluctantly) he felt he had to along with it.   
  
Not many sounds could be heard other than tape, ripping and scissors as the two got to their tasks. It was a lot of effort after just finishing them all, and he just wanted to be done with it as soon as possible. He reminded Luffy every tim  it looked like he was close to finishing to add the name, and it ended up much better than earlier.  
  
Who knew that sticking some paper on things could be so tiring? Zoro stifled a yawn, and pushed away the finished presents as he leaned with his back against Luffy's bed, but it wasn't the comfiest, having a metal frame pushed against his back but it was better than nothing.  
  
It took Luffy a little longer, after declining Zoro's help for the remaining few. He shrugged; if Luffy wanted to do it himself, he might as well let him. He thought maybe cleaning up some of the crap was a good idea, but at this point he pretty much did not care. He got as comfy as he could, before drifting off.  
  
When he finally came to, the younger boy was draped over him awkwardly, like he was a monkey hugging a tree. Zoro tried to gently untangle him, but Luffy still woke up.  
  
"Stop moving, Zoro," he yawned.  
  
"My back is killing me, let me up. If you want to sleep, your actual bed is up ther."  
  
"But you're comfy," the black haired kid whined.  
  
"Ugghhh." Zoro pushed him off, pulling himself up by the bed, mattress creaking loudly, and began stretching. He was nearly knocked out of the way as Luffy dived forwards, way too sleepy to say  he'd had maybe 60 seconds of waking up.  
  
"Foooood!"  
  
Sandwiches didn't reallllyyyyy count as food in Zoro's book, but he wasn't about to turn them down either. He sat himself back down across from Luffy, grabbing himself a couple while he still could.  
  
Zoro hadn't realised that it was already dark outside, and shit, how long had they been asleep for? How long had these sandwiches been there? Had they completely slept through dinner?  
  
He kind of wished he'd changed the cook's ringtone to some annoying in return, to justify him ringing up right now and asking, but maybe he probably actually should get up and exercise his legs pretty soon. He padded downstairs when all sandwiches  were gone, looking around for any sign of the blond or dinner. Instead, he noticed the note on the fridge.

 

_Pasta in the fridge, heat it up properly. Back at 2._

Zoro frowned. The cook wasn’t supposed to be working tonight. He was pretty sure that the cook had worked for the last five nights already. It was reasonable that the restaurant would have busier this time of year, but still. He could do with taking it a little slower. Zoro chuckled to himself. The cook, take it slow?  He uncovered the first plate and shoved it in the microwave. He called for the younger boy, nearly burning his hands as he passed the hot plate to the boy when he arrives. He put his in next and leaned against the counter as he waited.

The green haired man considered staying up just to make sure that the blond actually slept when he got in. Now that he knew how early the cook woke up, and how little sleep he got on a work night, on top of still being slightly paranoid about the head injury that Sanji was pretending he had forget all about, he was… okay, he was worried. He trusted the cook to take care of himself, but he still couldn’t believe that he could function fine on that little sleep, especially with another night of work piled on top of them.

He stayed there as Luffy left, washing the two plates. Might as well get rid of anything that could keep an annoying blond awake. According to his phone, he had about two hours to kill. He threw on some mindless film in the living room, settling himself down for the wait.

 

 

He woke up to a blanket around him and cursed himself for missing the cook, until he noticed said blond sat a sofa cushion away holding a mug of tea in his lap.

“Go the fuck to sleep,” he mumbled with his own sleep addled voice.

Sanji chuckled. “Looks like someone woke up on the wrong side of the sofa.”

“Seriously though, why are you not in bed?” Zoro sat up, wiping his eyes. The TV was still on although quieter, and he grabbed the remote to turn it off before the cook could use it as an excuse to stay up.

The blond took a sip of his mug, before setting it down and leaning back. “Need to relax before sleeping. After work, at least. I’ll just get wound up and annoy myself otherwise. Why are _you_ down here, anyway?”

“No reason,” Zoro mumbled, glad that it was dark enough that his red cheeks wouldn’t be noticable.

“Were you waiting up for me? How sweet,” the cook teased, and the green haired man said nothing. Instead he pulled the blanket off, throwing it over the sofa behind him.

“Go to bed, shit cook.”

“Or else what?”

Zoro sighed. “Well, just remember that you only have yourself to blame.” He sat up, before yanking the cook’s arms and pushing him down. He received a knee to the ribs, grunting before sitting on the blond’s legs. He grabbed the discarded blanket, throwing it over the top half of his victim. He considered getting up so that he could cover the blond’s legs too, but he was pretty sure he’d be thrown off before he had the chance to.

“Get off, you’re fucking heavy,” Sanji grumbled. He attempted to sit up, but Zoro held him firmly down, his torso awkwardly twisted. “What are you going to do, hold me down all night?”

Zoro could feel the tips of his ears go red. “If you go to sleep then I won’t have to. I don’t see what your problem is.”

“I don’t _have_ a problem,” the cook snapped, attempting to lift the larger man with his knees.

The green haired man twisted so that more of his body was pinning the cook at a less awkward angle. “Then go to _sleep_.”

“Yeah, just make sleep on this stupid sofa rather than my own comfy bed, great plan.”

“Well, _are_ you going to go up there are sleep in your own comfy bed?” He could always attempt to just carry the other man up, but the blond was probably more alert than him right now.

The cook huffed, but relented slightly. “There’s no point, it’s only going to be time to get up by the time I fall asleep.”

“So you _do_ have a problem,” Zoro smirked. He released the cook’s arms and sat up, face heating up again as he realised how they would have looked to anyone else. Well, whatever. People shouldn’t assume things without context.

The cook made a face, letting his head fall back onto the flat sofa. “There ‘s just a lot going on this month, okay? It’s taking me forever to fall asleep unless I get myself to relax properly first.”

“And how much of your sleeping time does this relaxing take?” He challenged. The blond shook his head, and Zoro guessed he wasn’t going to get an answer at that. He sighed, pushing the cook to the side and leaning against the sofa cushions next to him. “I’m staying here until you sleep. I’m not going to accept shit food just because the cook’s too exhausted to do it properly.”

“As if that would happen,” Sanji snapped, but there was no bite behind it. Zoro nudged his shoulder roughly under the cook’s head; if the blond could sleep on his shoulder upright, then he could do it lying down too. He grabbed the blanket, covering himself as well, and after a minute or two he felt the cook relax next to him.

“Is this becoming a habit?” He heard the amusement in the cook’s voice. Zoro nudged him awkwardly with the arm not under his own head.

“Go to sleep and shut up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These chapters really keep going off in directions I didn't intend.


	16. Elf

Sanji felt silly. _Extremely_ silly. He adjusted the halo on his head, almost the same colour as his hair, and beeped for the younger man in get in the car already.   
  
Luffy hopped in, long green hat nearly spearing the blond through the face as he did. The cook had to admit, Luffy did look pretty cute in his paper elf hat and ears.   
  
He wasn't sure how or why they were delivering presents in very slight costume though. It was something to do with Usopp and Luffy's crazy ideas, that didn't fully work seeing as though neither Usopp or Zoro could be bothered driving round or wearing the stupid things in the end. It would have been hilarious with Zoro as a Christmas tree, and Usopp probably would have looked ridiculous with the star on his head. Thankfully the ‘costume’ was minimal, because there was no way he would actually dress like an angel. Maybe Nami or Robin would find the halo sweet though, so Sanji could deal. Thank god Usopp had changed his mind about the Santa idea.   
  
"Alright! Who are we going to first?"   
  
"Sweet Nami deserves to have her present before anyone else! Grab it from the back will you? Be careful!"   
  
"Nami? Awesome!" The younger boy rummaged around the back seat for a while, until he finally picked up the labelled gifts. He held it out proudly to the cook who batted it away.   
  
"Good, now get your belt on." He flicked the radio on to Christmas songs, which was getting to be a habit every time he had a house mate in here.   
  
The drive wasn't long which he blond was thankful for. He leaped out excitedly, Luffy mimicking him on the other side.  He knocked twice, not too hard, not too soft, and waited patiently for the red headed goddess to emerge.  Finally she opened the door, pausing and giggling a the duo.   
  
"Oh beautiful Nami, we are here to bring you your Christmas gift!" He snatched them from Luffy's hands, offering them up to the beautiful woman.   
  
"Why thank you." She took them gladly, piling them on top of her arms.   
  
"Would you like some help?" Sanji stepped forwards, mindful not to actually get too close to the door because he could respect a lady’s boundaries.   
  
She looked thoughtful for a second before shaking her head. "No thanks. Stay here a minute and I'll get your stuff." She disappeared, and the blond could barely contain his excitement at receiving a gift in return. 

"Here ya go." She all but threw it at them, holding the door handle and pushing the door slightly closed. "Goodnight!"  
  
"Bye, Nami!"  
  
"Good night my love, I hope you have the sweetest of dreams!" He sighed, before pulling himself back over to the car.  
  
Sanji rolled his window down as he lit a cigarette, staring wistfully at Nami’s house. One day he would be allowed inside that house. _One day_.  
  
"Where to now, Sanji?"  
  
He exhaled, before turning to Luffy. "We're visiting the exquisite Robin next, I'm sure she'll appreciate it!"  
  
-  
  
They waited as Robin's fancy doorbell went off. The place was - not creepy, no, more gothic, dark, romantic. Just the perfect description for Robin!  
  
The door creaked open and Robin appeared. She held a hand to her mouth as she looked up at the halo and elf hat in front of her, stifling a giggle. Such a shame, the raven haired woman's laugh was always so beautiful.  
  
"Well good evening, boys," she purred. "What brings you two all the way out here?"  
  
"Presents!” Luffy grinned, all but shoving them at her before Sanji could get at them. Damn it.  
  
"For me? How lovely." She turned behind her, where the blond now noticed someone lurking. "Franky, could you please put these under the tree for me? Thank you."  
  
"Woah, Franky's here?" Luffy grinned and the blue haired man returned it sheepishly. "He must be bringing presents too!"  
  
"I'll, uh, go out these away then." Franky retreated quickly, room glancing back at him as he left.  
  
"Might as well give Franky his while he's here. Luffy, do you mind?"  
  
Luffy ran back to the car, rifling through the gifts as he found a couple labelled for Franky.   
  
"Here you go!" The younger boy offered them out to Robin, who took them with a smile. "Thank you very much. Will we be seeing you at the party?"  
  
"Of course," Sanji all but bowed. "I would never pass up a chance to spend the evening with a beautiful lady such as yourself."  
  
"Good to know," she smiled. "Good bye, boys." With that she closed the door on them. Even _that_ was graceful.  
  
"Ahh, be still my beating heart!"  
  
Luffy shook his head. "You're so weird, Sanji."  
  
"Says _you_ ," the blond rolled his eyes. "Okay, we have Brook now. Get in, get his gift, get belted up. We can get the last few done quickly if we try."  
  
-  
  
"Yohohoho, for me? Thank you!" The tall man bowed, holding gifts on one arm and opening the door wider with the other. "I insist you join me for some tea! You must have done a lot of driving tonight. It must be _driving_ you mad. Yohohoho!"  
  
Sanji shook his head fondly as the two stepped in after him.  
  
"We can't stay for long, we still have to give stuff to Chopper and Ace."  
  
"I won't keep you too much then. Although, if you'd like to come caroling with me you are more than welcome." He dropped the gifts on the table, picking up a violin from nowhere, and began a very somber rendition of Silent Night before the two could say anything else.  
  
"That's... Lovely. We really can't though, sorry Brook."  
  
"Ahh, Nevermind." The musician put down his instrument, and began filling the kettle. "One day I will persuade you all to sing with me. Take a seat boys, I shall be just a second!" They waited as Brook whisked the gifts off to his living room before skipping back.  
  
He poured the tea, putting a million sugars in Luffy's before serving his guests. Sanji had to say, Brook really did know how to make good tea. It was the perfect colour, and he wished it would cool down a little bit more so that he could actually taste it.  
  
Sanji had a thought. "Hey, Brook, what are you doing on Christmas Day?"  
  
"Me? I am not sure yet, I was thinking of perhaps finding somewhere to play some more carols, spread the Christmas cheer!" So, _nothing_ then.  
  
"You're welcome to come to ours if you like." He finally sipped his tea, and yeah, this was good stuff. "I'm making a big Christmas dinner, and we'd be more than happy to have you over for it." _The more the merrier._  Getting more people over for his first Christmas away from home would make it a lot more memorable, and good for one of his first times feeding a larger group of people outside of the restaurant. All of his Christmas dinners had been made at the Baratie along with the rest of the staff so far; It just wasn't the same as doing it yourself.  
  
"Why, that sounds delightful! I think I would like to take you up on that offer, Yohohoho! Who else shoud I be expecting to see there?"  
  
"Well, us obviously. I think that Usopp is bringing Kaya over, Luffy is having lunch with his family but I'm expecting Ace to tag along with him back to ours for dinner, maybe Marco too. We haven't asked Chopper yet. Franky said he's already booked, maybe he's with the Galley-La boys. Unfortunately the lovely Robin says she has plans too, and my sweet Nami is spending the day with Nojiko. Such a shame!"  
  
"Ahh, sounds like it will be fun. I shall bring my violin over and play the very best of Christmas songs for you."  
  
"Oh, definitely. I'm sure that Zoro will love that," Sanji smirked. Live music would also be an interesting addition, _that_ wouldn't be forgotten too quickly.  
  
"Well, thank you for the tea and everything. We should get going now though."  
  
"Of course! I hope that you enjoy the rest of your evening!"  
  
"You too," Sanji nodded as they were walked to the door.  
  
-  
  
Chopper's house was a bit further out, and the ride was extremely bumpy. He and Luffy nearly butted heads twice as the smaller boy flew around the car, even with his belt on.  
  
"Finally!" Luffy bounced out with his presents, bounding over to Chopper's door. It was answered by an older woman who gave them quite a look before twisting around.  
"Chopper! You have some friends here to see you!"  
  
Sanji heard a footseps and the youngest of their friends peeked out from behind the woman.  
  
"Oh! Hey!" He stepped forwards as Kureha retreated, giving them a wide grin. "What are you guys doing here? Is that - why are you dressed up for Christmas? Should I dress up too?"  
  
"Totally!" Luffy thrust the gifts out, nearly knocking the smaller boy over. "Merry Christmas!"  
  
"Oh, you shouldn't have, a gift isn't going to make me happy you jerk!" The smaller boy blushed, but accepted the presents anyway. "Want to come in for a minute before I give you yours?"  
  
"Sure!"  
  
Sanji stepped in after Luffy, hovering around the doorway. The house looked very old and... Strange, if he was being honest. It would have been both rude and uncomfortable to go any further.  
  
"Here you go!" The smaller boy all but threw the gifts at Sanji, just about catching them. “Thanks, Chopper. Hey, I know you might already have plans but would you like to have Christmas dinner with us?"  
  
Chopper's face lit up, and he was practically bouncing on the spot. "Wow, a real Christmas dinner? That sounds awesome! I would love to come, thank you!"  
  
Sanji heard a 'Christmas is for shmucks!' In the background, but no one paid the old voice any notice.  
  
"Yayyyy! Chopper!" Luffy grinned.  
  
"That's great," Sanji nodded, messing up the younger boy’s hair before turning back to the car.   
  
-  
  
Finally, their last stop. He could see Luffy already starting to get tired, but he perked up a lot more when they arrived outside Ace's house. Luffy hammered on the door, nearly hitting his brother in the face when it opened.  
  
"Wow." Ace raised an eyebrow. "Have you... Have you seriously gone round in public like that?"  
  
Sanji remembered the halo headband settled in his hair, and sheepishly snatched it off. This was the last house anyway. "Luffy and Usopp," he mumbled.  
  
"You're just jealous!" Luffy barreled into his older brother, nearly sending him through the wall behind. Sanji was glad that he was holding the presents this time. He sighed, following Luffy in. He _knew_ he'd get distracted by Ace.  
  
He waited patiently for the brothers to stop wrestling and move out of the way. Marco popped his head out for the living room, shaking his head at their two idiots.   
  
"Should have known. Hey, Sanji. Come in, just step over them."  
  
"Hey." He maneuvered himself around the two, throwing a kick in there just because.  
  
They moved into the kitchen as the brothers eventually pulled themselves up, making a lot more noise than should have been possible for just two people.  
  
"Here." Sanji passed Ace Luffy's not so carefully wrapped present. Ace opened his mouth to reply when Luffy interrupted him.  
  
"What are you upto tonight? Anything fun?"  
  
Ace and Marco shared a look. "Nothing much, we were thinking just take out and food maybe."  
  
Sanji crinkled his nose. "Take out? Really? You can do better than  _that._ "  
  
"Yeah, but, _cooking_." The freckled man faked a shiver, and Marco punched his shoulder lightly.  
  
"What he _means_ to say is, we've been running around all day doing things for Thatch, and we don't have the energy to cook tonight."  
  
It's a wonder he has the energy to deal with Ace, then. "Well if that's the problem, I'll make you something." There was enough time to spare and Luffy was probably hungry by now; anything was better than that crap they usually, especially since he knew from experience that Ace would always order the most greasy, disgusting thing that any place sold.  
  
"Really?" Ace perked up.  
  
"It's no problem." The cook took his coat off before rummaging around the cupboards. He left Luffy to entertain the two while he decided on what to cook. The two had plenty of pasta in with just about enough stuff to make a decent sauce, so he settled on that. The rest of the cupboards were pretty bare, but he found some chilis in the fridge - spicy pasta it was then.  
  
"Need any help?" The other blond sidled up to him, having abandoned the hyperactive pair to each other.  
  
"I think I'm good thanks, pretty much got everything ready. Although if you want to do plates and cutlery, I'd appreciate it," he added. Marco nodded, swiftly grabbed needed items from their places around the kitchen. He finished up with pouring some drinks, placing them on the table and leaving the bottle out. It was a good move; the two would now doubt finish their drinks before they even started on the food.  
  
It was nice to have other people appreciate his food for a while, and Sanji found himself enjoy this part of the trip more than the rest, not least because it gave him an excuse to cook. He felt slightly more relaxed now that the presents were out of the way with; now it was just the party and actual Christmas day to go, and the fun/stress would be over. It was shaping out to be a fun Christmas, even though it wasn't going exactly as planned. Who turned up to people's houses in a halo or elf hat just to give out gifts? Only their very stupid, very wonderful household. Maybe it was just the Christmas spirit, but Sanji suddenly felt very thankful for whatever had lead up to him meeting these crazy, entertaining people. Even if they _were_ a handful.

 


	17. Christmas Party

"Luffy, if you touch that I'll _kill_ you!"

Zoro shook his head as Luffy hovered over the platters and plates on the counter.

"I was only checking to see what was under the tin foil," he pouted.

"We don't exactly need an irritable cook ruining the party for us with his shitty moods," Zoro smirked, kicking his legs up on the dining room table while the blond was out of sight. He beckoned Luffy over. It was probably best to keep him away for now.

"I _heard_  that!" The voice got louder as they heard shoes clomping down the stairs. The cook emerged with his freshly pressed suit, hair perfectly in place and pretty much looking like he'd just walked out of a fashion magazine or something. It never ceased to amaze Zoro how quickly the good could make himself look good. Not that he looked good. Well, not that Zoro thought he was good looking and there he was going off on a tangent again. He gave himself a mental kick to snap out of it.

"Are you done staring?" The cook raised an eyebrow.

"I wasn't staring! You just... Look stupid." Really?

"Says the man who has never probably used an iron in his life." He looked the green haired man up and down before frowning. "Seriously, don't you have any other shirts you can wear? You look like you just rolled out of bed in that."

"Yeah, right," he scoffed. In hindsight he probably shouldn't have had a nap in the clothes he was going out in.

The cook sighed. "Seriously, go and find yourself a new shirt or take that one off."

Zoro frowned. " _Or_  take it off? Not find a new one _and_  take it off?"

"Take it off so I can _iron_  it, idiot. You're not going out like that. Even Luffy looks more put together than you." He made a face at that, but the younger boy had actually made a decent effort tonight, wearing an ironed red shirt that had probably never even left his wardrobe before. He looked down at his own white shirt, the creases completely obvious. Maybe it hadn't been his best move. He regretted not having more decent shirts.

"Fine, whatever." He fumbled with his buttons until he eventually got them undone, throwing his shirt at the cook who already had his back turned.

The cook snatched it out of the air, looking over at him in surprise. "Huh. I didn't think you'd actually do it. I guess you're really just too lazy to look for another." He paused for a second, face inscrutable before turning away from the green man. He grabbed the ironing board and iron from their places in the kitchen and got to work.

"I didn't realise we had a maid," Zoro grinned, leaning back in his chair. He expected a giggle from Luffy, but the younger boy was no longer there. He twisted to see behind him, but he wasn't anywhere in the room. Huh. Must have left when he was taking his shirt off then. Stupid buttons and concentration.

Sanji looked up just a second to give him a glare. "This is Nami and Robin's Christmas party and I am not letting you ruin it by looking like something dragged off the streets. They deserve at the very least for you to make it look like you've put some effort in.”

"I _did_ put effort in," he protested. The blond completely ignored him. "Whatever. I'm sure they won't give a shit." Just because the cook felt the need to do everything over the top around them didn't mean that everyone else had to as well.

The blond still ignored him, finishing up the job before carefully placing the shirt on the table. Zoro pulled it on, enjoying the warmth, and tucked it into his belt. That... actually looked slightly better.

"Can't you do something about your hair?" The cook snapped. Just how many things did he want today?

"What about my hair?"

"Well, other than that it's green? It's sticking out in every direction, did you literally just wake up or something?"

" _No_ ," Zoro shot back, offended. It had been at least an hour. "Stop fussing over me, _mother_."

He heard the kick before he felt it, and he only just had time to duck. "You'll crease my clothes again if you do that!"

Sanji huffed, and he watched the cook stalk away. " _Some_  people like to have a little dignity and pride in their appearance. You should too - this is a special occasion, moss head."

"It's just a stupid party," he muttered.

"It's Nami and Robin's party, that makes it special!" The blond snapped back. "Just find Luffy, will you? I'm going to start putting the food in the car, we need to get there early. Do _not_  mess yourself up, and do not let _Luffy_  mess himself up, are we clear?"

"Yeah, yeah." Zoro rolled his eyes as he headed upstairs. It didn't take long to find Luffy; thankfully he was just sitting on his bed, playing on his DS. That was good; it couldn't get him _too_  messy. "Where did you disappear off to?"

Luffy just shrugged without looking at him. "Just giving you some privacy."

"What, privacy to take my shirt off?" He snorted. "Like we haven't changed in front of each other a million times before."

Luffy looked at him for a second.

"What?”

"Never mind." The younger boy turned back to his DS, button mashing A until the game saved. He flipped it shut, bouncing off the bed and following Zoro downstairs. Was was that all about? Zoro was tempted to press him further; it wasn’t often that he didn’t understand a look from the younger boy, but they had shit to be getting on with.

Once they helped Sanji finish packing all of the food, he ordered Zoro to sit in the back and Luffy to ride in the front, if only for the food's sake. Zoro complained, just for the hell of it, but he was ignored by the cook. He expected to have at least a small argument, but the blond stayed quiet.

Surprisingly, no Christmas songs were played on their journey, leaving Luffy to mess with the radio and put something bouncy on that contrasted with the odd atmosphere in the car. He almost wanted to rile the cook up just to get a normal reaction out of him, but something told him this wasn’t the time or place to do it.

Zoro helped unload the food when they got there. There was a lot more than he expected and he seriously wondered if they'd get through all of this. Then again, if both Luffy and Ace were there, it shouldn't be a problem, and they would happily take leftovers home if need be. Sanji too, if only to let nothing go to waste.

Speaking of the cook, he couldn't see him around anywhere. Luffy was bouncing around Nami and Robin, chatting excitedly until he spotted Franky. The blue haired man was hauling what seemed to be turntables, and began setting up on the stage with Luffy hovering around him. Before long, music started, and he could hear the levels changing as Franky messed with it. Looked like the party was getting closer to starting. He'd have rather got there when it was in full swing to be honest; he wouldn't feel so awkward standing at the food table doing nothing, and he would have had booze in his hand.

As he followed that train of thought to where he saw the empty bar earlier, Zoro noticed Luffy's friend Shanks (although how he knew him, Zoro still wasn't sure) setting up. When did _he_  begin doubling as a bartender?

He wandered over, leaning on the counter.

"Yo Zoro," the other man greeted him. "Starting the party early?"

"Just give me a beer. Being forced to help out."

The red head ducked behind the counter before setting a can of Carling before him.

"Thanks," he nodded. "Gotta love having the booze paid for."

"You're telling me." Shanks grinned, taking a swig from a half empty bottle under the counter.

"By the way... have you seen Sanji anywhere? He disappeared a while ago and I need someone to piss off while I wait for other people to get here." He took a sip of his beer, enjoying how cold it was. Already he was starting to feel far more optimistic about this party.

"Blondie? Think I saw him out back, ten minutes ago. Surprised he's not guarding the food if anything."

Zoro grunted in agreement. "Thanks. I'll be back in a bit, you better not drink everything before the party starts."

"Is that a _challenge_?"

Zoro smirked as he walked towards the exit of the building. He wasn't sure how responsible having Shanks in charge of the bar was, but he was pretty sure at this point that Nami was just grabbing anyone she could get to work for free tonight. It was not only a good idea money wise, he hated to admit, but Franky was a genuinely great DJ and would be over the moon that he even had a chance to play. The shitty cook was obviously the best choice for food and Shanks could mix drinks like no one else. He was a bit dubious if only for the fact that he'd probably give alcohol to a seven year old if they asked. Luckily no seven year olds would be there, though he was weary about whether Shanks would persuade Luffy into joining them with their heavy paced drinking. He shuddered to think how that would go.

Zoro found himself upstairs, confused. He could have sworn he headed straight back towards the outside, but apparently not. There was a paper sign on the wall reading ‘FIRST FLOOR OFF LIMITS’ and he shook his head. Zoro walked down the next set of stairs he found, surprised that they came out in the exactly place he'd come up from. He sighed, before finally noticing a big, green glowing sign saying 'exit'.

He stepped out into the cold air, shivering in surprise. He spotted the blond and trudged over.

"You disappeared pretty fast." He raised an eyebrow.

Sanji closed his eyes, exhaling smoke to his right. "How long have you known about Franky and Robin?"

"What?" Zoro frowned. "Uh... I suspected something for a while but never had it confirmed. Is that why you're sulking?"

"I'm not sulking," the blond replied irritably.

"Could have fooled me. Does it really bother you? I think they're happy. Don't let your little crush bring you down." Did something happen in there to make Sanji upset? Thinking it over, Zoro realised he'd been acting slightly off since before they even came out.

"No, not really. If she's happy, that's good. Honestly, I thought I'd be more disappointed, but I trust Franky. And it's not a crush. Excuse me for wanting to treat a lady right." He stubbed the butt of his cigarette against the floor, before pulling out another one.

"Okay, now I definitely know you're upset." Zoro snatched the second cigarette right out of the blond’s mouth, accidentally crushing it as a hand grabbed his wrist. "Just for the record, that was your own fault."

Sanji looked ready to kick him, before sighing and releasing the other man's wrist. "Nothing’s wrong. Nothing important."

"Right, it's _nothing_ _important_  that has you this wound up. I'm guessing that this is the same thing that's been keeping you awake?"

The blond gave him a look not unlike the one Luffy gave him earlier. What was _up_  with everyone today?

"It may or may not be related. Either way, it's none of your business." He pushed past Zoro, disappearing through the doorway. The green haired man huffed as the door slammed in front of him, and pulled it back open.

"Shit cook, stop being so annoying and tell me - wait, where did you... go?" He looked around, the cook nowhere in sight. "Fuck's sake." There was no point looking for him now; Zoro had no idea how this place was laid out, and if the cook didn't want to be found, he probably wouldn't be found for a while. Zoro shook his head, finding Luffy and making conversation as more people filtered in. The music started getting more upbeat and louder and before long the dance floor was filling up. He lost himself in the music and drinks for a while, ignoring the voice in the back of his head telling him to go and look for his idiot of a house mate.

He didn't have to in the end, bumping into the blond as he left some time later to get some fresh air. The cook held a cigarette in one hand and an overly full glass of wine in the other as he talked animatedly to Marco. The older blond seemed amused, and gave a nod to Zoro as he noticed him. As patient as Marco was, Zoro could tell that he wasn't all that interested in this conversation and he sidled over to relieve him.

"If you don't mind, I have a freckled delinquent to find. I'm sure our good friend here can fill in for me though." He left him in the company of the cook, giving Zoro a short pat on the back before slipping back inside behind them.

"Well _you've_  changed your tune," he noted.

"Yeah, well I haven't had any idiot moss heads annoying me for the last hour." Sanji took a large swig of wine, before returning the cigarette to his mouth.

Zoro snorted. "I'm sure _that_  was the problem. Where have you even been for the last hour?"

"...Around?" He gestured with his hand, nearly dropping this cigarette in the process. Zoro's eyes narrowed.

"Are you _drunk_?"

" _No_ ," the cook replied indignantly. "I know exactly what I'm doing, thank you very much." With that, he took another swig of wine and pushed up from the wall. "Excuse me. I'm going to go and finally enjoy the music. "

"Finally? What were you doing before?"

"Making sure that things were up to the lovely Nami's standards."

"Ha. When is anything ever up to her standards?"

Sanji glowered at him for a second before his face broke and he chuckled. "True." He stubbed out the second cigarette, strolling towards the door. "I think I'll get a refill first. You coming?"

The blond’s glass was literally full when Zoro came out, did he seriously drink that whole glass in the time it took to finish off a cigarette? "I will, but I think you should maybe slow down. Just a suggestion."

Sanji snorted. "Because you can really lecture people on alcohol."

"Well yeah, I can. I might drink a lot, but I know my limits." Not to mention the fact that he was starting off the night fairly slowly anyway. Maybe it was about time to kick up the pace. He followed the blond, noticing the way he slightly bopped to the beat of the music as he walked. Yeah, he was definitely not that sober. Whether or not he was drunk was debatable, but the blond could not deny being tipsy at least, which was unusual for his at this point of the night. He usually chatted shit about ‘savouring’ his wine, and ‘acting dignified’ and crap. Those ideas seemed to going completely out of the window tonight.

Shanks already had the bottle ready when Sanji arrived, pouring the glass nearly up to the top. Zoro shot the red head a disapproving look before ordering his own drink. Whiskey this time, something to get him just a little more pumped. He was starting to feel like he needed to catch up with the party; it was much louder than earlier.

They moved to the dance floor, pushing past people until they found Luffy and Nami and a few of their other friends. When did so many people got here? In fact, did Nami and Robin even know this many people? There were plenty of unfamiliar faces, but he couldn't tell if they outweighed the familiar or not.

They got lost in the music for a while, and Zoro chuckled at how much everyone seemed to be enjoying it. Maybe they'd _all_  had a little more to drink than he expected by now; Nami was enjoying the music with her eyes closed, suggestively dancing in the centre of them. Luffy was bouncing around red cheeked, looking like a five year old. Usopp and Kaya had at some point joined them, the long nosed boy nodding his head energetically to the music and doing something too complicated for Zoro to understand with his legs. The blond cook had long since given up trying to dance behind Nami, and was now just bopping his shoulders to the beat. He noticed the green haired man watching him, and he grabbed Zoro by the wrist.

"Why aren't you dancing?" He shouted over the music.

"I am," Zoro argued but even he knew that the vague movements he was making couldn't really pass as dancing. The cook started moving his arms a little more energetically, moving Zoro's along with him. The green haired man swayed awkwardly as he was pulled around, taking another gulp of his drink before holding it closer to him. It was great that everyone was finally enjoying themselves, but there was a reason he didn't usually dance.

“What? Do you have two left feet or something?” The cook drawled. Sanji took a swig of his wine, stumbling forwards as someone knocked into him from behind. He let go of Zoro's wrist, and the green haired man slipped away before he could be roped into anymore 'dancing'. He got himself another drink, stopping to chat with Shanks for a while before heading to the toilets. He heard a moan that distinctly sounded like a certain housemate's older brother and a shushing noise from someone else and promptly turned back the way he came. /Well/. That was certainly not something he needed to walk into.

He hovered around the food when the table opened, immediately finding Luffy. They stood there for a while, eating a little of everything. Zoro grinned when he found the apple pie, taking a few extra slices than was probably polite. When he was full and Luffy had once again disappeared, Zoro headed back out again appreciating the chance to cool down and get away from the noise.

 

 

When he back headed inside, Zoro heard a crash from the stairs he'd mistakenly wandered up earlier, and noticed familiar blond hair.

"Shit cook?" He stood at the foot of the stairs, seeing the blond poised midstep and looking down at a broken glass and puddle of something. His cheeks were rosy and his face was a strange mixture of frustration and amusement. He stared at the glass, as if that would make it fix itself and fly back up into his hand.

"There's no use crying over spilt booze," Zoro chided as the cook opened his mouth to talk. "What were you doing up? I thought we weren't supposed to go up there." On purpose, at least.

The cook shrugged, setting himself down on the step. "Nothing in particular." He ran a hand through his hair, before pulling out a cigarette.

Zoro raised an eyebrow, settling himself down on the stair in front. "You know you're not supposed to smoke in here," he stated.

"I need a smoke."

"Oh, that makes it _fine_  then." He swiped the lighter out of Sanji’s hand before he could light up, prompting to cook to grab his arm and attempt to wrestle it back out. Zoro could tell that Sanji was not in a fit state to actually fight for his lighter right now, but he let up just enough to make the blond think he had a chance. Zoro smirked as he yanked his arm back, shoving the offending item into his pocket. The cook scowled at him, before sitting back down and leaning on the stair behind him. He tilted his head back so that Zoro couldn't see much past his chin. The green haired man shook his head.

"So why exactly were you sneaking off when the party's this way?"

“I just needed to space to think, okay?”

“About what? Considering you ignored me earlier when I asked you, the least you could do is tell me now.”

The cook was quiet for a while, and Zoro couldn't be sure if he was just being ignored at this point. He elbowed the shin resting near his arm, watching as the retaliating kick went nowhere near him. Zoro turned to the side, facing the stair railings in front of him but still able to see the cook.

"Do you ever..." The cook began, before sighing heavily and toying with the unlit cigarette in his mouth. "Do you ever have crazy... thoughts. That - that don't quite feel like they're - ugh, stop it - stop spinning me-"

Zoro raised an eyebrow at the cook. "You're not moving, idiot. Finish your sentence."

"Ugh. Get me more vodka first."

"You - that was vodka you dropped? Wow, you're more stupid than I thought. You're bad enough on that crap when you haven’t downed a ton of wine already, swirly brow."

"Shut up, mossy..." He raised a leg, scraping a hard sole over Zoro's hair. Zoro ducked, pushing the cook's leg out of the way.

"How much exactly did you drink?"

"Not enough," the cook mumbled. He sat up, folding his legs underneath himself and swaying dangerously forwards.

Zoro moved up a step, prepared to catch the cook if need be. "Well, you’d be stupid to think you're getting more. I'll kill Shanks when I get out of here. Anyway, you were saying something?"

The cook hummed, staring at the cuffs of his shirt before leaning back again. "Do you ever feel like your thoughts aren't your own? No, that's not right... Like, they're you, but they're not you... Like it's not something you should think? Or something you'd ever think that you'd think. Or something."

Zoro sighed. "You're really not making any sense. Come on, let's just get out of here." He didn’t trust the cook on the stairs; his interrogation could wait.

" _You_  get out of here." The blond let himself be pulled up, stumbling over the step separating the two. Zoro had to practically drag him down the stairs, stopping only to kick the broken glass out of the way. He should probably tell someone about that.

"Where are you going?"

" _We_  are going to get you sobered up."

The cook sighed dramatically, pulling away from him. Zoro frowned, tugging harder at the other man's sleeve, and Sanji slipped out of his jacket. Zoro fumbled with it as it took him a second to register what happened. The cook's longer legs took him towards the bar quicker than Zoro anticipated, and he all but had to jog to catch up with him. The cook had another drink waiting for him, and necked it as he saw Zoro approaching. He was dragged away by the larger man, holding firmly onto his arm.

“Seriously? Shanks, look at him, does he really need any more?"

"Well he doesn't need any _less_ /" the red head grinned, cheeks not far off the colour of his hair. How no one had anticipated him manning the bar being a bad idea he did not know.

"Come on, shit cook." He pulled the blond to the side of the room, attempting to push past the crowd of gyrating people.

"You're not the boss of me," Sanji slurred, pushing him back.

"You'd only be doing the same for me," he reasoned, but he was completely ignored by the cook. Why did he even bother? Oh, that's right. He was still trying to worm an answer out of the blond. "Fine. How about we go out the other way. You can even have your lighter back."

Sanji looked at him suspiciously, before taking a clumsy step towards him. "I'm listening."

Zoro continued to pull him the other way, amazed he could find the right way out. He shivered as he stepped outside, pulling the blond with him. He shoved the cook's blazer back at him before holding up the lighter. The blond snatched at it, but Zoro pulled back before he could grab it. "You can have it back _if_  you tell me what's wrong." He definitely wasn't taking advantage of the cook's drunken state. Okay, maybe he was a little, but this problem the cook was having was starting to wear him thin. He didn't have time to be worrying about the cook.

Sanji rolled his eyes. "Not this shit again, mossy moss head."

"I'm serious," Zoro replied, slipping the lighter into his back pocket. "You're not having it back until you talk to me."

"I am doing," the cook raised an eyebrow. "I've been talking to you every time you and your shitty green hair come to annoy me."

Zoro pulled a face. "You know exactly what I'm talking about, stop being a smart arse and answer me damn it."

"For someone who says they don't care, you... really do care."

Though he was sure that wasn't exactly how the cook's sentence was intended to go, he was taken back at how truthful the cook's statement was. He felt his cheeks heat, grateful that it was dark out. He wasn't sure why he _was_  worrying so much, since Sanji was a grown man and should be able to take care of his own shit, but… it just bothered him.

"It sucks having to live with someone so pissy, so I want to know why you're being so fucking annoying." Except for tonight, with the cook snapping between friendly and hostile all too quickly, Sanji had been… pretty much the opposite of that. He didn't know if the cook was too stressed to be hostile or what. Not that he had a problem with a more agreeable cook, but the change just concerned him.

"You're fucking _annoying_. That's what's wrong, can I have my lighter back now?"

"You're not having it until you answer me properly."

" _Fine_." Zoro thought that statement meant they were getting somewhere. Instead, the blond reached around him, groping Zoro's backside to find the pocket that held the lighter. Zoro caught the cook's hand before it could delve further into his pocket.

"What - don't -" he felt his face burning up, and the cook smirked.

"Don't get too excited, I just really need a smoke." The cook swayed, holding on tighter as he supported himself on the other man.

"I'm not- ugh." Zoro pushed him off, not realising how close the cook was to him, but in his shock he was too slow to grab the lighter and before he knew it the blond was lighting up already. _Damn it. There goes_  that  _idea._

"I'm still not going to drop it, you know," he stated firmly, crossing his arms.

"I know," the cook took another drag, leaning against the wall before slowly sitting down in front of it and exhaling. Zoro raised an eyebrow but the cook shook his head. He took another drag before dropping his cigarette, looking down dejectedly at at.

"Right, we're going home. You're definitely too drunk to be here."

"I'm not _drunk_ ," the cook argued, his words slower than before. Zoro pulled him up easily, hauling him towards the door. Sanji's feet dragged behind him, and Zoro caught him with the edge of his shoulder as the cook dropped towards him.

" _Just_  what I need." He pushed the blond's face up, and seeing his closed eyelids, he groaned. He took a breath before hauling the cook up, throwing him over his shoulder. At least this would be embarrassing for the cook later, but he really didn't want the attention it would bring for himself right now. Still, he pushed his way through the room, ignoring people bothering him about the heap over his shoulder until he reached the entrance.

"Oh my," Robin giggled. "I see someone has had a bit too much fun tonight."

"I'm not sure that fun's the word," he mumbled. He noticed that Robin herself had a deep colour across her cheeks, and her make up was slightly out of place. Just how much did Shanks give everyone? "Have you seen Luffy or Usopp anywhere?"

The taller woman thought for a second. "Usopp was sitting down with Kaya not too long ago, though if you're considering finding him to go home, I must tell you not to bother; I don't think he's coming home tonight."

Zoro raised an eyebrow and Robin have him an amused glance in return. "Last I saw Luffy, he was lying down under the food tables. Shall I go check for you?"

"Please." He readjusted the weight on his shoulder and pulled out his phone, finger poised on the keypad.

Robin returned not too long after, a sleepy Luffy in tow.

"Zoro? Is it time to go home?" The younger boy looked extremely red faced and exhausted. Zoro wasn't sure what could have made him so out of it.

"Yeah, I'll get us a taxi now. You okay?"

"Just tired," Luffy nodded, leaning against the doorframe.

Zoro rang the taxi, retreating outside afterwards. He forgot about the cold, again, and wondered if he'd been this completely sober all night or if it was just the amount of times he'd been freezing. Then again just being around Sanji was probably making him feel a lot more sober.

Speaking of, the blond was beginning to move, and Zoro gingerly placed him down against the wall. Sanji mumbled incoherently and Zoro let go. He reached forwards as the blond swayed again, but the cook righted himself before the green haired man got there.

"What's going on?"

"We're going home."

Sanji frowned at that, before pulling himself up and stumbling towards the door. Zoro tugged at his sleeve before putting a whole hand around the man's arm.

"And just where do you think you're going?”

"I'm going to enjoy the party, green... hair."

Zoro snorted. "Original, really. Now get back over here; there's no way I’m going to let you go and embarrass yourself in there."

"Like hell," Sanji replied, pulling violently away from him. Zoro snatched both arms this time, pinning them behind his back and resting the cook against the wall.

"Stop being such a _pain_. People are very drunk and going home, as you are, so stop _moving_."

"You're an idiot and I hate you," Sanji mumbled into the wall.

"Yeah, well, likewise." Zoro shook his head and smiled. This was slightly more like the cook. "Now am I going to have to march you to that taxi that is waiting for us or are you actually going to get your arse into gear for long enough to walk over there?"

"I can't exactly walk when you're pinning me down." The cook tried to wiggle free, which achieved nothing but making Zoro feel severely uncomfortable. He shoved the blond towards the taxi anyway calling for Luffy to get in too. He climbed in awkwardly, blond struggling in front of him he he kept his arms pinned. He nearly lost his grip for a second and the blond tried to push him off. This only resulted in Zoro trapping the blond’s arms in front of him instead, like some kind of straight jacket hug. The blond huffed but eventually stopped as he slumped against the window. Zoro didn't realise they were already home until Luffy was thanking and paying the driver in the front. He let the younger boy open the door for him, and he awkwardly pushed blond out of the taxi in front of him. He released him, hauling one of Sanji's arms over his shoulder and putting his own arm under the cook's ribs.

"You are the single most annoying person I've ever lived with," he growled as he slowly got them into the house. Luffy disappeared up the stairs almost instantly after locking the front door and Zoro hoped he was alright. He deposited the blond on the sofa; much less effort than dragging him all the way up the stairs.

He felt a fist grabbing his shirt, and he looked down to see the frowning blond awake again.

"Where are you going?"

"Uh, upstairs. To sleep. Which you should be doing right now."

"I can't sleep."

"You haven't even tried," he sighed in exasperation. They were home now, could he finally stop playing babysitter?

"I can't sleep," the blond insisted, pulling him down further. "Stay here again?"

"You're such a pain," Zoro groaned. "You're not a child, stop asking me to do this."

"You started it last time," Sanji mumbled.

He was right. The cook had fallen asleep pretty quickly too, and Zoro sighed. It wasn't exactly hard for himself to fall asleep last time either; having another warm body next to him was comfortable, but a drunk, irritable alcohol and cigarette smelling Sanji when he wanted nothing but his own bed right now? Ugh.

"Just until you fall asleep," he warned. Sanji laughed, but still, Zoro settled down where he had last time. The green haired man paused before pushing the blond onto his side.

"What are you doing? I didn't ask you to _spoon_  me."

"I'm not letting you pass out on your back when you're drunk, idiot." He supposed he _could_  keep a better eye on the cook if he stayed with him, but that didn't mean that he didn't feel awkward about it. This was strangely less weird when sober. Which was not something he expected to think; that was a one off to make sure the cook finally slept. And the time before that was just an accidental oops-I-fell-asleep-on-your-shoulder-thing. Shit, maybe this _was_  becoming a habit.

"I'm _not_  drunk," the cook argued, earning a laugh in return. Still, he settled into Zoro's chest, and the green haired man pulled what was now dubbed 'the sofa blanket' over them. Without even thinking he threw arm around the cook, resting his head on soft hair as he slowly fell asleep.


	18. Hangover

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know a hangover is not a Christmas thing, but you can't deny that there's a lot of them around Christmas time, so I'm using it as one of my prompts.

Zoro felt something tickle his nose. He moved back before he could sneeze, arm hitting the back of the sofa.  
  
The sofa... Oh.

It took him a second; one arm was dead under the heavy weight in front of him, and his eyelids were glued together. Zoro tried to move his other arm draped over the blond, but he was stopped by something intertwined with his fingers.  
  
Zoro huffed. It was one thing to make him stay there all night (even if Zoro could have protested a little more) but to anchor him down so that he couldn't leave? He tried hopelessly to release his hand from Sanji's iron grip, but that was even harder with only one hand free. He gave up, sighing into the blond's hair. Hopefully their younger housemate wouldn't be awake and downstairs any time soon - which he doubted, considering how tired the boy looked although Zoro had no idea what time it was. It was a lot lighter outside, but with a human shield in the way he didn't mind too much. Zoro shifted, trying to push his slightly now less dead arm forwards so that it could join his other arm around the cook's waist. That was a lot more comfortable, and before long he drifted off again.  
  
When he next woke up, it was to the blond attempting to burrow further under the blanket. Zoro chuckled when he realised that Sanji was stuck facing the intrusively bright window, with what was probably the world’s worst hangover.  
  
"Finally awake?" He mumbled sleepily into the pale ear half hidden under the blanket. He got a loud groan in response, the blond’s leg moving as if to jab him before giving up. It was held down by one of Zoro's legs, and the larger man wondered at what point they'd gotten so tangled up in each other. Whatever. He was comfortable, so he would completely ignore what this looked like.  
  
"Why... are we here?" The cook mumbled, absentmindedly tugging the large arm further around him.  
  
"What, in an existential kind of way?" Zoro smirked. He rested his head back down on the cook's shoulder, letting the soft hair rub against his face.  
  
"Ughhh." The cook tried digging further under the blanket, but he was locked where he was by all of Zoro's limbs now. If he was going to be trapped by the cook then he'd more than happily make sure the cook was trapped too.

"What even happened? Why is my head... this bad?"  
  
"You broke into the bar and starting drinking everything you could find until Shanks stopped you," Zoro lied.  
  
"Shut the fuck up," the blond mumbled. "I’m not stupid. ‘M going back to sleep."  
  
"Lazy fucker," Zoro murmured, but he had no complaints about staying for now. It was comfortable, damn it. He could always blame it on the alcohol and the drunken blond, which _were_ the main culprits to be fair. He had _absolutely_ no choice in the matter.  
  
Zoro woke up a lot colder the next time, blanket half off him and tucked under the blond.  
"Shitty cook, stop being rude," he said louder than appropriate into Sanji’s ear. That earned his hand a violent squeeze, probably the only thing the cook could manage right now. "Do you mind not suffocating yourself and letting me be warm?"  
  
"Fuck off."  
  
" _You_ fuck off."  
  
"I don't want to," the cook's muffled voice replied.  
  
"Well, tough crap because I really need to get up. I'm not a pillow, get off me." Sanji ignored him, and Zoro knew he'd have to take control of this. He took a breath, before rolling over the blond, pushing him flat on his face. Zoro untangled his legs and lifted the arm holding the blond, climbing off the sofa. His hand was still locked under Sanji, and he tugged to no avail.  
  
"If you don't get off me, I _will_ pull you off here, you know I'm not lying." He heard a sigh and his hand was released. He shook it a couple of times, willing the life back into it. Zoro tried to pull the blanket from where it was stuck under the blond, but he wasn't moving enough for him to grab it. Zoro shrugged; it was his own fault he'd be cold.  
  
He meandered off, finding the bathroom. He felt surprisingly decent to say they'd been out all night, although he probably felt a lot better after comparing himself to the state of the cook. He wandered into the kitchen when he was done. Zoro filled the kettle, putting a spoon of the instant coffee they used when Sanji wasn't around to make them real coffee into his mug. He paused for a second, before deciding that he blond could do with some too. He wasn't sure if the coffee actually helped a hangover or not, and the blond would no doubt complain at this 'watered down shit', but he looked like he needed it. Zoro carried the drinks to the living room, cursing as he spilt some just left of his foot, and he clunked them loudly on the coffee table. Zoro was about to sit down before he decided to throw open the curtains. He cringed at the light himself, but it was for the best.  
  
"Oi, shit cook." He nudged the sleeping blond with his foot, who ignored him and rolled over, facing the back of the couch.  
  
"Stop being a wuss and drink your coffee." He sat down near the cook's feet, and Sanji's head lifted slightly.

"Coffee?"  
  
Zoro gestured to the table, and Sanji sat up slowly, shielding his eyes. He turned to face the mugs, groaning and draping the discarded blanket over his shoulders, before pulling it over his head and obscuring his face.  
  
"You can't drink like that," Zoro said unnecessarily loud and cheerful.  
  
He could half see the cook's scowl from under the edge of the blanket, and he tugged it back up.  
  
The blond yelped, covering his face again. "You're fucking evil, I don't know why I even put up with you!” He kept his eyes closed, feeling for the mug. His hand finally closed around it, and he took a long sip.  
  
"Thirsty?" Zoro teased.  
  
Sanji gave him a look. "You're too happy for this time of morning. Day. Whatever. Why aren't you dying too?"  
  
Zoro raised an eyebrow. "Because I didn't get myself drunk enough to pass out? Don’t complain, you did it to yourself." He cook looked awful, and he would bet that the blond felt even worse than he looked. It was pretty entertaining.  
  
Sanji sighed, taking another sip. "I didn't do anything stupid, did I? Or embarrass myself, or... say anything?"  
  
"You didn't embarrass yourself anymore than you usually do. Although you nearly stopped the taxi driver from letting us in, so there's that. As for saying anything, well, do you not remember spouting all of that crap at me on the stairs?" The cook was incoherent as anything, and Zoro was vaguely annoyed that he'd got so much closer to figuring out what was up with the cook but just quite didn’t manage. He would still find a way, though.  
  
The cook paused. "What kind of crap?" He asked carefully.  
  
Zoro looked at Sanji's guarded expression. He was guessing the cook knew what kind of crap he was talking about. "Some weird shit about thoughts that you didn't explain properly. Which you still owe me an explanation of, by the way."  
  
"I can't remember what I said," Sanji replied, looking into his coffee. Zoro's eyes narrowed at the obvious lie, but now wasn't to time to push it. Maybe when the cook wasn't feeling so dead, and when Zoro was actually in the mood to listen.  
  
"Whatever. You also dropped your vodka everywhere - great decision by the way, after drinking that wine so fast - oh, and you groped my ass when-"  
  
" _What_?" Sanji squawked. "You liar."  
  
"-when you were trying to get your lighter out of my back pocket," he raised an eyebrow. Sanji's face calmed slightly, but he was still looking at him in slight disbelief. He was always fun to mess with.  
  
"People may have also seen you passed out when I had to carry you outside. Robin found it entertaining." He paused for a second, watching blood rose to the cook's cheeks. "That's it. Pretty uneventful, all in all." He grinned, dodging out of the way of the cook's feeble punch.   
  
"Still hate you. So much. Ugh. I can't believe I let myself get so bad." He put his empty mug on the table, sighing and pulling the blanket tighter around his shoulders.  
  
"Thanks, I suppose. For putting up with me. Sorry for ruining your night."  
  
"What? You didn't ruin my night," Zoro frowned. Of course, looking back on it was more entertaining than it was at the time, but the night definitely had its high points, not least ending in Zoro having an extremely comfortable sleep. "I am still going to kill Shanks though."  
  
Sanji chuckled, and settled himself back down into the corner of the sofa. "Glad it wasn't a total loss," he replied sleepily.  
  
"Oi, what do you think you're doing?” Zoro tugged at the blanket again, succeeding only in pulling the cook closer to him. "Stop being lazy. You stink of shitty booze and lying here isn't going to do you any good."  
  
"Like you'd know," Sanji muttered. He didn't leave though, feebly attempting to pull the blanket further over his face again. Zoro dragged the blanket on purpose this time, nudging the table away with his foot and depositing the blond on the floor.  
  
He received a scowl from the face barely visible behind blond hair. Sanji looked flustered, recovering from the shock of being dropped, on top of his hangover. "I really, really hate you."  
  
"Move." Zoro gave him a light kick for the sake of it, but the cook did nothing but roll over. "This is your own fault." He grabbed the end of the blanket scrunched around the cook's feet, and dragged the blond behind him to the hallway. He watched in amusement as blond hair trailed behind him, and Sanji scrambled to get any skin that could be scraped covered and away from the floor. He made a frustrated noise before kicking a leg out, hitting Zoro squarely behind his knee and making his legs buckle. Well, he seemed to be recovering quickly.  
  
Zoro groaned as he pushed himself up from the floor. Luckily he missed the stairs, but falling flat on his face still hurt. At least he knew to be on his guard even when the blond was hungover.  
  
Sanji glared at him from the floor, right leg poised to kick again.  
  
"You _are_ just being lazy if you can do that. Get up and get a shower, you idiot."  
  
"I'm moving out. Away from you," the cook growled but there was no real bite to it. Zoro grabbed the man’s arm, hauling him to his feet and holding him steady as Sanji pressed forwards under a sudden bout of dizziness. "Ugh. You've made it worse, you bastard. _Fuck_. If this shitty headache is still here when I'm at work, I am going to kill you."  
  
"It's your own fault!" Zoro replied indignantly. "Don't blame _me_  for you being stupid." He gave the blond a push towards the stairs, snickering as Sanji stumbled over the first step, regaining his balance and clutching the wall. It was tempting to get him in this state more often just because hungover Sanji was great fun to tease, but he felt a twinge of sympathy for the man, having to work later. At least it was in the evening, but he wasn't sure just how much alcohol was still in the cook's system.   
  
He leaned against the wall, thinking over his own options for the day. He had nothing he absolutely had to do, so a lazy day was definitely acceptable. He shuffled up the stairs himself, ducking as he got to his own steps and ignoring the decorations above his head that it was now second nature to avoid. He changed into new clothes, figuring he could always have a shower later on. Zoro picked up his guitar, mindlessly strumming as he wondered if it would be a good idea to go back to sleep himself. It was midday, so he probably got a decent amount of sleep, even if it wasn't that deep. Although sleeping again would stop him being able to laugh at the cook in his hungover state, and considering how rare that was, Zoro wasn't sure how much he wanted to miss it.  
  
Zoro frowned as he looked for his phone; he must have left it somewhere in the living room. He couldn't even check if there were any particularly bad photos of the party on Facebook yet, seeing as though he'd never bothered to get his laptop fixed. Well, he could always check after food, when there was a higher chance of anything being uploaded.  
  
He jogged down his stairs, pausing as he heard a strange noise on the first floor. Concentrating, he made out the sounds of... Vomiting. Lovely. He felt a pang of pity, but again it was no ones fault but the cook’s own and maybe Shank's too.  
  
Zoro realised his chances of getting a decent breakfast were maybe not the highest right now; he wasn't sure if Sanji would be anywhere near in the mood to make something properly, although Zoro wouldn't be surprised if he just had natural cooking instincts all the time even when ill or hungover. Neither of those had happened since they’d all been living together, not including today, so that hadn't been tested yet. Still, he was hungry now and he didn't want to take the risk of waiting for the cook and still not getting anything decent to eat.  
  
He hopped down, grabbing his phone on the way to the kitchen. Zoro shuffled in, switching on his internet and checking his notifications. Nothing interesting yet, just a status from Robin thanking everyone for attending and some jumbled status from Luffy, tagging him and Ace along with more incoherent words. He shook his head, wondering how much worse for wear the younger boy would be when he finally woke up. Same for Usopp, although it was possible he could be in considerably higher spirits since he stayed the night at Kaya's. Zoro smirked as he set his phone down. Good for him.  
  
He opened the fridge, checking the contents for anything that Sanji wouldn't kill him for using up. His eyes landed on the bacon straight away, and he spotted eggs and sausages and his mouth almost watered at the idea of a fry up. He knew he should leave that sort of thing to the cook, since Zoro couldn't remember the last time he'd actually used a frying pan, but it couldn't be _too_ hard to fry stuff, right? Maybe he could even make some for the blond, give him a decent hangover cure (or at least distraction) while rubbing it in his face how useless he was. Zoro smirked, pulling the items out of the fridge.  
  
He threw some oil in the pan, waiting impatiently for anything to happen so that he could add something to cook. He gave in, dropping the bacon and watching as absolutely nothing happened. He sighed, ignoring the pan for now. Zoro rinsed chopped up the few mushrooms he found, attempting to imitate the way the cook did it for these kind of meals. The quarters were very uneven, but good enough for Zoro. He looked over at the bacon as it started making a noise, and he poked it gingerly. Zoro guessed he should probably leave it for a while, so he sat down at the table. The cook always seemed to be fussing with something in the kitchen while he cooked, giving Zoro the distinct feeling that he wasn't doing everything he could be doing. Then again, there were usually more people around, which always meant more things to do.

He realised that he hadn't even considered the idea of making some in case Luffy woke up, not that he thought he could cook enough for the boy anyway. He was too caught up trying to figure out how the cook did things and why was he doing this for the stupid curly brow anyway? It was unnecessarily nice of him; he'd long since lost count of the who owed who crap from his month and this was a considerable effort for Zoro to do just for himself, never mind for someone else. He wanted to make the cook feel less shit than he looked, and wow. There was pretty much no denying now that he did care, just like the cook said last night. About what or how much, he wasn't sure, but something has to have seriously changed to let him stand here and cook breakfast for Sanji after looking after him all night and spend the night sleeping next to him and shit.  
  
He cared. He cared about the cook and when did that happen? Zoro found himself staring at a spot on the kitchen floor before a particularly loud pop made him jump, and he looked over to see the pan spitting oil nearly as far as the table.  
  
"Shit." He ran over, holding the pan away from the heat and wincing as a blob of oil sizzled on his arm. He settled the pan on the ring behind, turning the gas down at the front to half way, before hesitantly placing the pan back on the heat. The spitting was already calming down, but he took a step for good measure.

Zoro grabbed a fork, remembering that he was supposed to turn the bacon over at some point. He couldn't be sure when, but as he flipped it he saw the extra crispy underside and, yeah. Probably should have done that earlier. He sighed; it would do, but it would have been nice to do it how he intended to. It wasn't exactly his fault that he was distracted by thoughts of the shitty cook and how much, for all his complaining, he would very much like to repeat their new sleeping arrangements again and again and shit, this was bad. This was _terrible_ ; he was starting to have feelings, or something that Zoro was unfamiliar with towards a housemate, a womanizing housemate at that. He groaned as he mentally kicked himself. Out of everyone he knew, couldn't he have really found someone better? Someone less hostile, less painfully annoying... But that was one of the things that made him enjoy being around the cook so much, wasn't it? Getting each other riled up, letting out steam with their verbal and physical fights, dishing it out as bad as they could because they knew the other could take it.

Zoro was truly fucked; he was aware the month had lead him to relying on the cook more, sure. That was obvious, but he'd made up for it with helping the cook in his own way. He'd actually talked with the cook, much more this month as he somehow found some concern somewhere for the other man, and vise versa. It was thoughts of how strange their relationship had changed that was keeping him awake more often that not. Until he started falling asleep around the cook that was, and that really was starting to be a habit. How much would he have pushed the cook away if this was even a month ago?  
  
He snapped out of his reverie as he remembered the bacon again, and he scooped it out of the pan in an attempt to rescue it. It was now a very crispy orange brown colour, which Zoro definitely didn't mind, but he knew the cook tended to make it more pink. Well, it was still pretty much edible. He divided the bacon up in the plates, stll wondering if he should make the sleeping boy some too. It would probably be cold by the time he woke up though, and the cook could make him a better meal later. It would have made it seem like he wasn't cooking for just him and Sanji like it was a date or something, though. Except, cooking for your flatmates was completely normal, and he was being paranoid. Zoro couldn't help but notice how much stuff he did this month could have made his growing affections obvious, even if not to himself. What if anyone noticed? Except that Luffy had already said something suspect, something about giving him some privacy when he was in here with the cook last night, taking his shirt off... Zoro's face burned a bright red. Had Luffy clocked onto... whatever it was making Zoro act like this? The cook was just as guilty though, right? Or was he being nicer because Zoro was? Was that all it would have taken to get along, just one of them making an effort? Mentally rewinding his memories, Zoro tried to figure out at what point he first noticed either of them genuinely being decent to each other, but the whole month was such a blur of Christmas madness that he couldn't pick a moment out.   
  
Zoro remembered that he was supposed to be cooking, abandoning his thoughts in favor of an egg. He hesitated before cracking it on the edge, narrowly stopping any shell from falling in. There was a proud grin on his face before he picked up another egg. He could do two at once, he was efficient. As Zoro cracked the second one though, he noticed the first egg turning yellow as the yolk speed into the white. The egg looked fine when he broke it, the yolk should have stayed put! He huffed, accidentally shoving a thumb through the yolk of the second egg as it fell into the pan. Fanfuckingtastic, now both the eggs were ruined. They were barely worth eating without a runny yolk, but he knew how the cook felt about wasting food and he didn't exactly want to eat two not runny eggs. Sighing, he waited for them to cook, keeping a much closer eye on them than the bacon. When they looked about done, in Zoro's opinion at least, he grabbed a spatula, messily dropping them onto each plate. He frowned at the layer of oil spreading around them, but ignored it in favor of the rest of the meal. He threw the mushrooms in next, not quite sure if they needed anything special doing. He guessed probably not. Zoro thought this was going toeasy, but apparently not. It was a nice distraction from the mess in his head though; he could see why the cook enjoyed it so much.  
  
"Smells nice in here."  
  
Zoro jumped, nearly pressing his hand into the pan. "Uh. I was hungry?"   
  
"Yes, people sometimes cook when they're hungry." The cook gave him a small smirk which was a wonder considering how shit he still looked. His hair was back to its usual perfect place, but he was paler than usual, slightly bloodshot eyes.  
  
"Are you okay to eat? I heard you throwing up, but you probably need something back in your stomach, right?" That’s what Zoro would want, at least.  
  
Sanji looked at him for a second, before glancing over to the plates. "You're cooking for me?"  
  
He searched for an excuse. "I thought whatever you cook would probably be shit, with the state you're  in." Yet even as he said it it sounded silly; anything Sanji cooked in this state would still be considerably better than anything that Zoro would cook... Ever.  
  
The cook opened his mouth to speak, before closing it again and shaking his head. "Thanks," he finally said, giving a sleepy grin.  His hand wrapped around the green haired man's and Zoro panicked. What was he doing?

The blond lead his hand around the pan, fork turning over the withering vegetables.  "You should always pay attention to what you're cooking, moss head. Also, use the right tools next time." He chuckled, and Zoro relented his grasp on the fork, letting the cook take over. At least this looked less like he was cooking for the blond, but he still felt it would have been nice to do something for Sanji while he was still so obviously hungover. Letting the cook make them a decent tasting meal was _probably_ kinder though.  
  
He sat back down, watching as the cook rescued he mushrooms before starting on the sausages. Sanji clicked the grill on, grabbing some tomatoes from the fridge and swinging it shut with his hips.   
  
"Butter some bread, will you?" Zoro leapt up, happy to make himself useful in a task that he couldn't mess up. He threw himself into it, placing the plate of bread proudly in the middle of the table. The blond watched from over his shoulder and smirked. "Got enough bread there?"  
  
"Shut up. I'm hungry." Okay, maybe he had gone a little over board. Still, better too much than too little, right?  
  
He grabbed some glasses and a carton of orange juice, preemptively fulfilling the cook's next task. He'd heard the order to get drinks and set the table enough times.  
  
He grabbed the cutlery, shoving it next to the bread. There was no need to do too much; he didn't want to look like he was making an effort with this. Except he did, because who doesn’t like being appreciated? Zoro chuckled at how silly he sounded. The cook would believe Zoro was only doing this for his stomach, and not other… sappier parts of his anatomy.  Ugh.  
  
Damn it, he was thinking about it again, and watching the cook's smooth movements around the kitchen did nothing to help him ignore the realization that he wanted his housemate. Fuck fuck fuck _fuckkk_.  
  
"I have to say, this was one of your better ideas, moss head." Sanji smiled, putting the plates down and Zoro was sure his brain melting and blond looked kind of cute when he was tired and not putting on his fancy ass I'm better than you act. Except this was Sanji of all people, and cute?  _Cute_? Maybe Zoro just got brain damage along the way, and that's all it was.   
  
"Earth to Zoro?" The cook raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Uh," he said eloquently. Zoro picked up his cutlery so he had something to do, and nodded when he realised the cook _had_ just been speaking to him.

" _Yep._ The best." He threw a grin in there for good measure, but the cook's eyebrow stayed high up. "Let's eat, I'm starving."

He dug in without warning, grateful for an excuse not to look at the cook or talk. What if he was being obvious, what if the look was so plain on his face that the whole world knew what he was thinking. How would Sanji react? What if he would be offended in some way - he put so much effort in with women, would he take it as an insult that Zoro thought... What? That Sanji might like him back? He shook his head slightly. The blond might be an idiot, but even he wouldn't do something like that. He was a romantic himself. Maybe he'd just apologise and pity him. Maybe he'd start distancing himself and going back to how they used to be and whatever was happening here would be ruined for good. Which would be horrible, considering how well they were getting a long and how much nicer it all was.  
  
Zoro suddenly felt less hungry. The food really wasn't too bad - a little disappointing without a runny yolk, but the bacon was still nice and the rest of the meal was good. He grabbed the juice, pouring himself a large glass and gulping it down. It took him a second to realised that the blond had stopped eating. His hands were hovered over his plate and he was looking at Zoro with an unsure expression.  
  
"Are you okay? You look like you've just realised Santa doesn't exist or something."  
  
"Santa _doesn't_ exist?" They both laughed, but Zoro felt bad for making it awkward. "Sorry."  
  
"Sorry? Zoro, I'm asking you if you're alright."  
  
"I'm fine," he smiled, taking another sip. "Just. Uh. Thinking maybe my own drinking's catching up to me." Because that wasn't a total lie. He didn't even drink as much as usual, and the fuck ton of pie he ate helped. "So, you picked Apple, did you?" He realised after he said how blatant the subject change was, and also how confusing it was to anyone not following his train of thought. Sanji looked at him blankly. "The pie?"  
  
"Oh. Yeah, I thought you were right. Classic would be best, if this was some fancy dinner maybe I'd try something different, but lots of drunk people who probably aren't going to appreciate something like that, might as well just give them what they know." Zoro could tell that the cook wanted to change to subject back; the green haired man must have really looked out of it. He also knew that if the cook kept asking then it was only fair for him to keep asking about his own weirdness recently, and he knew that if both of them didn't want to talk about something, they weren't likely to, so he was probably safe for now.  
  
"Yeah, it probably would have turned out shit and then you'd have a horde of drunk people on your ass."

Sanji scoffed, choosing to carry on with his food than give him a reply.  
  
"You know, this breakfast isn't half bad. Well, lunch. Brunch. Whatever we're calling it. You were really hungry enough to try to  _cook_ something?"  
  
Zoro shrugged. "Kind of. Didn't think you'd be up for cooking. It was… more complicated than I thought."  
  
Sanji smirked. "Now you understand. Thanks, though. I'm sorry I woke up so late, I probably would have been fine to..."  
  
"You were drinking pretty heavily all night at a Christmas party, I don't think that exactly requires an apology for waking up late." Waking up early would have also meant less time sleeping next to the blond, which would have been a shame. "Gave me something to do," he shrugged. Zoro finished off the last of his meal, wrapping half a sausage and a handful of mushrooms in bread before. taking a large bite out of it.  
  
"Well, I appreciate it."  
  
Zoro could feel his stomach doing weird things not related to food, and he decided that was his cue to get out of there. "You best do, shit cook, I'm not picking up your slack again." He grinned, and the cook rolled his eyes. "I'm getting a shower." He wasn't sure why he announced that; maybe he wanted to sound less like he was running away. Whatever.  
  
"You do that." The cook dumped the plates and cutlery into the sink, beginning to clean up the rest of the kitchen. "Don't take too long, I need to wash up soon. Unless you don't mind scalding hot water as soon as I turn the tap on?"  
  
"You're evil," Zoro mumbled, but nodded all the same. At least having limited time meant he was less likely to stand there thinking over things, but he had a long day of nothing ahead of him and Zoro just wished he could be back on that sofa, arms around the cook and not having to worry about stupid annoying feelings that he didn't know how to handle.

 

 


	19. Christmas Eve

It was unlike the cook to be so last minute about getting things organised, but Zoro imagined the constant nights working at the Baratie was not doing him any favors. As terrifying as he was, Zoro was prepared to kill Zeff if he made the blond work on Christmas Eve. It didn't look like it would come to that, since asking so last minute on said day would be a shitty move even if Sanji would probably say yes. No, instead of working, Sanji was running around like a headless chicken, attempting to grab the best of everything before it was gone. Thankfully he'd thought to get the meat in advance, especially considering how much of it they would need for just Luffy, never mind if Ace came over too, and of course the rest of them.  
  
That's why Zoro was there at 9 am, hauling baskets around jabbing the cook in the ribs every time he started getting too flustered. He could see how much this Christmas meant to the blond, so he offered to come along when Sanji found him sitting in the kitchen earlier than usual, messing with random buttons on his phone and staring into space. If he was being honest, Zoro missed his blond body pillow and the realization that he cared was still too much to get him regular hours of sleep. Once he was awake, he was stuck thinking about it, and he didn't want to be stuck thinking about it in an empty bed.  
  
The Christmas music was still irritating though, and the amount of people knocking into him was ridiculous. Still, he could keep his footing better than them, making Zoro receive a lot of dirty looks as if he was the one who just pushed them. Stupid Christmas shoppers.  
  
He nudged the blond out of the way of an incoming trolley, figuring he could at least be on lookout if he didn't have anything else to do. Sanji reached out for his next item, depositing it in the already heaped basket Zoro was carrying. He had another basket tucked under just in case; a trolley would have slowed them down a lot, and he could see that that was definitely not what they needed right now. Tempers were running high, and Zoro had already been snapped at twice today for things he didn't mean to do, meaning plenty of arguments between the two. To be fair, it passed the time, although he reasoned that the cook probably wasn't thinking about it like that. He didn't exactly mind the view either when the cook had to reach up high for something or drop down low to get something off a bottom shelf. Zoro briefly thought about whether he would have offered to help if he didn't - if he wasn't - having _feelings_. He probably would have been roped into it anyway, since he was now everyone's go to guy for pretty much anything involving lifting or carrying. He wasn't even being paid for this, but it did mean definitely having a Christmas dinner sorted, having a less temperamental housemate, and being able to subtly spend time with the cook even if it was more stressful than he'd have liked.  
  
"What else do you need?" Zoro asked, figuring it would sound less impatient than "are we done yet".  
  
"I think I have pretty much everything now, although we should probably get drinks and snacks. I know that Luffy’s going to want to start eating as soon as he gets here." Zoro nodded, following him through the isles, careful to avoid all people and children he could accidentally swing his basket into. Again.  
  
They bickered over the snack choices for a while before they figured it was probably just better to get everything, considering the two brothers who could most likely finish the snacks within ten minutes if arriving. He piled his basket high, putting off using the other one until it was absolutely necessary. Zoro wondered how much this was all going to cost; he knew the meat had been expensive, and there was a lot of crap in here. Branded stuff too, because Sanji didn't approve of anything that said 'value' or '[store's] own'. The cook could probably afford it considering how much he'd been stuck at that shitty restaurant recently, but it didn't mean that Zoro didn't feel bad about it.  
  
"Hey, if... If you want, we could get something to eat after this. Relax for a second? You're going to be spending all day in the kitchen tomorrow, you should probably have an afternoon off, right?" Not just because he wanted to buy him lunch and damn it, why did he have to start being nice to the cook _now_ of all times?.  
  
Sanji looked at their basket of food and ran a hand through his hair. "I guess we could. We can't take too long, some of this shit needs to go in the fridge and I need to start getting things ready for tomorrow. Coffee would be good right now, though."  
  
Zoro nodded and followed him towards the tills. He couldn't even tell what direction they were in until the blond started walking, and Zoro kept his eyes trained on the machines in the distance, and not the nice, tightly covered back side in front of him. He felt rude enjoying himself that much when the cook was clearly stressing out.  
  
Zoro bagged up the food as quickly as possible, earning an appreciative look from the blond. It was a lot of effort to get out of the shop, and he could see Sanji getting more and more agitated at his side. Sighing, Zoro grabbed his arm, pretty much barreling through everyone who stood in their way. The cook scowled at him, but Zoro could see the tension dropping. It was worth being a little rude if it meant he could calm the blond down slightly.   
  
He followed Sanji down some quieter streets, decisively turning corners until they found a small, very well hidden coffee shop. The cook obviously knew where he was going; Zoro didn't know this even existed.   
  
"You come here often?" Zoro mentally slapped himself for his phrasing. His ears burned and the cook raised an amused eyebrow.  
  
"It's usually my first stop before picking up food for you idiots. Always quiet enough, good coffee too.” They walked in, the scent of coffee beans and chocolate hitting Zoro like a gust of wind. He heard the cook hum next to him, making his way over to the displays. Zoro spotted what was probably the biggest and most appealing sandwich, pretty much settling on it straight away. So much chicken and bacon. He snapped his eyes away as the blond began to order without him, letting out a disgruntled noise. Sanji held a hand up before he could interrupt, and asked for the sandwich the green haired man was staring at. Zoro closed his mouth and raised an eyebrow. Was he psychic now, too?  
  
"I knew what you were going to pick."  
  
"What if I wanted something different?" He snapped.  
  
"You were eying it up like... Like _Luffy_  and meat. Well, I guess you do spend a lot of time with him." He turned back to the server, and Zoro was glad that they was male if only so that he didn't put up with the cook's stupid compliments and attempts at flirting. He could tell there wasn't always that much intention behind them, but still. It was embarrassing to be around. Something told his that wasn't the only reason he didn't want to be around it right now.  
  
He snatched his wallet from his pocket, throwing down a twenty before the cashier could finish telling them the total. Sanji narrowed his eyes at him but the server was already giving him change. He dropped a couple of coins in the tip jar before shoving his hands back in his pockets, looking anywhere other than at the blond.  
  
Sanji was already looking away again, watching their coffee, no doubt criticizing the staff’s technique or something. He was always judging others people's cooking, and Zoro wondered at what point he started to notice at the blond so much.  
  
He went for their mugs when they were set on the counter, but Sanji batted his hand out of the way. "You get the food, I'll handle the boiling hot liquid."  
  
Zoro gave him an offended look. "I think I can carry a couple of drinks just fine."  
  
"Uh, I _saw_ you spill your coffee everywhere this morning. I need as much caffeine as possible, and there is no way I'm letting you waste it."  
  
Zoro huffed but the cook wasn't being completely unreasonable. They sat down, shopping bags dumped under their table and Zoro slumped his head against the window. This was great right now. Just a chance to relax and not get pushed or snapped at today. He let out a sigh he didn't mean to, and noticed the cook watching him.  
  
"You didn't have to do that," the cook said after a second.  
  
"Do what?"  
  
"Pay. I would have got you all to chip in for the Christmas food if I really needed you to."  
  
"I wasn't - ugh. It's only fair." That didn't sound like he was paying for the cook's lunch just to be nice, which was good but at the same time not good because... Did he want to cook to notice?

Would the blond figure out that Zoro liked him from these... gestures that he couldn't help? Or would he be completely oblivious, seeing it as another thing in their recently changing relationship? Ugh, Zoro really, really wished he'd never realised how he felt because what was he supposed to do now? Was he trying to make this turn into an actual thing, because if not he was making it weird for no reason.  
  
" _Shit_." Zoro jumped as he heard a clang of ceramic meeting wood. He grabbed the fallen mug, setting it upright before too much liquid could leave, and mopping up the table with the napkins in the centre. The cook joined in before leaning back and sighing.  
  
"If you're going to keep doing this, you're going to have to tell me what's wrong."  
  
"Doing what?" Zoro frowned. It wasn't like he _regularly_ knocked mugs over.  
  
"Spacing out on me, moss head. It's like I can see the gears turning in your head."  
  
Shit, was he doing to again? He really needed to stop thinking about the blond right in front of him. He mumbled an apology, before sipping what was left of his coffee.  
  
"I don't want an apology, I want you to talk to me or sort it out yourself."  
  
"You didn't tell _me_ when I asked you to," Zoro bit. Talk about double standards much.  
  
"Except I _am_ dealing with it," Sanji replied cooly. The cook finished his sandwich already and just how long was Zoro spacing out for?  
  
"Except you're not dealing with the sleep part because I _know_ you've been getting back from work just as late as usual, and more often. Don't act like you have this sorted."  
  
"I don't need to deal with the sleep part because I. Am. Fine. I already told you that it's enough hours for me!"  
  
Zoro snorted. "Yeah, right. Don't think I haven't noticed all the extra coffee you've been drinking either, shit cook. I _know_ you wouldn't drink it if you needed it so much.  
  
Sanji looked taken aback for a second before he regained his composure. "I'm still managing to pay attention to other people, though, aren't I?"  
  
"I am paying attention!" He snapped. He was paying too much attention and that was _half_ of the _problem_.  
  
"Whatever. Let's just go, I have stuff to get ready for tomorrow. I don't need you stressing me out as well."  
  
Zoro frowned as he picked his things up. The last thing he intended to do was stress the cook out, but until he figured himself out he suspected he'd find himself spacing out a lot more. Damn it.

He followed behind the cook, staring at the tense shoulders ahead of him before glancing at the floor. Zoro wondered, theoretically, how easy it could be to get over the blond while living with him if these feelings or whatever they were kept getting in the way. Quite hard, probably. The other option was to say or do something about it which only had the two consequences of going Very Great or Very Shit. He was betting on the second option being the most likely, considering how much the blond seemed to go on about women and how he pretty much seemed to hate Zoro until recently. Okay, maybe hate was a strong word, but... He couldn't imagine it though. The cook had been concerned for him though, and he was doing a lot more for him than he pretty much ever had. Except that Zoro had never really needed anything doing for him before, it was this stupid weather and shitty season giving them... opportunities to be nice.  He was trying to see things that weren't there now, and he refused to get pulled into that trap.

And how humiliating would getting rejected by the cook be? It would certainly give him the upper hand, more fuel for when they were arguing and, ugh. Zoro would rather enjoy what they had now than risk them either falling out or the cook terrorising for the rest of his time living with everyone. Sounded like his only real option was to get over him, even though that seemed completely impossible. But... If he wasn't too far gone, maybe he could. Maybe he could concentrate on all of the things that pissed him off, that made the cook off putting and he might see him less in a less romantic light? Except, he couldn't think of anything off the top of his head that really annoyed him _that_ much. Usually it was just smaller stuff that got them into fights that annoyed him, and he enjoyed those fights feelings or no.  
  
Christmas music blared out from his pocket, and Zoro practically jumped. He grabbed the phone, pressing the accept button and holding it to his ear.  
  
"Fucking - shitty moron moss head, I don't even know what - ugh. Where the fuck are you?"  
  
Zoro frowned. The cook... Wasn't in front of him anymore. In fact, no one was; the street he was on was abandoned, few shops around him. He turned around sharply to see if the  other end of the street looked any livelier, but no such luck.  
  
"Uh. Well. I don't think I'm near the centre anymore," he offered. Zoro held the phone away from his ear as the expected tirade of insults blared out, and he waited until it was quieter before he pressed it back to his ear. "I'm sorry, okay? I don't know what happened..."  
  
He heard the blond huff on the other side. "What am I even going to do with you? Right. Can you see a main road anywhere? Or just a normal road?"  
  
Zoro shook his head, aware that the blond couldn't see it. He wandered a few streets, finally coming out near a large warehouse. He let the cook know about the new development, receiving a sigh.  
  
"Right. Don't move from there, not even a tiny bit. I'll come and find you." At that, the cook hung up, and Zoro sat down dejectedly. At this rate he was just pissing the cook off more than anything. He was trying to be nice, helping out and buying the other man lunch, and look where it got him. He should just stop making an effort if he was making things worse. Zoro nodded to himself, finally making a decision. He could get over the cook if he wanted to, and then he wouldn't have to be stuck here worrying about trying to be nice and attempting to guess at what feelings someone else did or didn't have. Life was so much easier before this stupid month happened.  
  
It took ten minutes for the cook to get there, and Zoro chuckled as he was reminded of the cook picking him up after the incident with his ankle.  Sanji wasn’t quite so amused, so he got in quickly, dropping his bags in the back seat and buckling in.

He considered apologising again, but he didn’t expect it to have any effect. He turned on the radio instead, reluctantly leaving it on Christmas songs. It covered a tense silence, and maybe they would lift the blond’s mood to get him ready to prepare for tomorrow? His expression stayed sullen, and Zoro looked for anything to use to make sure that the rest of the day wasn’t dragged down by the cook's shitty mood.

“So what were your Christmases at the Baratie like?” He knew the question sounded like it came out of no where, which it kind of did, but maybe making the cook talk about something he enjoyed would help. He should probably work on his conversation starters, though.

Sanji looked at him, surprised, before turning back to the road. “Uh. Pretty busy, I guess. I’d wake up at five to help get everything ready, get into a few fights with the other staff because they manage to fuck something up every single year, and then me or Zeff had to fix it before it slows down the rest of the kitchen.” He shifted in his seat, and Zoro could see his shoulders relax slightly. “Usually tried to kill the shitty old man once or twice a day, too. It was fucking stressful to be honest and there were one or two years that I considered actually walking out. It was worth it though. Seeing everyone full and happy, seeing all of the guys proud of each other when we finished the day and having the leftovers when we made too much. Half of them fell asleep in their food, the rest would get wasted after that.” Sanji chuckled and Zoro couldn’t help it if the noise made him smile a little.

“So what did _you_ do after that?”

“Me?” Sanji was quiet for a second. “Up until I was 14 I passed out pretty much straight away. After that I joined in with the drinking, also passing out for the first couple of years. The last few years I started helping Zeff out with the business part, sorting out the money and checking what food we’d have left. Then we’d argue some more, clean the kitchen between us, and bed.” His expression was fond, but that wasn’t the sort of answer Zoro was expecting to get. Sure the cook had said earlier that Zeff didn’t exactly do Christmas, and by extension that meant that Sanji didn’t either, but that was kind of... wow.

“You _really_ work too much,” he mumbled.

Sanji just shrugged. “It’s worth it.”

Zoro shook his head. “What are we going to do with you, shit cook?”

“How about sit down, shut up and don’t get in my way?” The blond smirked, and Zoro laughed. He could do two of those things, sure, but there was no way he was just going to sit down while the cook worked and everyone else got to relax. No, the cook was getting his help this year whether he wanted it or not.

  
  


 


	20. Mistletoe

Zoro grumbled at carrying the heavy bags, if only make conversation and make sure the shit cook keeps on giving him the heavy ones. It wasn't like he particularly enjoyed it, but he did have the upper arm strength, and he's not the one planning to work himself to the bone for the next 24 hours.

He laughed at the cook as Sanji struggled to get his key in the door, under the plastic bags he carried. This started off another small argument, but a playful one, and Zoro grinned as he found the blond sufficiently distracted from the stress he was showing earlier. He may not be planning on making any moves, but that didn't mean he didn't want the cook get in a better mood.

Sat on the sofa, Luffy and Usopp watched them carry the bags through the room without so much of an offer of help. Not that Zoro particularly expected it, but still. He carried on hauling the food in as the cook stayed in the kitchen to put away, since apparently Zoro didn't have the sense of direction to find the right cupboard. Whatever. It was the cook's own fault for being so anal about everything.

He was just about to the kitchen door when Luffy shouted his name excitedly.

"Stay where you are!"

Zoro raised an eyebrow. "Uh. Okay?"

"Hold on a minute. Thanks!" Luffy and Usopp grinned at each other and Zoro sighed. He didn't really want to know what they were up to.

"Oi, moss head, stop dawdling!" The cook stalked over, reaching out for the oversized bag of potatoes in Zoro's hand. It froze half way there as Luffy made an extremely excited noise.

"Stop! Look! Looooook!" He pointed above them, and it took Zoro a second to realise what it was that they were pointing at.

Mistletoe.

_Fucking_ mistletoe.

"Luffy," Zoro growled.

"We don't have all day," the cook raised an eyebrow. He pressed a chaste kiss to Zoro's lips, before picking up the potatoes Zoro hadn't realised he dropped.

He was going to _kill_ Luffy. Usopp, too.

He moved before anyone could make a comment - he could see Usopp open his mouth to say something, and nope, not while the cook was so near. He shuffled into the kitchen, glad that the cook's back was turned to him and couldn't see the red blush creeping across Zoro's face.

"Um. So do you need me to do anything else? The bags are all here, so..." 

The cook threw his keys at Zoro without turning round. "Lock the door then, idiot. Both doors. Think I'm okay for anything else."

Zoro nodded at Sanji's backside, taking a deep breath before walking back out. He glared at the two younger boys giggling at him, and Zoro pretty much threw himself out of the doorway.

The cold air was welcome, and he took a deep breath as he leaned against Sanji's car. So, that was a thing that just happened. 

Zoro didn't know why he was freaking out that much. It wasn't like it was a real kiss; the boys threw them under the mistletoe, and everyone knew that once Luffy had an idea he wouldn't let go of it. The cook had gone along with it and left.

Except he could have kissed him on the cheek instead and probably got away with it, so it was the cook's choice to kiss him on the lips. That also meant that it was the cook's choice to _barely_ kiss him, so. Zoro was just freaking out for nothing, because... Ugh. This was easier when the cook was hostile and he didn't have to guess if he was just being nice or... More.

Chaste or not, Zoro knew that this fucked up his whole 'getting over plan'; how was he supposed to stop imagining that being a real kiss when he had a very good place to start from?

He let his head drop onto the glass of the blue car. Well, there was only one way to stop him from going crazy. He needed to get the cook back under that mistletoe and kiss him properly. It wasn't like the blond could decline, and Zoro could figure out whether this new thing between them was platonic on the cook's end or not, fuck the consequences.

He locked the car doors and boot before locking the front door behind him. Luffy and Usopp were talking quietly between them, stopping to give Zoro a devious grin.

He wouldn't ask. He didn't want to know and he had plans; he could always interrogate the two later. He didn't know if that's because they suspected Zoro's... affections (although Luffy possibly already did and it wouldn't be surprising for him to be gossiping to the it boy about it) or simply just fucking with him. If this was a month ago, he probably would have expected a fight at just the suggestion that they should kiss, which was always a show appreciated by the younger two. They still seemed pleased with themselves though, so perhaps not.

"Hey, don't you two have, uh, stuff to do upstairs?"

"Nope, we're fine here," Luffy grinned.

"I'll sneak you some food up in a bit if you go." Okay, if his reaction to the cook wasn't making it obvious before, then he was pretty sure that it was now but if he was going to do anything, he definitely didn't want an audience.

"Okay!" Luffy grabbed the other boy by the wrist, pulling him upstairs. Zoro sighed in relief and sat down for a second. So, was the easiest way to go about this to get the cook to come into the room and meet him at the door? Well, that made it fucking obvious. Then again, kissing him how Zoro wanted to would definitely put all doubts aside, so that wouldn't matter. Still, couldn't he be a little more subtle? Maybe leave it for a while and try to guess when the cook was going to leave. And making his way to the door just before that? Or he could try moving the mistletoe to somewhere they'd both have reasons to be near, although the cook might notice that it's moved, and considering only Zoro was downstairs and could have moved it, maybe not. What else? He could literally just take the mistletoe and hold it above them both, but if there was a situation where Sanji would reject him, it would be there. Fair enough if they just end up under it (even if it was intentional) but the cook might think that Zoro was just fucking with _him_ , or if he definitely didn't reciprocate feelings, he could say it was cheating to hold it over someone yourself.

Shit. None of those options sounded right. He even considered hanging the mistletoe over the back door, and corner the blond when he came back in from smoking, say he was looking for him for some reason and then 'notice' the mistletoe above them. Better, but. Not quite.

Maybe he was going about this wrong. Maybe he should let it just happen, and if they ended up under it at the same time they would kiss, and if they didn't and he'd have to deal. Except he really wanted to kiss the cook as he played through the scenarios in his head. Damn it, why did Luffy and Usopp have to start something like this? He was happy in his ignorance. Kind of.

Luffy and Usopp. If anyone could make anything happen sneakily, it was them. Well, more Usopp than Luffy, but Luffy was useful as a distraction.

Except... That would mean admitting to them that he wanted to kiss Sanji. He would never hear the _end_ of it, except if they did already know and this was on purpose... Then maybe they'd help. Hell, maybe they'd have even more ideas up their sleeves.

Maybe he should test the waters before doing something so extreme. Figure out if he could predict the cook's reaction by, maybe... Flirting. Except, Zoro didn't really flirt. Or at least, not on purpose; he didn't know how these things went. He never really noticed other people doing it either. Well, except for the blond's poor attempts with women, although that could barely be called flirting and he was definitely doing nothing like that.

He thought back to everything in the past month that the cook had done to fluster him. It was all still kind of blurry, but... Okay, innuendos definitely, they also wouldn't be too obvious but it might just seem more like a joke. Although if he made an innuendo about something to do with both of them... Possibly. So what else? The groping, accidental or not at the party the they day, but he didn't have Sanji's lighter... He did have the cook's keys though, so that could be an idea. A really fucking obvious one, seeing as though he usually would have just threw them on the table. Well, he could save that idea anyway. Fuck, nothing was sounding right, but considering he never usually had this problem, Zoro didn't know what right would sound like.

Sighing, he headed into the kitchen and decided to just take whatever opportunity he found for now and hope something came out of it. All of this plan crap was hurting his head.

Zoro hovered awkwardly around the door before making a beeline to the fridge. A drink was always a good reason to be in the kitchen, right?

"Hey shit cook, you want anything?"

"No, thank you." Sanji kept his eyes trained on the millions of plates in front of him and Zoro was dismayed at... Well, the lack of attention.

He finished his juice, slipping past the cook to the sink and dropping his glass in. He nudged Sanji to move further along the counter but the blond just nudged him back. Zoro grinned, more than happy to turn this into some kind of scuffle, but Sanji just held a hand up, face screwed up in concentration. Well, that was disappointing. He wasn't about to piss off the cook just for this... but maybe that would be some way to get a reaction, doing something to piss him off? Or it could be a really bad idea and ruin the whole kitchen. He shook his head and started into the sink. There must be something to do to get the cook's attention, he wasn't allowed to help and suggestions of playful violence weren't working...

"Oi." The cook was looking at him with a quirked eyebrow. "What's so interesting about that sink? Move over moss head, you're slowing me down."

"Shut up, shitty cook." He didn't move though, grin forming on his face. "It's a nice sink. What if I just want to stay here and admire it for a while?"

Sanji looked distinctly unimpressed.

Zoro turned the tap on, just to show that he was doing something.

" _Move_ , you shitty Christmas tr

"I'm pretty sure Christmas trees can't move," his grin got wider, and maybe pissing off the cook was a fun idea, at least.

Sanji just stared at him with slightly narrowed eyes. "Really. After all the trouble you caused me today?"

Zoro's grin faltered slightly, but he stayed where it was. "You still did everything you needed to, it wasn't that bad."

"You - ugh. Just move, and if you space out one more time I'm kicking you through that fucking window, moss head."

"I wasn't -" and okay, yeah, maybe he was. "Whatever." He sat down dejectedly, watching as the cook moved into his place and began cleaning the fancy plates that Zoro was pretty sure were already sparkling.

Okay, so pissing him off got a reaction. He needed to annoy the cook off with something that he wouldn't turn back on Zoro, because he was not having the 'spaced out conversation' again today.

He felt an idea forming, and it sounded kind of silly, but... Fun. He made his way up the stairs, past the loud sounds of some Nintendo game up the stairs to his own room. Zoro grabbed his guitar and flew back down.

He sat himself down at the table, throwing his legs up and plucking a few strings. Zoro frowned. That was slightly out. He spent a couple of minutes retuning, still being completely blanked by the cook. Whatever.

Zoro started strumming something upbeat, a random melody that was easy to stick to.

"Shit cook's in a mood; he's really fucking rude; he should make me some food-"

The blond turned back to him with a slightly incredulous look on his face, so Zoro carried on. Hopefully his quick improv skills would keep working.

"But instead he's concentrating; on this shitting thing he's making; I can't believe all the space he's taking-"

Sanji folded his arms, leaning completely against the sink to face him. Zoro could see the smile threatening to form on his face, though.

"His eyebrow's fucking curly, it's really kind of girly-" he jumped up, moving away from the cook's kick. "And I have to get up early, probably at fucking five thirty, because of... Usopp and Luffy, that kid's kind of goofy, and the other's hair is poofy, I'm running out of lines, shit, how do I rhyme, uh, I'll back away in a line, cuz the cook's giving me a sign, he wants to kick my butt with his foot-" he grinned as he hopped backwards, narrowly avoiding the next kick, even though the cook was grinning. He cursed as the guitar got stuck in the doorway and there was no way he could dodge the next kick aimed at him. It hit him in the knee and shit, that _hurt_ , but now the cook was standing over him arms crossed once again.

"Your lyrics were entertaining, I'll give you that, but stop distracting me, you bastard."

Zoro grinned, standing upright again. "What's the matter? The cook can't listen to super awesome music at the same time as doing things?"

"You're an idiot," the blond shook his head fondly. He turned to move when Zoro realised where they were.

"Oi!" Okay, maybe that was a little too loud for how close they stood. Sanji scowled at him, but Zoro offered a shit eating grin in return. "Look. Mistletoe." The cook barely had a chance to look up when Zoro caught his lips with his own. Why didn't he have a guitar strap? Damn it, he had to hold this stupid thing instead of pulling the cook closer, but he couldn't be all mad at it considering that it was what brought them here. He pressed deeper, memorising the shape and feel of Sanji's lips in case this was the last time he got to touch them.

The cook's eyes closed after a second, and he laughed into the kiss as he pulled closer. He wrapped a hand around Zoro's own, resting it on the fretboard and letting the kiss deepen for a little longer. 

"Stupid idiot moss head." He was smiling, his cheeks tinged pink, and Zoro nearly whined as he pulled away. "Have you been hovering around here all afternoon just to do this?"

"Mayyyybe." Zoro grinned bashfully, hoping his cheeks weren't as red as they felt.

"Aww, that's sweet. The little Christmas tree wants my attention." He smirked, before pressing another small kiss to Zoro's lips. "Now get the fuck out of the kitchen, you're already distracting me enough."

Zoro backed out of the kitchen, his mouth comically wide. Okay, so maybe being banished from the kitchen - from Sanji - wasn't what he was going for, but this, this was definitely a victory. Stupid shitty cook kissed him back. Zoro wanted to just run back in there and not let go, not until their lips were sore and shiny, but he had been distracting to cook and stressing out the cook and generally getting in the way recently though... So maybe he could wait a little longer.

Ha, yeah right.

 


	21. Cider/Eggnog

"Oi, I'm trying to carry hot drinks here, get your hands off me you dumb moss head. In fact, you grab the other two. Be fucking _careful_."

"Whatever, shit cook." Zoro grabbed the other two mugs, grinning ear from ear. He couldn't remember the last time he felt this giddy. All of him was calling out to just touch the cook, to drag him away and enjoy what he'd been missing all this time. Unfortunately that was inappropriate right now, and the cook was still concentrating on being a fucking waiter.

"Luffy, this is hot so give it a minute to cool down." The blond set two mugs down in front of the younger boys, taking his own seat at the other side of the sofa. Zoro passed him his own mug, brushing his fingers over the cook's and earning a small laugh in return.

He took a sip from his drink. "Wait, this is what you were making? Is this -"

"Hot spiced cider." Sanji looked smug. "I have more for later. I'm thinking of making some tomorrow too, but I think people would probably prefer cold drinks with the main meal."

"Hm." Zoro took another sip, letting it warm him throat. "It's good. I could drink it tomorrow."

"This is really nice Sanji, can I have another mug? Pleaseee?" 

"Let me finish my own, first. Impatient."

Luffy pouted, empty mug placed in front of him. "Hey, Usopp, you gonna finish that?"

The curly haired not quite man, not quite boy paused with the mug just about at his lips. "Uh, what does it look like, Luffy?"

"Ughhh. Sanji!"

The cook rolled his eyes before getting up. "Fine. Put some music on or something, will you? _Oh_. I know. Moss head can play something while I get some more."

"I can play what?" Zoro raised an eyebrow.

"That thing you did before, when you made some stuff up. I think they'd enjoy it."

"Like you did?" He smirked. Sanji rolled his eyes, mouth slightly upturned. Zoro followed the cook to the kitchen, passing him the empty mugs. He pulled the blond in close when they were out of the boys' line of sight. Zoro pressed a soft kiss to his lips, returned by the Sanji for a second before he pulled away. 

"You're really enjoying this, aren't you? Don't get carried away now, we have that pair of idiots to entertain." 

Zoro sighed as the cook left him to pour more cider. If only Luffy and Usopp had conveniently been out tonight...

He picked up his guitar, making his way back to the living room and flopped himself down. Zoro played a couple of chords before he settled on a combination and pattern that he liked.  

"So it's Christmas Eve, and Luffy won't leave - the presents alone, we should have known-"

"That's awesome! Is it a real song?"

Zoro paused playing to give Luffy a flat look. "Yes. That is completely a real song."

"So cool!" The boy's mouth was so wide that Zoro had to laugh.

"Hey, Zoro, could you do that about other things? Like-"

"Us fighting Dinosaurs!" Luffy yelled.

Zoro scratched his head. "I guess so, I can't guarantee I'll be able to rhyme all the time, but I'll give it a go I don't usually do this on command." He shifted to give the returning cook some space on the sofa, before starting on a slightly faster melody. 

 "There once was a huge dinosaur, who ate everything he saw - sorry, that was kind of cheating - until one day, two people made their way, to the dinosaur lair. The dino tried to eat them, but he could not defeat them - after one of Luffy's kicks, it was down like a ton of bricks, and Usopp's slingshot made sure he could not, eat people again. Ugh, sorry, that was kind of shit. I'm not singing about dinosaurs again." 

"That was awesome!" Luffy was still grinning, and even Usopp was chuckling, well, that was good enough. He did need to work on his improvised lyrics, though.

They had goes and turns at making up lyrics to whatever melodies Zoro could find, except for the cook who point blank refused. Zoro pointed out how it was his own fault for starting it, but he decided not to push it from the embarrassed look on the cook's face. Sanji brought another round in, slightly cooler this time as they watched Luffy downing his straight away. Too much time spent with Ace. And Shanks.

"This is really nice stuff," Usopp giggled. "More!"

Zoro looked incredulously at him. "Is this affecting you already?"

"I did make it kind of strong," the blond mused. "Plus, he doesn't usual drink this quickly - Luffy either. Oops."

Zoro shook his head. "Well, thank god we're already at home because I am not dragging any drunk idiots around this time."

"Oi!" The cook jabbed him roughly in the ribs.

"Apparently you were quite out of it, Sanji." Usopp grinned from the other end of the sofa, and Zoro could feel Sanji getting ready to get up and kick, even if it was (hopefully) in a playful way. "Didn't Zoro have to carry you?"

"Okay, no more drinks for anyone," The cook announced.

"Wait-"

"But Sanjiiii," Luffy's expression was almost pitiful, and the cook sighed.

"Fine, but slow down and remember, everyone, I control the food here. I can always decide to change to, oh, I don't know, a more vegetarian diet if I so feel like it." Sanji looked smugly at the three looks of horrors in front of him. He... Would probably do it for a while, if he was mad enough. That was not somewhere Zoro wanted to venture into.

"Sooo, let's play a game or something?" Stay on the cook's good side and help distract the younger two. Sounded like a decent plan to Zoro. 

"MARIOKART!"

Zoro winced at the shouting right in his ear. The other two nodded in agreement, and Usopp distributed controllers as they settled down to play.

"Beforrreee we start, I have a suggestion. A drinking suggestion, since Sanji has all of this _wonderful_ cider." Usopp grinned. "Whichever of us gets first place doesn't have to drink - second place drinks once, third place drinks twice and fourth place drinks three times."

"That's... not half bad." Plus, he wouldn't exactly complain about a drunk cook, considering the situation it left him in last time. 

"I appreciate that you like my drinks, really but we have to have some rules if you want to do that. One, drink whatever I tell you before you go to sleep. Two, eat whatever I tell you to before you go to sleep. And three, behave, I don't want to have to make you all clean up the place instead of opening presents if you trash it." Sanji ignored Luffy's sad face.

" What if you're too drunk to tell them what to eat or drink?" Zoro grinned.

"I won't be, but if something like that was to somehow happen, I would like to think that you would sort it out," he scowled. "I don't want any hangovers tomorrow or even any hint of one, okay?"

"Hangovers! Please, have a little faith in us, Sanji!"

Sanji raised an eyebrow at Usopp, who recoiled away from him. "Okay," Zoro cut in. "Do we have enough booze for this?"

The cook thought for a second. "We have a little more left, but I can whip something up, or at least find some bottles of something. Have a couple of races without me."

"Because _that's_ not an excuse for you to drink less than us,'" Zoro snorted. He received a rather rude gesture as the cook left the room.

 The Mariokart races were even more competitive than usual if possible, though no one was quite at the swear loudly at everything part yet. That may have half been because Sanji usually started that.

Luffy was slightly worse off by the time the cook came back with a few cans of beer, a bottle of vodka and coke. Zoro noticed he didn't have wine this time. 

"Remind me in a bit, I've got some eggnog chilling in fridge. Since it's Christmas eve, you're drinking it whether you like it or not, got it?"

Zoro rolled his eyes, shifting over for the cook. He left his arm resting against Sanji's, even though that would be a terrible idea in a minute.

Soon the drama started, screaming coming from every direction which was, to be honest, extremely distracting.

"You fucking - did you just blue shell me, you shit for brains fucking ball of moss? Damn it, I am going to fuck you up so bad - oh, look, you're last you fucking moron, you _deserve_ that. Fuck's sake."

Zoro snickered, turning his controller wildly so that the blond's view of the screen was half obscured. He received an elbow in the face for that, but it was worth it.

The race continued loudly and violently for at least another hour, drinks going down maybe a little too quickly. Zoro was starting the feel a tiny bit of a buzz, but he knew his tolerance was so much better than the other housemates that he could have been last in every race and still come out better than them. Thankfully that wasn't what happened, but it made things a little more entertaining from his point of view. Usopp was now pretty much slumped over the sofa, Luffy leaning on him while he played some solo races, and the cook was slightly red cheeked, watching with arms crossed and shouting abuse at the CPUs every now and then. It was pretty fun; maybe Zoro didn't mind Christmas as much as he thought. Maybe.

" _Fucker_! Did you see that, Bowser nearly fucking knocked him off the damn track, that bastard-"

"Shh, curly brow, not that loud."

"Sorry," Sanji mumbled, standing up. "Mariokart just makes me - ugh. I'm getting something else to drink."

Zoro took that as his chance to make a subtle escape, no longer needed in the room. How followed the cook into the kitchen, pulling him closer by his belt loops once he was sure that Luffy was concentrating on the screen and not looking through the doorway. He pressed a soft kiss to the blond's jaw, receiving a small hum in response. Sanji let him hold on as he made his way over the the fridge, grabbing one of the jugs of eggnog chilling in the fridge.

"What, no fancy presentation tonight?"

"I don't want to have a ton more things to clean up later or tomorrow, and I'm tired. Sue me."

"Can't I do something a little more interesting?" Zoro grinned into the back of his neck.

"You cheeky moss headed idiot." He could hear the amusement in the cook's voice, and Zoro let go of him for long enough to pour a couple more drinks. He was passed one, and Zoro took a good long sip.

"Are you actually _trying_ to get everyone drunk, shit cook?"

" _No_ ," Sanji frowned. "You knew there would be alcohol in this, right?"

"I'm not _dumb_ ," Zoro replied to an expression that implied that was debatable. "This is just really strong."

"No it's not?" Sanji took another sip of his own. "I can barely taste it."

Zoro shoved his own drink at Sanji, spilling a little on him. The blond have him a disgruntled look as he pushed the drink away. "I still don't taste much, you idiot."

"Strange." Zoro took another sip of his own, and it still tasted strong. He shrugged, continuing to drink as they bickered. It ended up being a contest to see who could drink the most and not feel the effects, since Sanji was adamant that it was only weak and Zoro knew that even if it _was_ strong, he could handle it.

Both ended up a little rosier than intended, tangled up against the table and forcing more eggnog down the other's throat.

 


	22. Reindeer

"I'll get it!" Luffy zoomed past, perking up at the idea of having a guest. Zoro couldn't place who it might be right now, but with his hand wrapped in the cook's hair, he wasn't particularly bothered.

"CHOPPER!"

"Oh yeah, I forgot he was coming over tonight; something about it being much easier than trying to get here in the morning, since I wouldn't really have time to drive him." Sanji gently untangled himself, leading Zoro into the living room. 

Chopper was great and everything, but now the younger guys were starting to get livelier again, which meant no chance to sneak off with the cook. Damn it.

Chopper was stood at the door, face painted with a little blue nose and antlers sticking out of his hair.

"You guys dressed up when you came over so, uh, I thought I should dress up for you." The younger boy blushed, and Zoro had to smile.

"Wowww! You look awesome, Chopper! Hey, _guys_ , I think we should _all_ dress up again! Usopp, get the things!"

"Nyuhhh," came a possibly already hungover voice. Still, the long nosed boy disappeared up the stairs.

"I'm not dressing up," Zoro mumbled, receiving an elbow from the blond.

"It's Christmas Eve, and Chopper put effort into dressing up for this. Plus, you bailed last time, so you can't get out of this." Sanji looked smugly up at him. The cook's cheeks were still pink from the cider and eggnog and whatever else he managed to drink, silky hair not quite as flat and in position as he usually kept it. Zoro couldn't decide if it looked more sexy or cute, but he wasn't sure he could say no to him either way.

The festive headbands were shoved on them much rougher than necessary, although Zoro was impressed that Luffy could even reach high enough in the first place. He fought the urge to take the band off, elbowing Sanji back as the blond giggled.

"Hey, you should stand next to the tree, I bet we wouldn't be able to tell which is which," Sanji smirked. 

"Shut up, curly brow. Maybe I should just put you on top of the tree since you're an angel, see how you like _that_."

"Usopp is also a tree topper, maybe he should get a say in this. Wait.. Ha. That gives me an idea." The blond pushed down on Zoro's shoulder, and he gave Sanji a very confused look. "Ugh, just... Nevermind, I can do it myself." All of a sudden he felt a heavy weight on his back, and legs curled around his hips as the blond's arms rested over his shoulders. Zoro nearly stumbled as he adjusted to the weight. Okay, he was a little impressed that the cook managed to jump high enough with him standing straight up, but that would have been much easier if he'd have just told him what he was planning. He wanted to complain about the weight that was making him slightly instead, but Zoro knew that he could lift heavier. He was going to deny that the eggnog had anything to do with this temporary weakness.

"Hey! Look! Sanji's the angel on top of the tree!" Usopp and Luffy giggled, and Chopper looked up at them with a huge grin on his face.

"Hey, hey, wait - I need a picture!" Usopp dashed off, the star on his headband swinging madly. He looked kind of ridiculous too, so Zoro couldn't be all that annoyed. Luffy looked both silly and cute, and Chopper - Chopper probably won in the costume department, looking like the sweetest little reindeer - not that he'd say that out loud. He would have to say that the cook came a close second though, his light blond hair and bright blue eyes just... made the costume look good. Not that he had a thing for angels, but... Ugh.

"Say cheese!" Zoro only just had time to look over before the flash went off, and he stumbled back a step as the bright light killed his eyes. He felt the cook squeeze his legs tighter around the green haired man, hand held against the wall for balance which Zoro did kind of appreciate.

"Okay, are you quite done yet?"

"Uh, no." He felt the cook laugh into his ear, and it was all Zoro could to to stop himself from turning his head, only slightly, and meeting the blond's lips. Not here though; he could refrain from doing it in public while he was still unsure what... Well, what this situation even was. So far they'd had a few hours since they first kissed, so all boundaries and feelings about this were as of yet unknown. They should probably talk about that later.

Luffy suggested climbing atop Usopp's shoulders and seeing who could knock the other down first, at which point the cook hopped down as quick as anything. 

"You're no fun. Can you at least make me some food if you won't let me enjoy myself?"

Sanji sighed. "Fine. It would probably do you good, I suppose."

"Says you, shit cook, I saw you steady yourself there," Zoro grinned. He dodged a kick, leaping backwards into the kitchen. 

"I was not steadying myself because of that you idiot, I was was recovering from jumping off a six foot man."

"Like you'd ever need to do that normally."

"Right, no food for Zoro," Sanji called throughout the living room. The younger boys snickered, and Zoro could hear Chopper pleading with the cook to let everyone eat.

The drama died down before a real fight could come of it. Zoro hovered around the cook, just to see if his earlier hypothesis was true and the blond could cook in any state, very nearly drunk or not. Sanji was steady as anything, face drawn in concentration as he worked. He wouldn't really want to admit it to the cook, if only to stop him getting cocky... but he was pretty impressed. That, and the cook looked even more attractive, putting all of that energy and enjoyment into something. Zoro found himself, for the millionth time, trying to stop himself from touching the cook. Damn it.

They stayed at the table for a while after eating, cards coming out and having a few friendly rounds of Blackjack before it evolved into a violent game of Irish Snap. The cook disappeared at one point only to return with a bottle of wine. The green haired man raised an eyebrow, ending up with a glass anyway. Sanji kept the drink well away from the younger boys who were starting to look sleepy now, Chopper included. He may not have been over for long, but they were a tiring bunch to be around

"Sanji, is it okay if I start setting up the sofa for bed? I don't usually stay up this late," the younger boy blushed.

"Oh, I had an idea about that." Sanji sat his glass down. "I'm going to be awake before any of you, since there's cleaning to be done and stuff to get ready in the morning. I don't really want to wake you up that early, so I was thinking that you could take my bed and I could take the sofa tonight if you're comfortable with that."

"You don't have to go out do your way to do that for me!" Choppers face was even more pink around his scandalised expression. "Being nice won't make me happy!"

"It's fine. I'm closer to the kitchen this way. I'll bring your stuff up now."

 The antler clad boy mumbled a thanks, trailing behind the blond. Zoro had to say, that was pretty nice of the cook. Although he should probably actually have a decent bed to sleep in, considering that he'd be up early and working all day tomorrow, and probably wasn't that well rested... Hmm.

He waited for the cook's return before snagging his arm and pulling him over. Luffy and Usopp were making their way up stairs, so he didn't have to worry about them listening in.

"What do you think you're doing, shitty cook?"

"I don't know what you mean," Sanji raised an eyebrow. "I'm being polite to our guest, moss head."

Zoro snorted. "After having less sleep all this week - which you _can't_ deny - you're offering to sleep on the sofa, which is a million times less comfy than a bed, _unnecessarily_?" Sure, being polite was nice but the kid could easy deal with sleeping on a sofa for one night.

"Like I said, I have to get up early anyway. Plus, sleeping on the couch isn't always uncomfortable..."

Zoro narrowed his eyes at the blond, and Sanji only smirked at him. So that was his game, was it?

"Beds are still more comfortable. We have plenty of them in the house."

Sanji shifted, not quite looking at him. "I'm sleeping on the sofa tonight, and getting up early. "

Okay, yeah, boundaries. Right. It would probably be better not to bring that stuff up before they knew exactly what was happening. 

"Whatever. I'm going to get changed and then be back to finish that wine, shit cook. Don't go to sleep just yet."

The blond rolled his eyes, pushing Zoro towards the stairs. "You better hurry up before I finish it myself."

It took Zoro barely more than five minutes to get himself changed and thundering back down the stairs, but somehow the cook was already in his own plaid pyjamas. The bottle of wine was on the table, two glasses either side of it and the cook half huddled under the blanket in the corner of the sofa.

"How the fuck were you so fast?" Zoro poured two glasses, settling himself down under the other half of the blanket.

"Some of us actually know how to be efficient," Sanji grinned. He accepted a glass, and they sat half watching some violent fantasy film until the bottle was finished. Zoro felt slightly warmer, the cook next to him already melting into his shoulder.

He plucked the empty glass out of the blond's hand, setting it along with his own on the table. Zoro pulled the blanket off the back of the sofa where it had stayed since last time they were both here, pulling the cook closer to himself. Sanji sighed contently, shifting to let the green haired man lie down instead. The cook settled himself against Zoro' resting his head on the other man's shoulder.

This was good, Zoro smiled into the blond hair ticking at his chin, leaning down to press a soft kiss to the blond's lips. Sanji let his hand rest on Zoro's chest as he returned the kiss, letting the green haired man delve deeper. Zoro moved an arm under Sanji's head, using it to brush through silky locks. The blond hummed. 

"This is nice," he said sleepily.

Zoro chuckled, resting his other hand on the cook's hip.

"Yeah. I didn't think I'd appreciate those two's little mistletoe trick so much but I guess it worked out well."

"Do you think they know?" Sanji opened a blue eye.

"They definitely assumed something was up before... Not sure how long it will be until they realise what they did though." It would be nice to have a little peace, considering how giddy they tended to get about things.

 Sanji smiled. "Well, let's just get through the rest of the holiday before we worry about them, then?" 

Zoro felt the weight of the blond settle completely against his arm and chest, and he pulled the blanket further up. "Uh huh. No worrying. Got it."

 He felt the cook chuckle against him. "Night, moss head."

 "Night, shit cook."

 


	23. Presents

"Oi, moss head, let me _up_. I don't want to have to kick you awake."

Zoro groaned at the voice in his ear. What time was it even? He pulled the blond closer, trapping him between both arms. Sanji huffed, and Zoro let out a chuckle as the cook squirmed.

"I'm serious you idiot, some of us have things we need to do before certain people start messing the place up again. _Move_."

Zoro grinned sleepily, keeping his hands locked into place. "'M not letting go until I get a kiss. At least." He saw half an eye roll from the one part of the blond's face not obscured with messy blond hair. Seeing the cook look so ruffled was cute.

Sanji stopped squirming and let himself drop to Zoro's chest. "I _suppose_ I could do that. You have to promise to let me up though, seriously."

Zoro mumbled something that may have been an agreement. He leaned down to reach the cook, earning himself a small, soft kiss.

"Hey, that's cheating. Want a proper one." 

"It's not exactly like I can _move_ enough for that."

Zoro released the cook hesitantly. The blond cupped Zoro's jaw and pulled himself up enough to give a deeper kiss. Zoro moved his hands to the cook's hips, holding the blond above himself in case he tried to escape again. There was no way he could let Sanji go that early when they had a day of inevitable interruptions ahead of them.

"Well, now I know how much your promises mean," the blond smirked. He sat up, resting his hands on the other man's chest. "I guess I shouldn't have expected anything less after your behaviour yesterday."

"Hey! I behaved!" It wasn't like he distracted the cook _that_ much. Whatever. He had no excuse right now; Zoro knew that Sanji could get his stuff done in half the time he gave himself, if he needed to. He was pretty sure that this counted as a situation where he needed to.

He leaned up to meet to cook, trailing soft kisses down his neck as the blond titled his head out of reach. 

Sanji rolled his eyes, before allowing a himself a few kisses of his own. "You've been nothing but trouble this whole month, yet you're still not letting up. I'm-" he sighed into Zoro's mouth. "I'm expecting better behaviour next month, otherwise no more of this."

"Sure, sure," Zoro muttered. His lips followed the cook's at the blond climbed off him. 

"Now, stay put while I sort everything out." He pushed Zoro back down, sliding out of the way before the larger man could grab him

Sanji smirked, before walking towards kitchen. "Merry Christmas, idiot."

 

-

 

Zoro drifted in and out of consciousness as he listened to the sounds of the cook moving around the kitchen, washing up things and pulling stuff out of cupboards. They were probably some of the sounds he most associated with Sanji, and he fell asleep again with a slight smile on his face.

 

-

 

"CHRISTMASSSSSSSSS!"

 

 Zoro gasped into wakefulness, ready to launch the heavy weight that landed on him away from him. Fortunately he realised who it was before he did, and Zoro sat back to catch his breath.

"Geez, Luffy, did you really have to do that?"

"But it's Christmas!" Luffy's grin was so wide that Zoro couldn't stay annoyed. He moved over so that Luffy had room to perch himself next to him, and Chopper appeared from the other side of the sofa.

"Merry Christmas, Zoro. Hey, how come you're sleeping on the couch?"

"Uh. I fell asleep waiting for you two to come down?" The others nodded at his answer, and Zoro gave himself a mental high five. There was no need to say anything that may lead to awkward questions.

Usopp trailed down a minute later, looking slightly worse for wear. He set himself down on the other side of the tree, presumably to be away from the noise Luffy was making.

"What did I tell you about drinking water?" The cook shook his head at the younger boy, carrying in a tray of hot drinks. "You better be careful with these. If you can wait until you've finished them to open your presents, great, if not, well know I'm not holding my breath about it."

Zoro accepted his coffee, holding it as far away from Luffy as possible. The younger boy bounced off his seat on the sofa, placing himself nearly under the tree. 

"No way am I waiting! Usopp, catch!"

The gift very nearly hit Usopp's tea, and Sanji gave the hyperactive boy a disapproving look. Luffy only grinned, but threw the next present he could find slightly softer at its recipient.

The three youngest all sat under the tree, eagerly tearing off the only barriers between them and their Christmas booty. Zoro found himself thankful that they were doing it this way; he didn't know whether to expect the awkward 'one person at a time and look at their reaction' thing, which' quite frankly, sounded horrible. He let his shoulder rest casually against the cook's, who smiled up from his own coffee.

He chuckled at some of the more jokey presents from some of the younger group, appreciating the thought that went into them. He paused at the cook's gift. It was a long box, and considering it was definitely before the mistletoe thing, and possibly when they still weren't getting along too well, he wondered what it was.

"Shit. Seriously? This is... This is _good_ stuff." He turned the bottle of sake around, examining the kanji on the back. This was... Extremely thoughtful. He hadn't had sake for a long time, never mind stuff this good. Now Zoro was really glad he didn't get Sanji that eyebrow trimmer as a joke present.

"I'm glad you like it," Sanji hummed. He picked up his own gift, feeling the weight of it before opening it.

"Uh. I don't think - mine isn't quite as good as yours, I didn't think... Well. It was different then, I-"

"Stop your babbling," the cook shook his head. "I appreciate that you got me _anything_." Yeah, definitely glad that the eyebrow trimmers were a no go.

Zoro kept his mouth shut as the cook unwrapped it. It was hard to buy presents for people, okay. In the end he just went for something that kind of sounded like something the cook would enjoy.

"Oh! Thanks, this is good, I'll-"

"Sorry it's as good as yours. I don't know what-"

" _Zoro_." Sanji looked at him, and the green haired man trailed off. "Stop apologising. I really like it; do you realise how much coffee I will probably be drinking today just to deal with you lot? These are going to be great. In fact, I'm having some now if you want some?" He balled the wrapping paper up before throwing it towards the group of boys under the tree. It bounced off Luffy's head, but the boy was too engrossed in his new video game to even react. The blond picked up the box of flavored syrups, and Zoro pulled himself up to meet him.

"Okay. Thanks. But just so you know..." He shot a look to the distracted guys before leaning slightly closer to the cook's ear. "I can give you a _much_ better present tonight."

Sanji made a choking sound, and Zoro wandered into the kitchen, grinning.

"Well, cook? You coming?"

 


	24. Christmas Day

He was already banned from the kitchen four times in the last hour and a half, and Zoro found himself really fucking bored. He played a few more songs for Luffy, Usopp and Chopper as they enjoyed their shiny new things, but he could only do that for so long. Zoro needed to do something else. He was showered, dressed, hell, even his room was tidy - it was Christmas, he could be optimistic about things that may involve his room and perhaps other people. That still only took up so much time, so he snuck into the kitchen yet again.

"What did I say?" The cook was still facing the sink and, with the Christmas music playing on the radio next to him he should not have been able to hear Zoro's entry. He sighed, hovering behind the table.

"I won't distract you this time. But please, give me something to _do_ at least." 

The cook sighed, turning around with a half peeled potato in his hand. "If you're really that bored and you are genuinely, _honestly_ not going to bother me, then you can peel that bag of carrots over there. _Carefully._ And with a peeler, I'm not having you gouge parts of the carrot out."

Zoro rolled his eyes at the cook's lack of faith in his vegetable peeling abilities. It was just cutting things, he could manage just fine.  
He could feel the cook itching to criticise his technique, but he was ignored in favour of the potatoes. Zoro looked for his own excuses to annoy the cook back, even considered just making conversation but he couldn't bring himself to break the concentration on the cook's face. In fact, this was probably the quietest Christmas meal Sanji had made, considering how crazy the Baratie kitchens sounded... Which meant that he was used to the noise, and most likely could concentrate with it. Still...

"Do you want anything?"

"Huh?" The cook didn't look up from his chopping board. "Just throw them on a plate, I'll sort them out."

"I _meant_ ," Zoro sighed. "Do you want some tea? Coffee? Or... Or anything?"

Sanji raised his head, surprised. "A drink? Actually, that would be... Nice. Thanks. Tea, please."

Zoro nodded, and got started. At least he couldn't be criticized on this, he had actually made tea for the cook before. He wondered at his chances of getting the cook to sit down for just a minute for his drink; it wasn't like they didn't have the time. Sanji still looked so focussed though; Zoro didn't exactly want to take him away from that.

"Tea's on the table when you want it," he mumbled. "So what next, Mr Head Chef?"

He saw Sanji's lips quirk upwards, but still the man kept his eyes on the food in front of him.

"If you wouldn't mind vacuuming the living room? Luffy's due to leave in half an hour, I don't think he can mess it up in that time. Hopefully."

Zoro snorted. "Not good enough for the food am I?" The cook hesitated to reply, and Zoro let out a laugh. "Okay, okay. I'll get out of your way then." He got the room finished quicker than expected, doing a little on the starts before putting the vacuum away. He looked for anything else the cook was likely to do, figuring every less job was a little extra time he could spend with the blond. The living room looked pretty much sorted, which was probably helped by the fact that the cook seemed to rope Usopp into helping him clean more often than not. Zoro actually felt a little bad that he never volunteered to help more, but whatever. They did a good enough job without him.

He wandered back in, noticing the mug sat in the same place on the table as when he left.

"Oi, shitty cook, you going to let the tea I made you go to waste?"

"Oh, crap. Uh, give me a minute." He flailed around for a second, looking for something to wipe his hands with before dunking them in the sink. "Should have probably thought about before starting on the meat, huh?"

Zoro frowned. "Just how much have you got going on here?"

"Well, I need to make sure that everyone else has some left after Luffy and Ace. And they won't be happy with just one kind of meat, so may as well go all out." The blond wiped his hands, striding over and picking up his mug.

"Sit _down,_ swirly brow. You're gonna regret it later."

The cook laughed like that was the funniest joke in the world. "This is nothing compared to the Baratie. Honestly, it feels kind of like making a normal meal for everyone. I can handle way more than this."

"Doesn't mean you should," Zoro grumbled. He moved around to the blond, who sat down anyway. Zoro rested his hands over Sanji's shoulders, rubbing his thumbs in small circles on his back. 

"This is nice," Sanji sighed. He finished his tea, getting up before Zoro could rub deeper. He gave the green haired man a small kiss before returning to his station, placing the mug in the sink.

"You're allowed a longer break than that," Zoro sighed. 

"I don't _need_ one," the blond insisted. "Would you rather I was rushing around last minute and stressing out instead?"

"Not like you won't be doing that anyway," Zoro mumbled. 

"Oi! I gave myself plenty of time. If you're just going to stay here and _try_ to distract me, you're gonna have to leave. My kitchen, my rules. You're not pulling any crap today." 

"Ugh, you're so annoying. You'll only stress yourself out. _Anyway_ , it's nearly lunchtime and the cook can't just not eat if he's cooking all day." 

"I can eat _while_ cooking," Sanji mumbled. "Is that your not so subtle way of telling me you're hungry?" 

He wasn't particularly, but if it slowed down the cook a little, why not?  
"So what if I am?" 

__"Fine, I'll get you something. Sit down, you're annoying me standing up."_ _

__Zoro rolled his eyes. "You're annoying me being so stubborn. Just so you know, I'm not eating if you don't."_ _

__Sanji snorted. "Of course I'm going to eat, idiot."_ _

"I mean _here_. Sat down. With _me_. And the others, I guess." 

__"You're really not going to let up, are you?" The cook sighed. "Fine, have it your way. We're not having a big lunch though, don't get too excited."_ _

__"Just shut _up,_ shit cook." Zoro put his legs on the table, closing his eyes and leaning back on his arms. A small break was better than nothing. _ _

__"Oi, you're not ruining my table just before the biggest meal of the year." Zoro felt his legs being kicked off the furniture, and raised an elbow in retaliation. The cook was already at the opposite side of the table, setting down a few trays of sandwiches and smirking. "Tired already? Maybe you're the one who needs to sleep. CHOPPER! USOPP! FOOD!"_ _

__Zoro heard the footsteps a second later, and straightened himself out. Thank god Luffy was out of the house already; that could have stressed the cook out if nothing else. The other boys were quiet enough, in comparison, with Usopp telling some tale of a warrior Santa Claus he once fought with._ _

__Zoro let his leg subtly slide against the blond's, earning himself a raised eyebrow. He let himself be a little more obvious, with the younger two paying no attention whatsoever. The cook returned his touches for a minute before kicking Zoro in the shin and getting up.  
"Are you two getting ready any time soon? I don't know when exactly people were intending on arriving but we're going to look organized and clean, got it?"_ _

__"Yes Sanji!" Chopper scrambled up, wiping the crumbs off of his mouth. Usopp rolled his eyes, pulling himself up._ _

__"Relax. It's going to be fine."_ _

__"I _know_ it's going to be fine," the blond replied maybe a bit too insistently. "Ugh. Just get ready. Oi, moss head, wanna clean this since you're so keen on helping?"_ _

__Zoro grumbled about it just to keep up their 'everything is normal' act. He paused halfway through tidying at the doorbell._ _

__"Brook or Kaya, I think. Well? Are you getting it?"_ _

__" _Alright,_ no need to be rude." Zoro dried his hands on the back of the blond's shirt, dodging the knife brandished his way. He shuffled off to the door, wincing at the blast of freezing air as he opened it._ _

__"Merry Christmas! Yohohoho!" Zoro stepped aside, avoiding the violin in his face. Brook was already playing some Christmas tune that the green haired man didn't care about enough to place._ _

__"Merry Christmas to you too," he shouted over the noise. Chopper and Usopp flew down the stairs, crowding the abnormally tall man. "Do you want anything?"_ _

__"Yoho, some tea would be nice, thank you!" Brook didn't even miss a beat as he answered._ _

__Zoro slipped back into the kitchen, flipping on the kettle._ _

__"Got there before me?" The cook chuckled before poking his head around the door. "Merry Christmas, Brook!"_ _

__He grinned after he got a reply, returning to the food. "Mind keeping them entertained when you go back in? Make sure no one else comes in, got stuff to sort out."_ _

__"Fine," Zoro sighed, but it would be fun to spend time with people for a while. Everything was surprisingly chilled out, or at least compared to when Luffy and Ace arrived._ _

__The older of the siblings stumbled in, red faced with a huge merry grin on his face. A taller, sleepy looking blond supported him, followed by Luffy, practically bouncing along. Zoro considered warning the cook, but from the racket Ace was making, including the extra loud 'Merry Christmas' and the boisterous laughing, he had a feeling Sanji could already tell. Zoro did his best to keep everyone out of the kitchen, something that was substantially harder to do than expected. In the end he slipped through the doors, giving the cook a panicked look._ _

__Sanji sighed. "I should have expected this; okay, snacks can come out now. That will be fine, right?" He rolled the snacks from their places in the cupboards, dropping them on the table as he found trays and bowls. The cook ripped the bags open, arranging them much too neatly for the amount of time it took him. He all but shoved them at Zoro. The green haired man nearly dropped them, but luckily they got to the recipients with no problem. He had to slide back in for another pot of tea for both Brook and Marco, grabbing fizzy drinks for everyone else on his way back._ _

__Zoro was really glad that he never had or would work with food._ _

__He rested himself against the kitchen door, despite orders for him to stay and entertain the guests. It was noisy and crazy and honestly, he could really do with a nap. He slumped over the table, hoping the blond wouldn't really notice his presence._ _

__Zoro looked up when a steaming cup of coffee was placed in front of him, the cook running a hand through his green hair affectionately._ _

__"You're doing a good job," Sanji murmured, leaning against the table._ _

__"Well, can't have a stressed out cook snapping and ruining Christmas," Zoro chuckled weakly._ _

__"Cheeky moss head." Sanji leaned down, pressing a cook to Zoro's cheek. "As if that could happen."_ _

__"How's about we don't find out and you go out there and enjoy yourself for a while?" He sat up straighter, taking a sip from his coffee. Hazelnut; his syrups were a good idea. "I can keep an eye on things in here." Granted, he wasn't sure exactly what was going on in there, but all it looked like needed doing was checking things every now and then. It would be fine. Probably._ _

__Sanji rolled his eyes. "You do realise that I enjoy cooking, right? And nothing's going to relax me more than knowing _exactly_ what is happening in my kitchen. Thanks for the concern, but honestly, I think being out there will stress me more. I can see everyone when we eat."_ _

__"You best not wear yourself out, shit cook." He stole another kiss, returning to his mug. Sanji chuckled, running his fingers down Zoro's neck before going back to the oven._ _

__"I know what I'm doing, shitty moss head."_ _

__Zoro didn't stay in the kitchen for too long after that, getting no more attention from the cook._ _

__Things were still just as lively in the living room, if not more so now that someone - presumably Luffy - had Mariokart on again. Zoro considered having a turn before the doorbell rang again, and he opened it to find a very cold looking Kaya. He left her to his long nosed flatmate as left to make another tea, wondering at which point he started being so... polite. It was that damn cook's fault, just because he was treating this like some huge special day (which, okay, maybe it kind of was, just not to Zoro), the green haired man wanted it to go well and wow, he was in _deep_. Shitty cook best appreciate it._ _

__He took Usopp's place in Mariokart, laughing at Ace's terrible, uncoordinated, reckless and yet somehow effective driving. After a while he was called into the kitchen, and Zoro stole another kiss while he could._ _

__"Okay - stop getting distracted - could you help set the table? It looks like Luffy and Usopp are having fun, so I don't really want to ask them,"_ _

__"Oh, but it didn't look like _I_ was having fun?" Zoro shot the cook a fake hurt look, earning himself a soft kick._ _

__"Well, since you said you wanted to help so much, I'm going to take advantage of that, so. Cutlery, napkins, glasses. And then when you're done if you could herd them in, that would be great." The cook gave him another peck on the cheek before reaching for the oven gloves. "Oh, drinks too - there's some bottles on that counter, space them evenly, and put the wine - and the cider - on the side that Luffy and Usopp won't be sitting on - after last night, I'm not too sure how much they should be drinking today."_ _

__"He's not the only one it should be away from," Zoro mumbled as he remembered Ace's very red cheeks. It didn't take long to set the table, and as soon as he opened the door wide the two raven haired brothers perked up, faces hopeful. "Get in here now, otherwise no food." Zoro moved out of the way as quickly before he was bowled over, and let their guests take their seats._ _

__He took the plates that were handed to him, putting them before the people he was directed to. He nearly had a couple of them snatched right out of his hand, and Zoro was glad he didn't feed Luffy usually. He really did not know how the cook did it._ _

__"You're quite a good kitchen helper are you not, Zoro? Yohohoho!"_ _

__"Yeah, sorry you got roped into that. I bet Sanji's been like a slave driver," Usopp snickered._ _

__Zoro rolled his eyes. "Yeah, it's been horrible. Threatened to break my guitar if I didn't help, shitty swirly cook."_ _

__"Oh, look, I conveniently forgot to make a plate for moss head. _Such_ a shame."_ _

__Zoro dodged the elbow at his head, pulling his own plate off the counter. He didn't sit until to cook did, needing to make sure that the blond actually sat down and enjoyed himself for long enough. Sanji didn't seem in a rush to finish his meal though, with a tall glass of wine next to him._ _

__"I hope you're planning on drinking that slowly, shit cook," Zoro grinned. "I've seen you on enough wine recently."_ _

__"Shut up, you shitty bastard. I'm eating it with food anyway, it's fine." He gave Zoro an irritated look, but he could tell the blond didn't really mean it. Zoro let his foot knock against the cook's again, earning himself a quiet chuckle._ _

__At some point during the meal Brook's violin appeared again, playing along to the Christmas crap still on the radio. Zoro honestly couldn't understand how to cook wasn't going crazy from the amount of Christmas songs he must have heard today, but Sanji seemed to be enjoying himself. He was actually a lot more relaxed than Zoro expected, although considering nothing had actually gone wrong that probably explained it. The food was great too - he found himself attempting to stuff more into his stomach even though it was close to bursting. Zoro wasn't really too sure the last time he had a proper Christmas dinner, but this easily topped it._ _

__Then the desserts came out, cakes and apple pie and crap he didn't even realise the cook had made. No wonder he hadn't left the kitchen all day. Zoro laughed when Ace fell asleep, knocking his wine over Luffy and nearly starting a food fight. The cook kicked them out before anything could actually come of it, and the brothers continued on with their celebrations in the living room with the rest of the snacks Sanji threw at them. Soon they all retreated to the living room, watching some animated Christmas film by the sound of it. Zoro could see at least half of their guests just slumped over the sofa, and he suspected more than just Ace would end up asleep by the end of the day._ _

__Zoro got up, blocking the sink as the cook carried the last few plates over to the counter. He ignored the nudges from the blond before dunking the tableware into the water._ _

__"You don't have to wash up, shitty moss head." Sanji made one last attempt to move the green haired man out of the way, but Zoro stood firm._ _

__"Sit the fuck down, cook, you've done enough today."_ _

__He could practically feel the cook's eye roll despite having his back to him. Zoro heard the broom being pulled out and he huffed. The idiot cook really could find anything resembling work to do at all times, couldn't he._ _

__"You're - ugh. You should make Luffy or Usopp do that, stop _working_ , damn it."_ _

__"It needs to be done," the cook shrugged. "They look like there having fun out there, I don't want to pull them away to do something that I can just as easily do. And, let's be honest, do better." He did have a point but that didn't make Zoro feel any better about it._ _

__"And what about you having fun? You haven't done all day you shitty excuse for a cook, it's Christmas!"_ _

__"Since when do you care about Christmas?" The blond smirked. "And I did have fun. Cooking is fun, and we just spent three hours at that table having fun with everyone else. Stop worrying, you big idiot."_ _

__" _You're_ the idiot." Zoro dropped what he was holding into the sink, wiping his hands on a towel before marching over and wrapping his arms around the cook. "Stop for just _one_ minute, would you?" He pressed slow kisses to the cook's neck, working his way up the the blond's jaw. "You're such a pain. I've been waiting for you to have some time free all day, and now that you do, you're working again! Shitty cook, can you relax for just a little bit?"_ _

__Sanji laughed, leaning his broom against the table. "I guess I could spare you a few minutes, for being so well behaved today." He let his head fall back on Zoro's shoulder, letting the green haired man reach his lips._ _

__Zoro smiled into the kiss, letting the cook lead before spinning him around and hooking his fingers through Sanji belt loops. "I'd rather have more than a few minutes, if you don't mind." He could feel the blond grinning, and he took the chance to pull him closer._ _

__"Don't be so impatient. I'd like to have this all cleaned before-" the cook leaned forwards and nipped at Zoro's ear, teasing his tongue over the three golden earrings. "-Your other present you promised me tonight."_ _

__Zoro's opened his mouth the speak, but he couldn't find anything to say because _damn_ -_ _

__"Yohoho! This is not what I was expecting! It looks like Christmas really does bring people together! Yohohoho!"_ _

__Zoro groaned as he watched Brook back out of the door he just opened. Well, the cat was out of the bag _now_._ _

__"Looks like I won't have to tell everyone about my new boyfriend then," Sanji smirked._ _

"You better be talking about _me_ here, shit cook." 

__"What, do you see any other shitty moss head around? Merry Christmas, you fucking idiot."_ _

"Merry Christmas to you too, shitty swirly _boyfriend,_ " and didn't _that_ feel good to say. 


	25. Post-Christmas

"So you're telling me, you _shitty_ moss head, the reason why you were being so spacey and stupid was because you liked me? You fucking idiot, you should have just said something! Don't worry about something like that, you _idiot_." He threw a bauble at Zoro, who only narrowly missed it.

"Hey! It would have been a pretty big thing if it made things in the house that awkward. Y'know, if you said no. I didn't even know what was going on! And anyway, what about you? You can't tell me that you didn't have something going on-"

Sanji sighed. "You're probably the stupidest guy I know. Although I guess I've been pretty stupid too, letting... well, I guess the same thing bother me. We're both idiots, huh?"

"You said it," Zoro smirked, flinging a handful of tinsel at the blond's face. He avoided the kick aimed at him, holding the tree still as a foot slipped through the branches instead. "Well, at least that's over now."

"True. You're not allowed to worry me again like that, you hear me? Talk to me next time." Sanji untangled the tinsel in his face, hands looping through the ends and throwing it around Zoro, pulling him in closer.

"Says you, don't forget that you were worrying me first. Don't just blame everything on work, shitty cook. I know your game." He rested his elbows on the cook's shoulders, letting a hand run through soft blond hair.

"Okay, fine. We'll _both_ talk." He kissed the green haired man on the cheek, before Zoro held him still. He rubbed a thumb over Sanji's cheeks, marvelling at how it had come to this. At how he had this beautiful blue eyed blond, who annoyed him more than anyone else in the world, as his _boyfriend_. The idea was still kind of crazy, but... It was great. 

"I hope all of this being nice isn't just for the holidays," Sanji chuckled.

"Don't get excited, I was only nice because I felt sorry for your crappy attempts at Christmas, " Zoro smirked in response.  

It took them a lot longer than it should to take the decorations down and get the tree ready for throwing away. At least the younger two housemates were away, so they could appreciate the lack of distractions; no one interrupting, no certain time to have things finished by, no one being worn out from working the whole day and not having the energy to _enjoy_ himself properly.

Christmas being over was great. He didn't have to share his cook with this shitty holiday - although, was it really fair to call it shitty considering what it lead to? And how happy it made the blond, with photos of the group throughout the holidays littering his Facebook and the great big grin on his face at the end of Christmas Day, when everything was finished... Maybe Christmas wasn't all that bad. Maybe... He'd even be looking forwards to next Christmas. 

Not that he'd ever admit that to the shitty cook.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. I have never written that much fic in that amount of time... or even that much for any one story/series (especially posting nearly everyday; hard, but worth it). It kind of... decided to be less drabbley and turned slightly more fic-ish after a point, which wasn't exactly my plan but now I'm really excited to start writing more OP fic. I had SO much fun doing this and I really appreciate all of the lovely comments I've had along the way. I hope you all had as good a Christmas as Zoro (if you celebrate it!) Thank you for reading :)


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